Lesson video

Hello everyone.

My name is Miss Baron and this is my friend Maurice.

I think you know us both already by now.

Now Maurice and I both love stories.

So we're really looking forward to today's lesson because today we are going to edit and perform our finished stories.

We can't wait, can we? Now we've been learning all about problems that are hard to solve.

So we need to tell you about a big problem that we had this morning, don't we? Should we tell them what happened? Well, Maurice and I went to the shop and when we got back, I'd lost the house keys.

We couldn't get back in, could we? Oh, it was a disaster.

I looked in my bag, I looked to my pockets.

They were nowhere to be seen.

So we had to walk up and down the road, up and down, up and down five times and we still couldn't find the keys.

So then we had to go and get the neighbours to help us.

And then the neighbours were looking for the keys too.

All of us were out on the streets, really searching hard for those keys.

And in the end, our neighbour found them in the road.

Thank goodness they found our house keys so we managed to get back in, phew.

So that was our problem this morning that we managed to solve by asking someone to help us.

Now, should we get on with today's learning and we can perform our stories.

So like I said, today we are going to be editing and performing our recycled stories.

This is what the learning's going to look like.

First, we're going to do a spelling activity.

Then we're going to do some shared editing.

You're going to help me edit my story.

And then it will be your turn to edit your story.

And then we're going to perform our stories.

In this lesson you will need something to write on, a piece of paper or an exercise book and something to write with, a pencil or a pen.

So pause the video now if you need to go and get any of those things.

Fantastic.

You are now ready to start the learning today.

So let's begin with our spelling activity.

Now you will see on the screen that I have created a game for you to play today.

A game to practise our suffixes.

Now we have been learning all about suffixes, haven't we? Can you first remind me what a suffix is? Can you say it in a full sentence? A suffix is, go on tell your screen now.

Fantastic.

You now know what a suffix is.

A suffix is a letter or group of letters that go at the end of a word and change its meaning.

And we have been learning about two different suffixes, haven't we? We've been learning about the suffix -ed, which puts verbs in the past tense and the suffix I-N-G, -ing, which means that the verb is still happening.

It's still going on.

So let me just give you two examples.

Here's a suffix -ed on the end of a verb.

I climbed the tree.

Climbed ends in -ed.

That tells me the verb has happened already.

It's in the past, it's finished.

If I say I am climbing the tree, that means it's still going on.

I'm still climbing.

So those are two examples of how we use our two different suffixes.

Now this is how you play the game.

So you're going to start on the left hand side of the screen in the first purple box, which has the suffix I-N-G.

Now what you need to do is say a word with an action for each box.

A word that has that suffix ending.

And as you go around the board, you are going to collect the stars.

So your aim is to collect all four stars by the end.

See if you can do that.

So let me give you an example of how you play.

I'm going to do the first two boxes that helped me collect my first star.

So listen carefully.

Climbing.

Shouted.

Now I get my first star.

So that's how I want you to play, move around the board like that, thinking of a word that ends in that suffix, say it out loud with an action.

See if you can get all the way around the board and collect your four stars.

Pause the video now to play the game.

Now in the last lesson, we finished writing our stories, didn't we? Now today we are going to edit them to make some final improvements so that we have our beautiful, finished final draught of our stories.

Now all great writers, do this.

All great writers go back and reread their work and edit to see if there's any way that they can improve it even more.

So I'm going to show you how to do that today with my story and then you're going to do that with yours.

And that way you are going to have your best final story that is finished, that you can be really, really proud of.

Now we're ready to edit our work.

So here's my finished story that you helped me to write.

I feel so proud of it already.

And I know that once I've made just a few final improvements it is going to be the best work that I could possibly have written.

Now I added a sentence of my own at the end of the last lesson, just like you did.

And that sentence was to show what's happened to our second character.

So let me just show you where that is now in my story.

It was here at the end.

"Years later, her son became a paper plane maker too." And then I wrote what happened to him.

This was my sentence that I wrote on my own at the end of last lesson.

"One day he fell asleep under a tree.

The monkeys took his planes too." So that was the problem for the second character, which I needed to add in.

Now, I know that you did that in your writing last lesson.

So, now let's read our finished story all the way through.

Read with me.

Once there was a paper aeroplane maker.

Dizzy Lizzy was skipping through the leafy forest.

She was on her way to market to sell her planes.

A crowd of monkeys stole her planes.

This is a disaster.

She waggled her finger at the monkeys.

She threw her plane on the ground.

The monkeys copied her.

She felt delighted.

Years later, her son became a paper plane maker too.

One day, he fell asleep under a tree.

The monkeys took his planes too.

He threw his plane down.

The monkeys did not move a muscle.

I am not going to make any money now.

The monkeys kept the planes.

Dizzy Lizzy's son was fed up.

He went home to bed and sulked.

The end.

Now I really like my story, but there are a few things that I would like to edit.

I liked the fact that I've shown the problem really clearly for each character.

So here in this section, I've shown the problem when Dizzy Lizzy had her planes taken by the monkeys and I've shown it again here, for Dizzy Lizzy's his son.

He fell asleep under a tree.

The monkeys took his planes too.

And I think I've done well at showing how both characters deal with the problem.

I've shown what they think about it and how they feel about it and what they do about it.

And those were our key things that we needed to do to show why the problem matters to the character.

But there are a few things that I would like to add to make it even better.

So the first thing I would like to add is a sentence here.

I want to add a sentence here to tell my reader what kind of planes my character made.

So I'm going to put a red star here 'cause I can't fit in another sentence here.

There's no room.

So I'm going to put a red star and I'm going to put another red star here.

And this shows that my sentence, that I'm about to write here should go here in my story.

So my sentence is going to start with the character's name because I haven't named her yet.

So my sentence is going to be Dizzy Lizzy made planes.

I wonder what adjective, what describing word could I put into my sentence to say what the planes were like.

Can you give me your idea? Can you say Dizzy Lizzy made planes and tell me your idea? Tell your screen now.

Ah, brilliant ideas! I could use any one of those.

These are the ones I heard.

I heard Dizzy Lizzy made fast planes.

Dizzy Lizzy made pointy planes.

Dizzy Lizzy made white planes.

I could use any of those adjectives.

I think I want to choose fast, because I think Dizzy Lizzy really loves fast things and that's why she became a paper aeroplane maker in the first place.

So my sentence is going to be Dizzy Lizzy made fast planes.

Tap it out with me on your head.

Dizzy Lizzy made fast planes.

On your nose.

Dizzy Lizzy made fast planes.

Fingers.

Dizzy Lizzy made fast planes, five words.

Okay, now help me write it.

And we're going to write it here, aren't we? Capital D for the character's name and the beginning of a sentence.

Dizzy Lizzy made, sound it out with me, Mm aye duh, made.

Mm aye, split diagraph ae, made fast.

Now fast.

Going to show you how to write it.

Fast.

F-A-S-T spells fast.

Planes.

We know how to spell planes by now, don't we? Pe oo aye, again, there's our ae split diagraph, nn ss.

Dizzy Lizzy made fast planes.

And I'm going to just underline the adjective in my sentence to show you where that is.

Dizzy Lizzy made fast planes.

Is that five words? Lets just check.

Dizzy Lizzy made fast planes.

Yes, it is.

And I've got my capital letter at the start and my full stop at the end.

To add your sentence to describe what your character made you might like to use one of the words in the blue boxes.

Bright, pretty, sparkly, bouncy, strong, huge, scary, round.

So for example, if your character made footballs, your sentence might say, made bouncy footballs.

If your character made toy dinosaurs, you might say, made scary toy dinosaurs.

If your character made party dresses, you might say, made pretty party dresses.

Up to you.

You might like to use one of those words or you might like to use a different word that's not on the screen.

So have a go at writing your sentence to describe what your character made.

Pause the video now and do that.

Well done.

Now we're going to add another sentence.

I think I want to tell my reader a little bit more about my character so they can picture the character clearly.

So I would like to describe what she looks like.

I'm going to describe her appearance.

Remember that word? Appearance means what they look like.

So, I've used the sentences before and I'd like to put them in my final story.

So I'm going to carry on now after this sentence and say Dizzy Lizzy had brown eyes and dark hair.

Say that with me.

Dizzy Lizzy had brown eyes and dark hair.

Let's tap it out on our heads.

Dizzy Lizzy had brown eyes and dark hair.

Shoulders.

Dizzy Lizzy had brown eyes and dark hair.

Fingers.

Dizzy Lizzy had brown eyes and dark hair.

It has eight words, okay.

So again, I'm going to have capital letter for her name and the beginning of a sentence.

Dizzy Lizzy had, ha duh, had brown eyes.

Sound that brown with me.

Buu ruh ow nn, brown.

Buu ruh ow nn, brown.

And its the ow sound as in clown, down, spelled O-W.

Brown, now watch how I spell eyes.

Remember that tricky word.

Eyes.

E-Y-E-S spells eyes.

Dizzy Lizzy had brown eyes and, ah nn duh, dark, sound out dark with me.

Duh ah kk, dark.

Well done.

Duh ah kk, dark hair.

Hair.

Dark hair.

Full stop at the end of my sentence.

Let's read it.

Dizzy Lizzy had brown eyes and dark hair.

Lets count the number of words.

Dizzy Lizzy had brown eyes and dark hair.

Fantastic.

There's my eight words.

And again, I've got my capital letter at the start and my full stop at the end.

Now I would like you to pause the video and write your sentence about what your character looks like.

Now it's your turn to make your edit to add detail about what your character looked like.

So, I wrote one sentence in my story, but I would like you to have a go at writing too.

So your first one might describe their size.

You might want to use adjectives like tall, short, big, small.

And start, she or he was.

For example, she was short.

And your second sentence might describe them in a bit more detail.

So you might talk about their eyes, their hair, the colour of their top, their shoes, whether they have glasses or not.

So.

for example my sentence was she had brown eyes and dark hair.

Pause the video now and write your two sentences to add detail about what your character look like.

Now you might have noticed, but I forgot to mention, I am doing my editing in a different coloured pen.

Now, don't worry if you haven't done that for yours.

I'm just using the different colour to show you so you can see clearly where the changes are in my story/ But you don't need to worry about that.

No, let's read the story from the beginning with my edits in.

Read with me.

Once there was a paper aeroplane maker.

Dizzy Lizzy made fast planes.

Dizzy Lizzy had brown eyes and dark hair.

Dizzy Lizzy was skipping through the leafy forest.

Hm, actually I think my sentences now start too many times with Dizzy Lizzy.

It's too much repetition.

So I actually want to cross out Dizzy Lizzy here.

Watch me cross it out.

I'm just going to do one neat line.

And that's okay.

We can cross things out.

That's what we do when we're editing.

And I'm going to start with she instead.

So I'm going to replace Dizzy Lizzy with the pronoun she.

She, capital S remember, S-H-E spells she.

So now it's going to read, once there was a paper aeroplane maker.

Dizzy Lizzy made fast planes.

She had Brown eyes and dark hair.

Dizzy Lizzy was skipping through the leafy forest, oh I think I want to change.

I want to add one day here.

So, I'm going to cross out my capital letter there.

One day, I like that story opener.

One day.

So, one day Dizzy Lizzy was skipping through the leafy forest.

She was on her way to market to sell her planes.

A crowd of monkeys stole her planes.

This is a disaster.

I think I want to add something else here.

This is going to be the last thing I'm going to add.

I want to add something here to show how she felt.

So, the monkeys have stolen her planes.

She thinks it's a disaster.

How does she feel about it? Tell me your idea now.

Say, she felt.

Go on, tell me your idea.

Oh wow.

So many brilliant ideas to tell me how she felt.

I heard she felt furious.

What a great word to use Furious remember, was one of our story words.

It means really angry.

Furious.

I really like that one.

I heard frustrated, another fantastic word from our story.

Frustrated means really annoyed.

And I heard worried.

Gosh, all good options.

I think I want to choose furious.

Furious, that story word to show that she is really angry.

So, my sentence is going to be, she was furious.

You might like one of those other options that you heard, or you might have a different idea, keeps it in your head for your sentence, that you're going to edit into your story.

Mine, so I've drawn my star there.

I've drawn another star here to show where it's going to go.

Just in case I can't fit it in there.

So she, capital S, H-E.

She was, she was furious.

Watch me write it.

We can't sound this word out.

Furious.

Tricky word to spell.

Furious, F-U-R-I-O-U-S spells furious.

She was furious and then a full stop at the end of my sentence.

So I'm going to add that in there.

It's now going to read a crowd of monkey stole her planes.

This is a disaster.

She was furious.

I liked that more because it tells me how the character felt about the problem.

Now we've done our SAD editing, thinking about what we would swap, add or delete I would like you to do your five finger check.

So checking out for capital letters, finger spaces, spellings, have you used your sounds to help you spell words and have you spelled your tricky sight words correctly? Full stops and does your work make sense? Pause the video now and check for those things.

Well done for editing your story.

It was so worth it because now you have your brilliant, finished story.

And now we are going to perform it.

Stories are meant to be read, they're meant to be told.

So we are now going to tell our finished stories.

And there are three things that I want you to think about when you tell your story today.

I want you to think about making your actions really clear.

So actions help to make the story clear.

I want you to think about using your voice and changing it a little bit so it sounds different in different places.

So you might change the pitch.

The pitch is how high or low your voice is.

And you might change the pace.

The pace is how fast or slow your voice is.

So often in stories, if there's an exciting or dramatic bit, then we speed up the pace we speak faster.

And if things are moving along happily than we might speak slower and have a slower pace.

And finally using our facial expressions to show character feelings.

So if the character is angry, we are going to pull an angry face like this.

Okay.

So I'm going to tell my story now, trying to do those three things so you can see them in action and then you're going to have a go at telling your final stories, thinking about those three things.

Now, you're probably going to notice that I add a bit more detail when I tell it.

And that's fine.

You can do the same thing when you tell yours, too.

Okay, so are you sitting somewhere comfortable? Are you sitting somewhere quiet? It's story time.

This is the story of monkeys and paper aeroplanes.

Once there was a paper aeroplane maker.

Her name was Dizzy Lizzy.

Dizzy Lizzy made all sorts of planes.

She made fast planes, pointy planes, white planes, all sorts of planes.

She loved planes more than anything else in the world.

And one day she was skipping through the leafy forest on her way to market to sell her planes.

But it was a hot day and Dizzy Lizzy felt tired.

So she fell asleep under a tree.

When she woke up, her basket of planes was empty.

She looked for them everywhere.

She looked here, she looked there, she looked everywhere but there was no sign of her planes.

And then she heard a noise up in the tree.

She looked up and there in the tree was a crowd of monkeys.

Each one of them playing with one of her paper planes.

"This is a disaster," she thought.

She was furious.

"Give me back my planes!" she said.

But the monkeys just copied her.

They said.

So, she shouted at them again.

"Give me about my planes right now!" And the monkeys just copied her.

Well, this went on and on and on and she was so frustrated.

So she threw her plane down on the floor.

And when she did that, guess what those monkeys did? They just copied her.

They threw all of the planes on the floor and Dizzy Lizzy was delighted.

She got all of her planes back.

That day she sold them all at market and she went home and told her son the story of how she tricked monkeys into giving her back all of her planes.

And years passed and Dizzy Lizzy's son became a paper plane maker too.

And one day he too was walking through the forest on his way to market to sell his planes.

And he too fell asleep under a tree.

When he woke up his paper planes were gone.

But he wasn't worried, he knew where they were.

He looked up in a tree and saw those monkeys playing with them and thought, "I know how to get my paper planes back." So he said to the monkeys, "I know how to get my planes back." And what do you think the monkeys did? They just copied him didn't they in their monkey talk.

And he said, "My dad told me this story." And the monkeys just copied him.

So he threw his plane down on the floor.

But the monkeys did not move a muscle.

He threw his plane down again.

And again and again.

And still the monkeys did nothing.

Well, Dizzy Lizzy's son couldn't believe it.

"What is going on," he thought.

"Come on, throw your planes down.

Do what you're meant to do, throw them on the floor." But those monkeys did nothing.

And in the end the chief monkey's son climbed down the tree until he was face to face with the paper aeroplane maker's son.

And said, "You think you're so clever because your mom told you stories.

Well, guess what? Our mom's told us stories too.

This time, we're keeping the planes." And off they went into the forest with all of Dizzy Lizzy's son's paper planes.

And Dizzy Lizzy's son went home with nothing.

He was so fed up when he got home, he just went into bed and sulked.

And that is the end of the story, "Monkeys and Paper Aeroplanes ." I hope you enjoyed listening to me tell my story.

Now it's your turn to tell your story.

You might like to tell it as you've written it down on your piece of paper, or you might like to add more detail when you tell it like I did.

You could tell it to somebody in your household, a parent or carer.

You might like to tell it to your friend.

You could tell it to your teddy even or one of your toys.

So have a go at telling your story.

Think about how you're going to use actions, how you're going to use your facial expressions to show the characters feeling and how you might change your voice to keep the listener really interested as you tell your story.

Pause the video now and have it go at that.

So that brings us to the end of our learning in this unit, recycling our story "Monkeys And Hats" to make it our own.

And we've done that with a real focus on problems that matter, haven't we? So now you know how to make the problem really matter in a story.

And that is really important for writing great stories.

So well done.

Maurice and I want to say a huge well done for all of your hard work in this unit and for writing those fantastic stories.

We would love to read them.

So if you'd like to, please ask your parent or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, tagging at @OakNational, @KateEBarron and #LearnwithOak.

And I look forward to seeing you in the next unit when we are going to be learning how to make magic hats.

So, see you then.

But for now, bye.