Lesson video

Hello there, is Mrs Howley here, and this is Cedric.

He's really excited today because we start writing Marley Young's diary today.

I'm going to have to buy Cedric a new diary because he's been writing his thoughts and feelings and everything he's been doing in it all week.

And it's nearly full up.

It's full of the mischief he's been getting up to, isn't it Cedric? It definitely is.

Let's see what our agenda is for today.

In this lesson, we're going to start writing a recount, "Marley Young's diary".

We're going to start with some spelling, then we're going to retell the recount using the, Tell Me More game, then we're going to do some shared writing and you'll have a chance to do some independent writing as well.

You'll need an exercise book or some paper, a pencil or a pen, and your brilliant brain.

Pause the video now, if you need to collect any of those things, then press Play again when you're ready to go.

For the spelling in this part of the unit, we're revising lots of words and patterns and tricks that we've been learning in previous lessons.

Let's have a look at the words now, but Cedric, I've got some of the words in my magical hat here, I wonder if you could pick one out, and then we can challenge ourselves to put it into a sentence and explain what the tricky bit is.

Okay.

So we're going to choose the word, say it in a sentence and explain the tricky bit.

Okay.

Off you go Cedric, he got one, When now the tricky bit is that W-H grapheme at the start.

When will Cedric learn to do the washing up? He's not impressed with that one.

It's a question word.

So I made a question with that word.

Let's see if Cedric can pick me another one.

You ready Cedric? Its ready, he got here, Cats.

What's the tricky bit? Well, it's a plural.

It means more than one Cat.

The Cats were playing in the garden.

Brilliant.

Let's see if Cedric can choose me one more.

Can you get it Cedric? he got one.

He got it.

Okay.

Today Cedric is accept remind me that in our diary entries.

He's absolutely right.

Today.

Now that's one of the words that we can't sound it out, we've just got to know it.

Today, we are writing our diary entries.

Fantastic.

Right, Why don't you have a try at choosing one of those words, looking for the tricky bit, and then saying it in a sentence.

Pause the video now and give that to go and press Play when you're ready for the next parts of the lesson.

Okay.

We are ready to start writing the first part of Marley Young's diary.

In the last lesson of this unit, we unpacked the toolkit for writing a brilliant diary entry.

Can you remember what was in it? Can you Cedric? Thoughts and feelings, absolutely right.

What else Cedric? We've got to tell the events in order.

Now, what can we use to help us tell the events in order? Time words.

That's right words like, first, next, Brilliant.

Is there anything else we can include? Yes, we have to write using words like I and me and my, because we're telling it from the character's point of view.

Brilliant.

I'm sure there was something else from our grammar work Past tense.

Absolutely right.

We're going to write in the past tense.

We are totally ready.

We're going to play a game now.

we're going to play, Tell Me More, But this time, I'm going to be in role as Marley Young.

Let me get my hat on.

Okay.

Now we're going to write about the first part of the story today.

So Cedric's going to ask me some questions about the first part of the story.

Okay.

I woke up to find a magic paintbrush on my desk.

Tell you more about the magic paintbrush.

It was amazing.

It brought things to life and it could help other people.

Tell me more about helping other people.

Well, I helped lots of people in lots of different ways.

I painted a river , when people needed water.

Tell you more about the river, the water splashed onto the ground.

And the people looked so happy.

Thanks, Cedric.

That game really helped us to find out more about that part of the story.

Maybe you could play the Tell Me More game at home, to think about the first part of Marley Young's diary entry.

Okay.

I think we're ready.

We're going to start writing Marley Young's diary entry.

Now, I've got a few things to help me.

I've gone through all of those things in the toolkit, and I've got my notes from a previous lesson to help with that, from what we read as a writer, I've also got the boxing up that we did in lesson six.

That's definitely going to help me as well.

For each sentence that I write, I'm going to think it, say it, then punctuate it.

Think it, say it, punctuate it.

Then when I'm writing, I'm going to think it again.

I'm going to write it, but then I'm going to read it back.

Think it, write it, read it back.

At the start of a diary entry, I'm going to write, "Dear Diary" to show that it's a diary entry.

I like to do that when I'm writing a diary and then I feel like I'm writing to a real person.

Then, I'm going to use my boxing up now to help me.

I've got my introduction and I'm going to write one sentence, that's going to tell me exactly how I, Marley Young, was feeling about what I'm going to write about.

So where I was feeling amazed, I'm going to write, I have had a crazy few days, but you could write something like what an amazing day, anything like that.

I have had a crazy few days.

I have had a crazy few days, Capital letter I have had a crazy few days, full stop.

Okay.

So, capital I, I have, I have had, I have had a, I have had a, I have had a crazy, was that E sound made with the Z again, I have had a crazy few days full stop.

I have had a crazy few days, full stop.

At the top of your page, You can write, Dear Diary.

And then your introduction sentence, you might want to include two sentences, but something to say, How Marley Young feels about the next few days.

"I can't believe what's happened to me, What an amazing few days".

Give it a go now.

Press Pause and press Play again when you're ready to write the next section.

Now I'm ready to write about the first event, Event number 1, This was when he found the magic paintbrush.

I'm going to use one of those time words.

So I'm going to say first, I found a magic paintbrush on my desk.

First, I found a magic paintbrush on my desk.

Capita letter.

First, I found a magic paintbrush on my desk, full stop.

So capital F for the start of our sentence, First, First, I remember that just the one capital I First I found, found, a lot of tricky words.

First I found a magic, paint, and we break it down into two words to help spell it.

Paint brush.

First I found a magic paint brush, on my desk.

magic paintbrush on my desk, full stop.

Now I'm going to add another sentence now to add some extra feelings to how he felt when he found it on his desk.

I'm going to say I was amazed.

I was amazed past tense verb so it ends in E-D.

I was amazed full stop.

Now it's your turn to start writing about the first event.

Try and start your first sentence of this section using a time word.

Like, First.

I've included in the tricky words box for you.

You might also want to add another sentence.

Using some feelings of my boxing up.

I wrote that he felt excited.

I'm really happy when he was helping the people.

Pause the video now and have a go at writing.

The first part of Marley Young's recount of the first event.

Now I'm going to write some more about this first event.

I'm going to use past tense and I'm going to show the reader, how I, Marley Young was really keen to get to the field.

So I'm going to say, I rush.

I rushed because it's past tense.

I rushed to help the people with it.

I rushed to help the people with it, Eight.

Capital letter, I rushed to help people with it' Full stop.

I rushed to help the people with it.

I think a space rushed, remembering the E-D on the end of that verb to show the past tense, I rushed to help.

I rushed to help the, one of our tricky words.

People, I rushed to help the people with it.

I rushed to help the people with it full stop.

Now I'm going to add another sentence describing using the senses to try and imagine that we're actually there.

So I'm going to say, I drew a river and it splashed to life.

I drew a river, and I drew a river and it instead of it came to life here, I really like it splashed to life because it uses our senses more.

E-D on the end of our verb, splashed to life.

I drew a river and it splashed to life, full stop.

Now I want to show how the people were feeling because Marley young would have seen that.

So I'm going to say, they were so happy, full stop.

They, were, so, and then two Ps double consonant, and that E sound with a Y.

They were so happy, full stop.

Now it's your turn to have a go at writing a bit more about that first event, but this time, including feelings and senses.

Maybe you want to say, I drew some delicious plates of food.

Maybe you want to say, the people were amazed, excited? Have a go, pause the video then press Play, when you've written those sentences.

Now I want to include some more of Marley Young's thoughts.

We know we always have thoughts and feelings in a diary.

So what does he think about using the paintbrush? I, I'm going to say I because I'm Marley Young I love, no past tense.

I loved helping people with my paintbrush.

I loved helping people with my paintbrush, full stop.

Capital I and remember, it's also the word I is always a capital.

I loved past tense, loved E-D on the end, but we only add a D because it's already got an E on the end of that verb.

I loved helping, helping, people, with my paintbrush with my paint brush.

I loved helping people with my paintbrush, full stop.

Now, why don't you have a go at writing down some of Marley Young's thoughts in his diary about the first event.

How did he feel about using the paintbrush? Happy? Excited? Proud? Pause the video now and have a go at writing down Marley Young's thoughts in a sentence.

Press Play when you're ready.

Now, it's time to read your work back to somebody and make sure that it's really clear to the reader that you're retelling them the events really clearly as Marley Young.

Pause the video, and I'm going to have a read of mine to Cedric.

Press Play when you're ready.

Cedric, we have worked so hard on diary writing.

We deserve a Cheese cheer.

Are you ready will be my cheese grater.

Ready? Great.

Great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great job.

You should be so impressed if you've managed to use any of those bits of the toolkit in your diary writing.

We'll carry on writing Marley Young's diary in the next lesson.

But in the meantime, maybe you want to use some of those brilliant techniques in your own diary writing.

We can't wait to be working with you again soon.

Bye.