Lesson video

Hello everyone, my name is Miss Barron and I love stories.

And I am really looking forward to today's lesson, because today we are going to write the ending of our recycled stories.

So they're nearly finished! Soon we will have our own finished stories that we can tell and read and perform.

So, this is what you are going to do today: You are going to first, sing a problem song about how the second character in our story deals with the problem of those naughty monkeys.

Then we're going to do some shared writing together, and then you're going to write some sentences of your own to finish your own stories.

Now in this lesson, you are going to need something to write on, an exercise book or a piece of paper, and something to write with, so a pencil or a pen.

Pause the video now, and go and get those things if you need to.

Now we're going to sing, a problem song about the second character in our story.

We're learning all about problems aren't we, in our story writing? And so, in the last lesson, we wrote the opening of our story.

We introduced our character, mine was Dizzy Lizzy, and we introduced the problem for our character.

So the monkeys taking the thing that they make, that they need to go and sell at market.

And we had a song, didn't we, about the problem for our first character, and the song told us what the character thought, felt, and did about the problem.

Now, we need to think about the second character in our story, because our character has a son or a daughter don't they? So, in my story, Dizzy Lizzy has a son.

I wonder if your character has a son or a daughter.

But that character remember, grows up to make those things of their own, and then they go through the forest on their way to market, and they to fall asleep under a tree.

And the same thing happens to them.

Although it turns out a bit differently doesn't it? So that's what we're going to explore today, and we're going to do it with song first before we put it into our writing.

So, are you ready to hear our problem song for the second character? The song has the same tune as the song we sang yesterday.

Some of the words are the same, but some of them are a bit different, because today's song is about how the second character deals with the problem.

So listen carefully, and see if you can spot the differences.

I want you to listen for, what the problem is, what the character thinks about it, how the character feels about it, and what they do about it.

So, see if you can spot those four things when I sing the song.

Listen carefully, and then you're going to join in with me, and sing it about your second character in your story.

So, are you ready? ♪ I have a problem I care about, care about, care about.

♪ ♪ I have a problem I care about, it's really hard to solve.

♪ ♪ The monkeys took my paper planes, paper planes, ♪ ♪ paper planes.

♪ ♪ The monkeys took my paper planes.

♪ ♪ Why won't they give me them back? ♪ ♪ I keep throwing down my plane, down my plane, ♪ ♪ down my plane.

♪ ♪ I keep throwing down my plane.

♪ ♪ Why won't they copy me? ♪ ♪ What am I going to sell today, sell today, sell today? ♪ ♪ What am I going to sell today? ♪ ♪ This is so unlucky.

♪ ♪ I won't make any money, money, money.

♪ ♪ I won't make any money ♪ ♪ This is so unfair.

♪ Did you spot some of the differences? So this time, you're going to sing it with me, and again, instead of saying paper planes, I'm going to pause, put my hand out like this and go "mm mm mm" and that's going to show that it's your turn to say what the monkeys took from your character.

Okay, are you ready to join in with me? Let's go.

♪ I've got a problem I care about, care about, care about.

♪ ♪ I've got a problem I care about.

♪ ♪ It's really hard to solve.

♪ ♪ The monkeys took my "mm mm mm", "mm mm mm", ♪ ♪ "mm mm mm".

♪ ♪ The monkeys took my "mm mm mm" ♪ ♪ They won't give me them back.

♪ ♪ I keep throwing down my "mm", down my "mm", ♪ ♪ down my "mm" ♪ ♪ I keep throwing down my "mm".

♪ ♪ Why won't they copy me? ♪ ♪ What am I going to sell today, sell today, sell today? ♪ ♪ What am I going to sell today? ♪ ♪ This is so unlucky.

♪ ♪ I won't make any money, money, money.

♪ ♪ I won't make any money, this is is so unfair.

♪ Well done, super job.

Now, let's have a think about how that song is going to help us with our writing today.

Do you remember in the last lesson, I told you that great writers, make problems matter, by doing four key things? First, they make the problem hard to solve.

Then, they show what the character thinks about it.

Then, they show how the character feels about it.

And finally, what the character does about it.

And I think our song shows those four things really clearly.

So let's have a look at that in a bit more detail.

Now here are the first two verses of our song, and they are exactly the same as the song we sang yesterday aren't they? Because the problem is the same for both characters.

The problem is the same for both the first character and the second character in our story.

Both have their things stolen by the monkeys don't they? And we know the problem is hard to solve because of that last line, he says: ♪ They won't give me them back ♪ So the character can't get their things back from the monkeys.

This is a really hard problem to solve.

Now let's look at what the next two verses of our song tell us.

Sing that first one with me ♪ I keep throwing down my plane, down my plane, ♪ ♪ down my plane.

♪ ♪ I keep throwing down my plane.

♪ ♪ Why won't they copy me? ♪ So those lines in black, tell us what the character does, to deal with the problem.

They are actions aren't they? What does he do? He throws down his plane.

Just like your character will throw down on the floor, whatever it is that they make.

Because remember, this character learnt the story from their mom or dad didn't they? They think that if they throw their things on the floor, the monkeys will copy them and do the same.

And that's how they'll get their things back.

But we know, that this isn't what happens for this character.

And then the last line: "Why won't they copy me?" is a thought isn't it? It tells us what the character is thinking.

Now let's sing the next verse.

♪ What am I going to sell today, sell today, sell today? ♪ ♪ What am I going to sell today? ♪ ♪ This is so unlucky.

♪ Those are more thoughts aren't they? Those again tell us what the character is thinking.

He's thinking, what am I going to sell at market now? This is such an unlucky thing to have happened to me.

So, we've got what the character does, and what the character thinks about the problem.

Now let's move on to the last two verses.

Sing this first one with me.

♪ I won't make any money, money, money.

♪ ♪ I won't make any money.

♪ ♪ This is so unfair.

♪ Now again we've got thoughts haven't we, at the start there.

He's thinking, I won't make any money.

He's worried about that isn't he, he needs to make money at market.

And then we've got a feeling, he feels that this is unfair, and says, ♪ This is so unfair.

♪ And so, let's sing our last line, our last verse.

♪ This is so unfair, unfair, unfair.

♪ ♪ This is so unfair.

♪ ♪ I'm going home to bed! ♪ So again we've got the feeling, he feels it is unfair, and then finally an action.

What does he do at the end? What does the character do? He goes home to bed, he gives up.

So, there our song shows our four things that we need to do as writers to make problems matter.

We need to make the problem hard to solve.

We need to show what the character thinks about it.

How the character feels about it.

And what the character does about it.

So maybe you can use some of those phrases, some of those lines from our song to put into your writing today.

To show how the problem matters for our second character.

So let's start our writing.

Now we're ready to write the last part of our story.

And we're going to show how the second character deals with the problem of those monkeys.

Now you're going to help me with my story first, and then it's going to be your turn to write the last part of your story.

So remember, my second character is Dizzy Lizzy's son, and the monkeys have taken his paper aeroplanes.

Now there are four things that we need to do in our writing today.

Remember four things that make problems matter to the character.

So first, we need to make it hard to solve.

We need to show what the character is thinking.

We need to show how the character feels about it.

And we need to show what the character does about it.

So we're going to start with that last one.

We're going to start our writing today with a sentence to show what the character did.

Now how did he try to solve that problem, what was the first thing he did.

Can you tell me your idea? So the monkeys have got his paper planes.

What was the first thing he tired to do, to solve the problem? Tell me your idea now, he.

Ah, I'm hearing some great ideas, let me share them with you.

I heard, he threw his plane down.

I heard, he hit them on the head.

And I heard, he chucked his plane on the floor, chucked is another word for threw.

I like, well, hit them on the head is funny, but that's not what happens in the story, so I'm not going to use that.

I think I'm going to choose the first one, he threw his plane down, he threw his plane down.

So, he, one of our site words, he, capital H to start our sentence.

He, h-e spells he.

He, finger space remember, threw, threw.

He threw his, you can write that.

He threw his plane down, sound out plane with me.

P-l-a-n-e, Plane He threw his plane down.

Sound out down with me.

D-o-w-n, down.

He threw his plane down.

And then a full stop at the end of my sentence.

Read it back with me.

He threw his plane down.

So, that's my sentence to show how the character tried to solve the problem.

Now, I think I want a sentence now, to say what the monkeys did.

What did the monkeys do back to that? So he threw his plane down, did the monkeys copy him? What did they do? Tell me in a full sentence now.

What did they do? They? Awesome, great ideas.

You're right, they didn't copy him did they? So I heard, they did not copy him.

I also heard, they did not move a muscle.

And I heard, they did not flinch.

Remember that word flinch, flinch meant the same as, not move a muscle.

If you don't flinch, it means that you don't move at all.

So, I think I'm going to choose, well I like all of those.

All of those work, I think I'm going to choose the second one, they did not move a muscle.

They did not move a muscle.

I'm going to start it with the monkeys.

So, capital T, at the beginning of my sentence.

T-h-e spells the.

The monkeys, we know how to spell that word now.

The monkeys did not move a muscle.

Did not move a muscle.

So read it back with me so far.

He threw his plane down.

The monkeys did not move a muscle.

Now I'm going to write my next sentence.

I'm going to write a sentence to show what he thought.

What he thought.

What do you think the character was thinking then? So, he threw his plane down, the monkeys didn't do anything.

The did not copy him, what was he thinking? Tell me your idea now.

Again, some really fantastic ideas today.

Well let me tell you some of the ones I heard.

I heard, how dare they? I heard, I'm not going to make any money now.

And I heard, this is madness.

So, we've got: How dare they? I'm not going to make any money now.

Or, this is madness.

I like all three of those, this is madness shows he's really angry, so does, how dare they, and I'm not going to make any money now, shows he's really worried, about what will happen if he doesn't get these planes back.

I think I'm going to choose that one.

I am not going to make any money now.

So, capital I, I am not going to make any money.

I am not going to make any money now.

Full stop at the end of my sentence.

I am not going to make any money now.

I like that sentence, because it really tells me that he's worried about what's going to happen if he doesn't solve this problem.

Now I would like you to pause the video here, and write your first three sentences, about what your character did to try and solve the problem, what the monkeys did back, and then what your character thought about that.

So three sentences, what the character did to try and solve the problem, what the monkeys did back, and what the character thought about it.

Pause the video now to have a go at writing those three sentences about your character.

Well done for writing your three sentences.

Now we're going to write the last three sentences, to finish off our story.

So, I now want a sentence to say what they monkeys did with the planes at the end of the story.

So, I'm going to say the monkeys kept the planes.

The monkeys kept the planes.

Say that with me, the monkeys kept the planes.

Tap it out on your head, the monkeys kept the planes.

On your nose, the monkeys kept the planes.

Well done.

Okay the, again capitalise for the beginning of my sentence.

The monkeys, there's our key story word again.

The monkeys kept, sound it out with me.

K-e-p-t, the monkeys kept, well done, the planes.

Sound it out with me again, you've already spelt it once today.

P-l-a-n-e-s.

The monkey kept the planes.

Full stop at the end of my sentence again.

I'm doing well at remembering my full stops today, aren't I? The monkeys kept the planes.

Now, I would like, a sentence now to show how my character feels about this.

So, how does Dizzy Lizzy's son feel about the monkeys, keeping his planes.

Tell me your idea in a full sentence.

Say, I think he feels "mm".

Ah, wow, some great ideas.

I heard at least three brilliant ones, that I could use in my story, let me tell you what they were.

I heard, Dizzy Lizzy's son was furious.

I also heard, Dizzy Lizzy's son was upset and angry.

And I heard, Dizzy Lizzy's son was fed up.

Now I really like the word furious, that's a really great word to use, that means really angry.

Fed up, I think he was definitely feeling fed up with those monkeys, nothing he was trying was working.

So, I like that idea too.

And upset and angry, I think that one works.

I think though, that I am going to choose, fed up, I think fed up.

So, the monkeys kept the planes.

Dizzy Lizzy's son, capital D, beginning of a sentence, and because it's a name.

Dizzy Lizzy's son, s-o-n, spells son.

Dizzy Lizzy's son, was fed up.

Fed up, you can help me sound this out.

F-e-d u-p.

Dizzy Lizzy's son was fed up.

Full stop at the end of my sentence.

Read it back with me.

Dizzy Lizzy's son was fed up.

Now we're going to have our last sentence.

We've said how he feels, what does he do? What does he do? Give me an idea.

What does Dizzy Lizzy's son do at the end of the story, when he can't get his planes back? Tell me your ideas to your screen now.

I heard some really creative ones there.

Let me share them with you.

I heard, he went home to bed.

I heard, he bought a new pair of boots.

And I heard, he went and booked a holiday.

So I like, he went home to bed.

That really shows that he's fed up, sometimes when we're fed up we just don't want to do anything else, we just go to bed.

I like he bought a new pair of boots, and he booked a holiday.

That shows that he's gone and done two things that make him feel better, he's had a bad day and he's going to do things that make him feel better.

I think I'm going to choose he went home to bed.

But you might like one of the other ideas.

So keep that in your mind, or might have had a different idea of your own.

Keep them in there, you're going to help me write my sentence first.

So, he went home to bed.

He, capital H, h-e spells he.

He went home to bed.

He went home to bed.

Full stop at the end of my sentence.

So, let's read our piece of writing through.

I say our, because you helped me with it.

So let's read the writing through.

So, read with me, ready? He threw his plane down.

The monkeys did not move a muscle.

I am not going to make any money now.

The monkeys kept the planes.

Dizzy Lizzy's son was fed up.

He went home to bed.

Now I think I've shown how the problem matters, haven't I? Because I've said, it was hard to solve.

He threw his plane down expecting them to copy and it didn't work.

And I've shown how he feels about it.

I've said that he feels fed up.

I've said what he thought.

He thought, I'm not going to make any money now.

And I've said what he did.

He went home to bed.

So, I think I've made the problem really matter to the character.

Now, I would like you to have a go at writing your last three sentences, to finish off your story.

So, your first one, you're going to say what the monkeys did.

Then you're going to say how your character felt about it.

And then you're going to finish by saying what your character did.

So, pause the video now, and do that.

So, now we are going to re-read and edit our work, like all great writers do.

So, this is a really important part of becoming a fantastic writer.

Now, we're going to read the work first.

So, read it with me.

He threw his plane down.

The monkeys did not move a muscle.

I am not going to make any money now.

The monkeys kept the planes.

Dizzy Lizzy's son was fed up.

He went home to bed.

Now, let's think about s-a-d's, is there anything we would swap? I don't think so, no, I like fed up.

I thought maybe I might swap it for furious but no, I'm going to stick with fed up, I like that to show that he's had enough.

I don't want to delete anything.

I think I do want to add something though.

I think I want to add something at the end here.

So he went home to bed, then I want to use and to link it to something else that he did.

I want to say he went home to bed, and sulked, and sulked.

So sulked is almost like he had a tantrum about it, to show that he's not feeling happy.

So I'm going to cross out my full stop at the end, and sulked, you can sound that out with me.

S-u-l-k-e-d, and its e-d spelling at the end for the "Duh" sound because it's a verb in the past tense.

And sulked, full stop.

He went home to bed and sulked.

So, he's really feeling down about what happened with those monkeys today.

So, I would like you now to re-read and edit your work, like I just showed you with mine.

So think about s-a-d first, swap, add, delete.

And then do your five finger check.

Check for capital letters, finger spaces, spellings, full stops, and that it makes sense.

Pause the video now, and do that for your piece of writing.

Now here's an option for you, if you would like to write one or two more sentences about your story.

So, I thought you could finish your story by writing a sentence about what the character did when they got home.

So, this wasn't in the original story was it? So this is for you to completely make up.

You can write anything that you would like, whatever you think best works for your story, and you might want to use one of these three sentence openers.

So, you could start with, When "mm" got home, and then tell me what happened.

Or you might say, that night.

Or you might start your sentence with, after dinner.

So, something that's either happened to your character when they got home, or something that you character did.

So you might like to have a go at finishing your story with a sentence like that.

Pause the video now and have a go.

Before we finish, I have a question for you that I wanted you to think about.

And the question is, If a genie popped up to grant your character three wishes, what would they ask for? Now, there's no right or wrong here, so you can think of anything you like.

What three wishes do you think your character would ask for if they could have any wishes in the world.

You might want to use these sentence stems to help you think about your ideas.

First, he or she would wish for ___.

Next, he or she would wish for ___.

Finally, he or she would wish for ___.

So I think if it was Dizzy Lizzy, I might say, First, she would wish for a real plane, so that she could travel anywhere around the world.

Next, she would wish for magic shoes that could take her anywhere at anytime.

Finally, she would wish for her own tropical island, so she could lie there in hammock whenever she wanted to relax.

So, those were three wishes that I think my character would ask for.

What do you think your character would ask for? Pause the video now, and have a go.

And that brings us to the end of today's learning.

Well done for working so hard on your writing.

I hope you enjoyed today's lesson.

I really enjoy our writing together.

Now, I would like you to bring your three wishes that your character asked for, from the genie to the next lesson.

I'd like you to tell me at the start of lesson 10 what those three wishes were.

So, until then, I'm going to say goodbye.

Keep singing your story songs, keep telling your story.

And see you in the next lesson.

Bye!.