Lesson video

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Hello everyone, my name is Miss Barron.

Now in today's lesson, we are going to carry on writing our new stories.

We are going to be writing about the journey to the place that our helpers need to go to, to get back the object that's missing from the world.

And then we're going to write about what's happens when they get there.

So some really exciting, dramatic scenes today.

So I thought we'd start by singing our song verses about the journey moment in our stories.

Now we're going to sing my song verse about the journey underground in my story first and then you can pause the video and sing your song about the journey moment in your stories.

So we're going to sing my song verse twice.

Are you ready? Join in as soon as you can.

♪ I see a deep dark hole.

♪ ♪ I smell the earthy soil.

♪ ♪ I hear the animals digging.

♪ ♪ That's how we describe it.

♪ Brilliant job, let's sing it one more time.

♪ I see a deep dark hole.

♪ ♪ I smell the earthy soil.

♪ ♪ I hear the animals digging.

♪ ♪ That's how we describe it.

♪ Brilliant job, well done for joining in with me.

So now I would like you to pause the video and have a go at singing your song verse about the journey moment in your story.

Remember thinking about what we can see, hear, smell, taste, feel, whatever it is that you wrote in your song verse when we wrote it in lesson three together.

So pause the video now and have a go at singing your song verse for that moment, if you would like to.

So as you know, in today's lesson we are going to be writing the middle of our recycled stories.

So this is what the lesson is going to look like.

First, we are going to do a quick spelling activity.

Then we are going to recap the section of the story that we are going to write today.

We're then going to come up with some ideas for our writing.

We're going to do some shared writing together and then it's going to be your turn to do some independent writing.

So in this lesson, you will need; an exercise book or a piece of paper, a pencil to write with and your boxing-up grid from lesson six, if you have it still.

So pause the video now and go and get those things if you need to.

Brilliant job, you are back and ready to begin the learning today.

So we are going to begin with our spelling activity.

Let's take a look.

We know at the moment that we are learning how to spell words, which have the or sound, spelled A before L or double L.

So let's just take a look at those words in the pink boxes.

Read them with me; all, called, ball, small, fall, wall.

Now have a look at those words, have a close look now.

What do you notice about what those words have in common? Have a look at the spelling of them, what do they all have in common? Go on, tell me to your screen now, say; I noticed that they all, tell me to your screen.

Fantastic, well spotted.

You noticed that they all have the or sound but it's spelled A before double L in these words.

So that is the rule that we are practising today.

When we have the or sound, spelled with A before double L.

So before we practise spelling them, let's have a go at putting them into some story sentences of our own.

So here's my example; the wall of the cave was wet and slimy.

So I'm imagining what angry story bat's cave is like underground.

So I would like you to pause the video now and have a go at putting our spelling words today, into story sentences of your own.

So pause the video and have a go at that.

Brilliant job, you're back.

Go on, tell me your favourite sentence then.

What's your favourite story sentence using one of those words, tell me to your screen? I'm hearing some brilliant creative story sentences there.

I heard somebody say; they all worked hard together as a team.

I heard somebody say; get back here with my sweets, the sugar plum fairy called.

I heard somebody say; this tunnel is too small for us to get down.

Brilliant sentences, so now let's have a look at spelling those words.

Now we know that we can't sound these words out.

These are tricky words, so we just have to learn them, don't we? So we're going to practise using our; look, cover, write, check, strategy, to spell them.

So you are going to take each word at a time.

You are going to look at it carefully.

You are going to cover it up.

You're then going to write it down three times, just like you can see I've done on the screen.

Then you're going to uncover the words and you're going to check it.

And at that moment, you can correct any mistakes you may have made or you can decide whether you might like to carry on spelling that word a few more times until you feel really confident with it.

So remember these words come up all the time.

It's really important that we learn how to spell them.

So pause the video now and practise spelling those words.

Brilliant job on your spelling.

So now we're going to move on to the main part of our lesson today.

Let's start by recapping the section of the story that we are going to write.

So these are the scenes that we are going to write about today; the journey to the place where the object is hidden, the helper going in and taking the object and then the guardian seeing the helper do that and begin to chase them away.

So listen to me retell those sections for my story and then it's going to be your turn to do it for your story.

They dug deeper and deeper, underground.

I'm so tired, said sister rabbit.

I'll help, replied brother badger.

He dug deeper and deeper with his strong, sharp claws.

The animals could all smell the earthy soil.

They could taste the dampness of it in their mouths.

Finally, they reached the underground story cave.

It sparkled with stories.

Hummingbird dashed in and snatched the stories.

She could hear the squawking of story bat and hear the flapping of his wings.

She turned and saw his red, glaring eyes staring at her.

She saw his huge black wings and she ran.

So that is me telling that middle section of my story.

Now I would like you to have a go at telling those scenes of your story, really trying to add some detail about what you can see, hear, smell, taste and feel in those moments.

So have a go at that.

Pause the video now and do that.

Fantastic job retelling those scenes in your story.

Now we are going to come up with some ideas for our writing to help us today.

So today we are going to be writing these sections of our stories.

Now then, make sure you've got your boxing-up grid with you if you still have it, it's really useful.

You can see that I'm going to be definitely using mine to help me today.

So we are going to be writing about the journey there, the journey to the place to get the missing object.

So in my story, that is the journey deep underground to the underground story cave.

And then we are going to be writing this really exciting, dramatic section when, whoever your main helper is, takes the object that's missing.

So these sections are the ones we will write today.

If you have got your boxing-up grid with you, you will see that you've got some notes here that will be really useful for you.

So I'm just going to pop that to the side.

Now, I'm not going to get you to help me with my sensory grid today, just because these scenes in your stories are probably going to be quite different to mine now.

The opening was the same, all of the humans in the world were suffering because of the problem, because of something being missing.

So that was similar in all of our stories, but this section is going to be very different, depending on what your problem was and where they have to go to get it and who guards the object that's missing.

So I'm just going to talk you through my sensory grid.

Now today, I want to use all of the senses.

So in those scenes, this is what I think you can see.

I think you can see a deep, dark tunnel, strong, sharp claws digging.

When they get to the cave, they see it sparkling with stories and of course, when they enter it, they find angry story bat.

And we're definitely going to describe our guardian in a bit more detail in terms of what they look like.

Now then, what can be heard in these sections? Well, I think the animal shouting; keep digging! Those kinds of encouraging shouts and then angry story bat shouting things like; go away.

These are my stories, who dares to steal my stories? Now then, what can be tasted and smelled? Well, they're underground.

So that is how they need to get to the story cave, isn't it? It's deep underground, so as they dig deeper and deeper, I think they are going to be able to taste and smell the damp soil, the earthy the soil and the musty smell of it.

Because remember musty, that's what happens if there's not been any fresh air in a place for a long time, we can describe it as musty.

And then, what can they feel? Well, I think it feels cold down there.

I think they feel fear, so this is an emotion that they can feel now.

I think when they enter the cave, they can feel the wet, slimy cave walls and they can feel the glaring, red eyes of angry bat staring at them.

So it's now your turn to create your sensory grid to come up with some ideas about what could be seen, heard, smelled, tasted and felt at those key moments in your story.

So pause the video now and do that.

Now it's time for our shared writing.

So let me just show you the planning tools that I have got with me to help me today.

I've got my boxing up-grid.

Now I know that I'm going to be writing these two sections today, so I'm going to keep this next to me to remind me what I'm going to be writing.

I can use the pictures and these words to help me.

So I'm going to pop that to the side.

I want you to do the same thing.

And I've got my sensory grid, full of fantastic ideas that we came up with to help me in my writing.

Again, I want you to make sure that you can see yours, it's going to be really useful.

So I'm just going to pop that to the side too.

Now then, take a look at my piece of paper.

I would like you to make sure that you have got your toolkit written down, either on the side of your page like me or on a separate piece of paper to the side of you.

So let's just remind ourselves of the things in our toolkit that we need to do to make our description vivid in our writing today.

We know that we need to use the senses.

We know that we need to show character reaction and we know that we need to use adjectives and adverbs to help the reader picture really clearly what's happening.

We might also want to use some expanded noun phrases too.

Now you can see here, that I've got a box for my ideas so that I can jot ideas down as I go to help me.

You need a box where you can do that too.

So I would like you now to make sure you've got your toolkit written somewhere where you can see it and a box where you can jot down your ideas, either to the side like me or like I said, on a separate piece of paper next to you.

Pause the video and do that.

Amazing job, so now we are ready to start writing.

So as we go today, I'm going to be coming up with some ideas with your help and I would like you to be jotting down the ideas that you like for your piece of writing in your ideas box.

So let's get straight into the action.

I'm going to have a sentence to show what I can see the animals doing to get to the place where the object is hidden.

So my sentence is going to be; they dug deeper and deeper into the ground.

Now let's jot down some ideas here.

So you might want to say; dug deeper and deeper if where your animals are going, is also underground.

You might want to use; climbed higher and higher.

That's another option if your animals are on a journey into the sky or into the clouds.

Climbed higher and higher.

Or you might want to choose; trekked further and further.

Now to trek is to walk long distances.

So if they're going a long way, you might choose this phrase trekked further and further.

So I would like you to choose one of those phrases or you might have a different idea of your own and jot it down in your ideas box so that you can use it when you come to write.

My sentence is going to be; they dug deeper and deeper.

So capital letter to start my sentence, they dug deeper and deeper.

Now I want to say where they're digging deeper and deeper.

I haven't finished my sentence yet.

So in my story, it's going to be into the ground.

But in your story, it might be up the mountains.

So I'm going to jot that idea down.

It might be into the sky or into the clouds.

So again, choose which one is right for your story.

So they dug deeper and deeper into the ground.

Maybe they're going up the mountains, you might've chosen; they climbed higher and higher up the mountains.

Or maybe they climbed higher and higher into the sky clouds.

You could choose; they trekked further and further over the mountains, perhaps.

So you decide which idea you like for your story and jot it down in your ideas box.

My sentence is going to be; they dug deeper and deeper into the ground, full stop.

Now my next sentence, I'm going to hear something that one of the animals says.

So let me have a think, I think I want sister rabbit to say; I'm so tired! We're going to show how hard it is for them.

So, I'm so tired, sister rabbit said.

Now what else do you think an animal could say at this point on the journey? It's a long, tiring journey, what could they say? Go on, tell me some ideas to the screen.

Brilliant job, so we could have, like in my story, I am so tired but you've said we could have; I can't go any further.

I can't go any further, great idea.

You also suggested that we could have; who can take over? Who can take over, and that's a question, isn't it? So it needs a question Mark at the end.

So you might like one of those ideas for your story.

If you do, jot it down.

So I'm going to write; I'm so tired.

Open inverted commas before the character starts speaking.

I'm so tired.

Comma, close inverted commas, the character has stopped speaking now.

I'm so tired, sister rabbit said.

Sister rabbit has capital letters because it's her name.

Sister rabbit said, now let's have an adverb here.

Look, we need adverbs don't we? And that's from our toolkit.

So how could she say that? Go on, give me some ideas, how could she say that? Oh, what fantastic adverbs you've just come up with.

I heard you say; wearily.

Now if you're weary, you're really tired.

So she might say that wearily, have a look at how it's spelled.

Somebody said; desperately.

Gosh yes, I can imagine that they are feeling really desperate now.

So she might say it desperately and I heard somebody say; forlornly.

Now that is probably a new word for you.

If you're feeling forlorn, it means that you're feeling like you want to give up completely.

So she might say it wearily, desperately or forlornly.

Forlornly remember, meaning you want to give up, you've lost hope.

So which one of those do you like for your story? Jot it down, or you might have a different idea.

I'm going to choose wearily, I think, to show how tired she is.

I'm so tired, sister rabbit said, wearily full stop.

Now then, we're going to have another animal reply to that.

So in my story, brother badger is going to reply and say; let me help.

So again, this is what we can hear in that scene.

We can hear the character speaking.

Let me help.

Comma, close inverted commas, replied, brother badger and again, brother badger has capital letters because it's his name.

Now you might want one of your characters to reply something different.

Have a think about what you might like your other animal to say to help.

Now, I want to say something about what I can see, what I can see them doing in this scene.

So it's going to be about brother badger now.

I know that brother budget is an excellent digger and what can I see him doing? This is going to be my sentence; with his strong, sharp claws, he scratched and scraped at the soil.

So a capital letter, with his strong comma sharp, claws, he scratched and scraped at the soil.

Let's just read that sentence back to check it makes sense.

With his strong, sharp claws, he scratched and scraped at the soil.

Brilliant, I really love the repetition of the S in that sentence, I think it's really catchy.

So now I would like you to think about what your characters could be doing on their journey.

So maybe they're digging with strong, sharp claws.

Maybe they're climbing with big, heavy footsteps.

Maybe they are tracking through the meadows and the mountains into the sky world, just like coyote did.

So have a think and jot down an idea in your ideas box for what your characters are doing to get to the place.

Now then, I'm going to carry on.

And now they are going to find the place where the object is hidden.

So I'm going to start my sentence; soon enough.

Soon enough, you might like that sentence opener for your story.

Soon enough, comma they found they found the, now in my story it's going to be; the underground story cave, isn't it? But where is your object hidden? I wonder, let's just have a think, shall we? Go on, tell me where's your object hidden.

I'm hearing lots of different places.

So some of you had sweets missing from the world, so your object is hidden in sugar mountain.

There you go, I'm writing these words down.

Sugar mountain, some of you said that gold was missing, so it's hidden in the gold cave.

Some of you said that ice was missing, so it's hidden in the ice clouds.

Some of you said that films were missing, so those are hidden in the Hollywood mountains.

Some of you said books were missing and those are hidden in bookworm's library.

So I would like you to jot down in your ideas box, the name of the place that your characters reach to find that missing object.

So while you do that, I'm going to write my next sentence.

Soon enough, they found.

I'm not going to write my next sentence, I'm going to finish my sentence.

Soon enough, they found the underground story cave.

The underground story cave.

That is where the stories are hidden.

So let's just read that sentence back; soon enough, they found the underground story cave.

And then a full stop at the end of my sentence.

Now I want to describe what the cave looks like.

So I'm going to write a sentence about what we can see now.

So my sentence is going to be; the cave sparkled with stories.

The cave sparkled with stories.

And I want you to think about what your place looks like.

So what does sugar mountain look like? What does the gold cave look like? What does the ice cloud look like? The Hollywood mountains, bookworm's library, wherever it is that your object is hidden, what does it look like? And you're going to write a sentence here to describe it.

Now then, I'm going to have my main helper now go into the cave.

So hummingbird, into the cave and, the stories, I want your help to come up with some powerful verbs.

Hummingbird Go on then, give me some powerful verbs.

How did she go into the cave and how did she take the stories? Tell me to your screen now.

Those are fantastic, powerful verbs, well done.

I heard you say; dashed.

I heard you say; zoomed.

I heard you say; rocketed.

All of those are really fantastic verbs telling me how fast she moved.

So have a think about which one you like for your story and jot it down.