Lesson video

Hello everyone, my name is Miss Barron and welcome to lesson nine in our unit learning and working with the story, How Coyote Brought Fire to Earth.

As you know, this is one of my favourite stories.

I love it because it's so exciting and so dramatic and we are going to be writing a very exciting dramatic scene today.

We're going to be writing the scene when Coyote first meets the fire giants guarding the sun.

So, before we start our lesson, let's sing our song to the tune of London's burning about that moment in the story.

Do you remember it? Joined in with me when you can.

We'll sing it twice.

It goes like this, ♪ Giants are chasing ♪ ♪ Giant are chasing ♪ ♪ Shouting panting ♪ ♪ Shouting panting ♪ ♪ Stop thief ♪ ♪ Stop thief ♪ ♪ Give us back ♪ ♪ our fire ♪ So let's sing it again and make sure you really bring out the anger of those fire giants with your voices, with your facial expressions and with your actions.

Ready? Join in with me.

♪ Giants are chasing ♪ ♪ Giants are chasing ♪ ♪ Shouting panting ♪ ♪ Shouting panting ♪ ♪ Stop thief ♪ ♪ Stop thief ♪ ♪ Bring us back ♪ ♪ our fire ♪ Brilliant job.

You really showed me how angry those fire giants were then.

So that is the scene that we are going to be writing today and making the description really vivid.

So let's get onto that.

In today's lesson, we are going to practise writing vivid description again, but for a different scene, the scene where Coyote meets the fire giants for the first time.

So today, we will first recap that section of the story, then we'll do a sensory grid again, to come up with ideas for our writing, then we're going to do some shared writing together and then you will write the scene on your own.

So in today's lesson, you will need an exercise book, or a piece of paper to write on and a pencil to write with.

So pause the video now and go and get those things if you need to.

Fantastic, you're back and ready to begin.

So, let's begin by retelling this part of the story, so we know what happens before we write it.

So you can see it's the third picture on our map.

Now I'm going to retell that section and listen carefully because I'm going to add a bit of descriptive detail using the senses to help bring it to life even more.

Coyote hid behind a bush.

As he peeped out, he saw that the sun was a blazing, scorching ball of fire.

Then, he saw the fire giants guarding it.

He saw that they had mean, fierce eyes and hands as big as mountains.

Their legs were as long as rivers.

They never blinked.

Their eyes were always blazing, always keeping watch.

The heat was intense.

He could feel the heat of the sun beating down on his fur.

He smelled dusty smoke fitting his nostrils.

He could almost taste the smoke in his mouth.

It made him want to cough.

He felt sweat dripping down his face.

The heat was almost unbearable.

So, I have retold that section just then, adding a bit of descriptive detail, using the senses.

Did you notice that as I told it? I would like you to pause the video now and have a go at doing the same thing.

So retell that section of the story and try and add some detail using the senses.

Pause the video and do that.

So let's now create a sensory grid to come up with some ideas about how we can use the senses to describe that scene.

So let's use our sensory grids to come up with some ideas to help us with our writing again today.

We're going to think about what we can see, hear, smell, taste and feel, at that moment when Coyote first sees the fire giants guarding the sun.

So let's think about what we can see first.

I've written down one idea I had already.

I think we can see the blazing, scorching ball of fire.

Blazing and scorching show how extremely hot the ball of fire is.

The ball of fire is the sun, isn't it? And you can see a comma between my adjectives there.

So what other things can we see? what's else can we see? Go on tell me your ideas.

Tell me to your screen now.

Oh, brilliant ideas, you are really on the ball today.

I heard you say that we can see mean, fierce fire giants.

I heard you say that we can see glaring eyes.

I heard you say that we can see hands as big as mountains and legs as long as rivers.

You're right so, let me write some of those things down.

Watch me write them.

Mean, fierce, fierce, watch me write fierce is a tricky word to spell F-I-E-R-C-E spells fierce.

Mean, fierce fire giants.

You said that we could see their glaring eyes.

Glaring eyes.

You could see their hands as big as mountains Now, mountains, we can sound out the first part Mount, M-OU-NT but the last part is tricky so watch me write it, A-I-N-S is how we end the word mountains.

Hands as big as mountains, legs as long as rivers, R-I-V-ER-S, rivers So, those are all things that we can see that are going to help paint a really clear picture for our reader.

Brilliant.

Now, what sounds can we hear? What do you think we can hear? I've written one idea I had down already.

I think we can hear the fire giant shouting, "Brother, I'm hungry.

Take my place." Now you can see that it is in inverted commas.

We put speech inside inverted commas when we write it down, but don't worry too much about that.

Now then, what else can we hear? What other sounds can we hear? Go on, tell me your screen now.

Fantastic ideas, brilliant.

I heard you say that we can hear crackling fire.

I heard you say that we can hear booming, bellowing voices.

So I'm going to write those down.

Crackling, sound that crackling with me, C-R-A-CK-L-I-NG, crackling fire.

That is exactly the sound fire makes, isn't it? Crackles and then booming, bellowing voices.

Booming, bellowing voices.

Now, if voices are booming and bellowing then they're very low and deep and loud.

Now then, let's move on to what we can smell or taste.

What do you think we can smell or tastes at that moment in the story? Go on tell me your screen now, what ideas do you have? Those are fantastic ideas.

Those are really great.

This one I found quite hard to think about.

So, you said that he could smell, Coyote could smell the dusty smoke.

Dusty, dusty smoke.

Absolutely.

And you told me that he could taste the dry heat in his throat.

Dry heat in his throat.

Fantastic, so we've got an idea both for what we can smell and what we can taste in that section.

Now let's move on to our last section, our last box.

What can be felt at that moment in the story? What can we feel? What can Coyote feel perhaps? Go on, tell me your ideas to the screen.

Brilliant job.

I'm hearing such fantastic ideas today, well done.

I heard you say that he can feel his skin and lips cracking.

I heard you say that he can feel intense, powerful heat burning his skin and that he can feel sweat dripping down his face.

So let me write those ideas down.

He can feel his skin and lips cracking, cracking.

Absolutely.

When our skin and lips get really dry, they crack, don't they? He can feel the intense, remember intense meant really extreme, intense, powerful heat burning his skin, burning his skin.

The heat of the sun is so intense, isn't it? And he can feel sweat dripping, D-R-I-P-I-NG, dripping, two Ps in dripping.

Dripping down his face.

Brilliant.

So, thank you so much for helping me out with that.

That is my sensory grid with ideas for what we can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel, at that moment in the story.

So, now it's your turn to create your sensory grid.

Pause the video now and do that.

Now it's time for our shared writing.

You can see this, I've got my sensory grid with me.

I would like you to make sure that you have yours with you because it's full of fantastic ideas that we can use in our writing.

So I'm just going to pop it to the side, make sure it's somewhere where you can see it.

Now then, take a look at my page here.

You can see this.

I have written my toolkit down at the side, and that is to remind me what I need to do to make sure that my description is really vivid in my writing today.

So we know that we need to use the senses and show what we can see, hear, smell, taste, feel.

We know we need to show character reaction and we know we need to use adjectives and adverbs to help paint a really clear picture for the reader.

And then, I've got my box here where I can jot down my ideas.

So you need to make sure that you have got your toolkit written down somewhere where you can see it and refer to it and somewhere where you can jot down your ideas.

Now it might be at the side of your page, like mine is, or it might be on a separate piece of paper next to you, but pause the video now and do that.

Brilliant.

So now we are ready to start writing.

Now then, I have written my first sentence already to set the scene and show where Coyote is and what he's doing.

So my first sentence is, Coyote peeped out from behind a bush.

Now I really like the verb "peeped", because it shows me that even though Coyote is hiding, he's also looking out carefully and so we're going to use that to introduce what he can see now.

So, first, the first thing he sees is the sun, isn't it.

So I'm going to start my sentence, he saw that the sun was a.

Now, I would like you to finish that sentence for me and come up with some adjectives to describe the sun.

So, he saw that the sun was a.

ball of fire.

That's going to be my sentence.

I would like you to come up with some adjectives for me.

Go on then, tell me your screen what your ideas are.

Oh, brilliant adjectives.

Those are really powerful.

I heard you say scorching.

Scorching means really hot.

I heard you say blazing.

I heard you say flaming.

And I heard you say huge.

Really powerful adjectives to describe the sun.

Now, I would like you to be jotting down your ideas too as we go.

You might like these, or you might like some other ideas of your own that you've got.

So I'm going to choose scorching and blazing because those really tell me how hot it is.

So, my sentence is going to be, he saw that the sun was a scorching, blazing ball of fire.

He saw that the sun was a scorching, now I'm going to write these words in purple, to show where you might like to change the writing, to make it your own.

Scorching, comma between two adjectives, blazing ball of fire.

Ball of fire.

Now then, so Coyote peeps out from behind a bush, he saw that the sun was a scorching, blazing ball of fire.

So now we are going to write about something else that he sees and we are going to write about the fire giants.

So, my sentence is going to start with some adjectives to describe them.

Hmm, hmm giants guarded it.

So, give me some adjectives now to describe the fire giants.

How could we describe them? Go on, tell me your ideas to the screen.

Oh again, some absolutely fantastic adjectives.

You are really good at coming up with powerful adjectives.

So, I heard you say mean, mean.

I heard you say fierce.

I heard you say terrifying.

Watch me write terrifying, terrifying.

And, I heard you say colossal, now colossal means really huge.

Mountains are often colossal.

So mean, fierce, terrifying, colossal.

I would like you to be jotting down your ideas as we go.

So you might like some of those, or you might have different objectives of your own.

So, make sure you're writing them down to remind you what your ideas are.

Now my sentence is going to be.

I think I'm going to say colossal, to show their size, colossal, fierce fire giants guarded it.

So I want to show their size and how mean they are.

Colossal, comma between two adjectives remember? Fierce fire giants guarded it, guarded it.

Now, I think before I finished my sentence, I want an adverb to show how they guarded it.

How did they guard it? Go on, tell me some of your ideas.

How did they guard it? Oh again, brilliant ideas.

You're really on fire today.

You said they could guard it closely.

They could guard it carefully.

You said they could guard it warily.

Now, warily means that they're really on guard.

They're really looking out to make sure that no one's going to come in to steal it, they're concerned, warily.

So, oh, I think I'm going to use, I think I'm going to use closely for my sentence.

They really watch it closely, don't they? We know that they never blink.

So that's going to be my choice.

Now remember, jot some ideas down, you might like some of these, or you might have some different ideas of your own.

So, colossal, fierce fire giants guarded it closely.

Then I need a full stop at the end of my sentence, don't I? So, now I'm going to say something else about what they look like, what we can see and I'm going to talk about their hands and their legs.

So, we know they had hands as big as mountains, They had hands as big as mountains and tell me about their legs, well done and legs as long as rivers.

I really liked that description of them because it makes me really picture how huge they are.

They had hands as big as mountains and legs as long as rivers.

Now let's talk about what Coyote can smell.

What can he smell? What can he smell? Go on give me your ideas.

What can he smell? Oh, fantastic.

I'm going to write some of those down.

I heard you say that he can smell dusty smoke, dusty smoke.

I heard you say that he can smell burning, so the smell of burning.

And I heard you also say that he can smell thick, thick smoke.

So we've got dusty smoke, burning smell, alright smell, burning smell and thick smoke.

Those are the things that he can smell now, you might be jotting down those ideas, you might have different ideas of your own.

My sentence is going to be, dusty smoke filled Coyote's nose.

So I'm going to start with the smell.

Dusty smoke, dusty smoke filled Coyote's nose, filled Coyote's nose.

And again, the bits in purple show where you can change the writing to make it your own.

You might want to change more of it.

Dusty smoke filled Coyote's nose.

Now then, let's talk about what he feels.

What can he feel? Go on, tell me your ideas.

What can Coyote feel at this point? Oh, brilliant.

Lots of great ideas.

So I heard you say you can feel sweat drip down his face, sweat drip down his face.

That shows that he's really hot.

I also heard you say that he can feel the burning heat, burning heat beat down on his fur, beat down on his fur.

I've added the verb "beat" there because it makes it sound like it's never ending a bit like a drum, really powerful, hard burning heat beat down on his fur.

And I also heard you say that he could feel his lips cracking, his lips cracking.

So, I would like you to make sure, you can't see that, can you? There we go.

I would like you to make sure that you're jotting down either some of these ideas, or your own.

So my sentence is going to be, he felt he felt, now I think I'm going to choose, he felt sweat dripped down his face.

I liked that because it shows me how hot he is.

He felt sweat drip down his face.

You might like that idea, or a different idea for your piece of writing.

I'm actually going to add something else about how he feels.

I like this idea too, burning heat beat down on his fur.

So I'm going to write that too.

The burning heat beat down on his fur.

So I'm going to have two sentences about what he could feel.

Beat down on his fur Actually, I'm going to add one more.

I'm going to say what it felt like.

I'm going to write now.

It felt like being in an oven.

It felt like being in an oven.

It felt like big in an oven.

That's how hot it was.

So, that is all I'm going to write with your help today.

So let's read it back, shall we? Coyote peeped out from behind a bush.

He saw that the sun was a scorching, blazing ball of fire.

Colossal, fierce fire giants guarded it closely.

They have hands as big as mountains and legs as long as rivers.

Dusty smoke filled Coyote's nose.

He felt sweat drip down his face.

The burning heat beat down on his fur.

It felt like being in an oven.

Now it's your turn to write this scene in the story.

There are the ideas that I jotted down as we were writing today.

You might like to have a look at those to help you.

You've probably got your own ideas too.

Remember to use the toolkit.

Pause the video now and write that scene.

So like great writers, we are now going to read back our writing and think about what we've done well and if there's anything that we could do to improve it even further.

So you might like to read along with me.

Coyote peeped out from behind a bush.

He saw that the sun was a scorching, blazing ball of fire.

Colossal, fierce fire giants guarded it closely.

They have hands as big as mountains and legs as long as rivers Dusty smoke filled Coyote's nose.

He felt sweat drip down his face.

The burning heat beat down on his fur.

It felt like being in an oven.

So, what do you think? Have we described the scene clearly? I think we've done a brilliant job and we've used lots of things from our toolkit.

So let's have a look at what we've used from our toolkit to show what we've done well.

So, we have used the senses a lot, haven't we? So, I've already put a tick next to the sense of sight.

We've shown a lot of things about what Coyote can see.

We have shown that he saw the sun was a scorching, blazing ball of fire, he can see the colossal, fierce fire giants guarding it closely.

Their hands as big as mountains, legs as long as rivers.

So you mentioned a lot of things about what can be seen.

Now we also, have used the sense of smell, haven't we? Dusty smoke fills Coyote's his nose.

That's what he can smell, so I'm going to put a tick there.

Now I haven't got tastes, have I? But, I have definitely used the sense of what can be felt.

So, let's have a look.

He felt sweat drip down his face.

That's what he can feel.

The burning heat beat down on his fur.

So he could feel the burning heat beating down on his fur too.

It felt like being in an oven.

So, I've definitely used the sense of what can be felt, put a tick there.

Now character reaction.

Let's have a look, have we got character reaction in there? We have, haven't we? Because we've said the end here is more about what he can feel.

He felt sweat drip down his face.

It felt like being in oven.

Character reaction, I think is mostly this sentence here, he felt sweat drip down his face, so I can put a tick next to that.

Adjectives and adverbs.

Now let's have a look.

Where are the adjectives that I've used? I've used lots of adjectives today, haven't I? Scorching, blazing, colossal and fierce to describe the fire giants.

I have used the word dusty to describe the smoke and the adjective burning to describe the heat.

So lots of objectives.

I can definitely put a tick there and adverbs, have I used any adverbs today? I've used the adverb closely, haven't I?, Closely, to show how the fire giants guard the sun.

They guarded it closely, so I can put a tick there too.

Now then, I would like to do something to improve my work actually.

I'm really happy with it and remember, I don't need to include everything from my toolkit, but I would like to add one more sense.

I would like to add a sentence about what we can here.

So I'm going to write that now.

My sentence is going to be, "Brother, I'm hungry," shouted a booming voice.

So I want to add that to show what we can hear in that scene.

So, we have to do it in purple because you might like to add something about what you can hear too.

Now it might be the same as mine, it might be something different.

So, I'm going to open inverted commas before he starts speaking.

"Brother, I'm hungry, I'm hungry.

Oh no, not full stop cause I haven't finished writing that sentence yet.

"Brother, I'm hungry, comma instead of full stop.

Now, I'm going to close my inverted commas because he stops speaking now.

"Brother, I'm hungry," shouted, shouted a booming voice, a booming voice, a booming voice.

So that is my sentence that I've added to show what can be heard.

Now like I said, you might like to add a sentence of your own to show what can be heard and you can always look back at your sensory grid because we jotted down some things that didn't read about sounds that we could hear.

So let's just read my finished piece of writing that you've helped me with all the way through now.

Coyote peeped out from behind a bush.

He saw that the sun was a scorching, blazing ball of fire.

Colossal, fierce fire giants guarded it closely.

They had hands as big as mountains and legs as long as rivers, Dusty smoke fills Coyote's nose He felt sweat drip down his face.

The burning heat beat down on his fur.

It felt like being in an oven.

"Brother, I'm hungry," shouted a booming voice.

And now that you've seen me reread and edit my work, I would like you to do the same for yours.

So read your writing back through and check off all the things that you have done well in the toolkit.

Have a think about if there's anything you would like to add.

For example, you might like to add a sentence like I did about what can be heard in that scene.

And then five finger check your work, to check for punctuation, spelling and that your writing makes sense.

So, pause the video now and do that.

Fantastic efforts with your writing today.

I'm so proud of you and I cannot wait to read your writing at the end of this unit.

Now make sure you join me in lesson ten, because we are going to be writing a really exciting scene.

We are going to be writing a chase scene.

So I will see you then.

Until then, keep telling stories.

Bye.