Lesson video

Hello everyone.

My name is Miss Barron and welcome to lesson seven in our recycling unit.

Now, today is a really exciting lesson because we are going to start writing our stories.

Our recycled stories that we have been working so hard on.

I can't wait to get onto that.

But before we do, I thought we might sing our song verses about the openings of our stories.

Seeing is that, is the section we are going to write today.

So I would love it if you could join in with me singing my song verse about the opening of my story and then you can pause the video and have a go at singing the song verse about the opening of your story.

So, are you ready to join in with me? I think you know it well enough now.

Let's sing it twice.

♪ I see people bored ♪ ♪ I hear people moan ♪ ♪ They seem so unhappy ♪ ♪ That's how we describe it ♪ One more time.

♪ I see people bored ♪ ♪ I hear people moan ♪ ♪ They seem so unhappy ♪ ♪ That's how we describe it ♪ Brilliant job, so reminding ourselves that we use the senses to help us describe.

Now I would like you to pause the video and have a go at singing the song verse about your opening in your story.

So pause the video and have a go at that.

So as you now know, in today's lesson, we are going to be writing the opening of our recycled stories.

So first, we are going to recap that story section.

Then we are going to come up with some ideas for our writing.

Then we're going to do some shared writing together and then you are going to have a go at some independent writing on your own.

So in this lesson you will need an exercise book or a piece of paper to write on and a pencil to write with.

Also, your boxing upgrade from lesson six, if you have it.

So pause the video now and go and get those things if you need to.

Brilliant job, you are back and ready to start the learning today.

So, let's begin by recapping the opening section of our stories.

So listen to me do it for my story first and then it's going to be your turn.

Once upon a time there were no stories in the world.

People were so unhappy.

They were bored and grumpy and argued all the time.

Constantly, they shouted at each other, "Life is so terrible.

"Why don't you just get out of my way?" They sat around doing nothing.

Their shoulders slumped frowning.

Finally Hummingbird stepped forward and said that she would help.

"I will help," she exclaimed.

Brother Budger, Sister Rabbit and Sister Fox all offered to help too.

Together they huddled around and whispered about how they could solve the problem.

So that is me telling my story opening with a bit more descriptive detail about what you can see and what you can hear in that section of the story.

I would like you to pause the video now and have a go at doing that yourself, for the opening of your story.

Now you can see that I've got my boxing upgrade with me today.

I would like you to make sure that you have yours with too.

And that's because it's full of useful pictures and words to help remind us what we are going to write today.

So we can see that we are going to write these first two boxes of our story today.

We are going to introduce the problem and introduce our helpers.

So those pictures are going to remind us what to write and these words are going to help us.

We know that we're focusing on description, so we came up with some words about what can be seen and heard at each of those key moments in our opening.

Now, I want you to keep that with you somewhere where you can see it just to the side, because what we're going to do now is we're going to take those words and develop them.

We are going to come up with more ideas about what can be seen and what can be heard.

So I'm just going to put that to the side, make sure that you do the same thing.

Now then, so let's have a think about what can be seen right at the beginning of my story when people in the world are really bored and grumpy and unhappy.

Can you give me some ideas? What do people do if they're bored? What might they do with their bodies? What kind of actions might they do? Go and tell me your ideas to the screen now.

Brilliant, yeah, I agree.

I think you're absolutely right.

I heard you say that we can see folded arms. Often people fold their arms, don't they? When they're bored.

I heard you say that we can see shrugged shoulders.

People just shrugging, not knowing what to do with themselves.

I heard you say that we can see glum faces.

Now glum means unhappy, glum faces.

We can see people alone.

So people aren't doing things together.

They're just sitting around all alone.

I also heard you say that we can see frowns, people frowning, frowns.

Now then, so those are all things that people might do if they're bored.

So what do you think we can hear then? So let's develop some more things that we can hear at that moment when people are really grumpy and moaning.

What might we hear them say? What might we hear them argue about? Go and tell me your ideas to this screen now.

Fantastic, I'm hearing some great suggestions.

So you said, first of all, that we can hear them arguing loudly.

Arguing loudly.

You said that we could hear the moaning.

And somebody came up with a great adverb, constantly.

Constantly means all the time.

Somebody said whining.

Gosh, sounds like a really horrible atmosphere, doesn't it? People arguing loudly, moaning constantly, whining, shouting somebody said.

So those are sounds that we can hear.

Now then, let's think about the helpers now.

What can we see when people offer to help? So have a think about that go and tell me your idea to this screen.

Fantastic, those are brilliant.

So we can see people stepping forward.

I'm going to just write these ideas down here because this is the second part of my opening.

So we can see animals stepping forward.

Somebody said volunteering, brilliant.

Now, volunteering means to offer help.

We can see people, I really like this idea, we can see the animals, not people, the animals huddled together.

These are the animals that offered to help the humans, aren't they? Huddled together, problem solving.

I really like that.

Problem solving as a team.

Problem solving as a team.

Working out how they're going to get down to that underground story cave.

Now you might be thinking that you could use some of these ideas for your opening of your story.

So if you are, don't worry, you're going to jot them down in a minute on your own grid.

Now, let's just think about some sounds that we can hear the animals say or it might be some things that they say, what other sounds can we hear at that moment in the story? Go and tell me to your screen now.

Brilliant, so I heard somebody say that we can hear Badger, Fox, Rabbit all say, "Let me help, "let me help." Now I'm putting these inside inverted commas because this is what is said, "Let me help." And somebody else, Hummingbirds say, "I will rescue the story." "I will rescue-- R-E-S-C-U-E spells rescue.

"I will rescue the stories." And that is what's Hummingbird, my main helper says.

Your main helper might say something similar.

And again, it goes inside inverted commas, because it's what the creature says.

It's what is being spoken.

Now, what else did you say? You said that you could hear cheers.

So the humans cheering because the animals have offered to save the day.

Fantastic, and you said clapping.

So the humans are cheering and clapping and so are the other animals because of the bravery of our helpers.

So, those are some more ideas about what can be seen and heard for the opening section of my story.

Now you're going to do this now for your story.

So now that you've helped me to make my sensory great full of lots of ideas about what can be seen and heard in my story opening, I would like you to do the same for yours.

So it's really important that you do this.

This is helping you come up with lots of really brilliant ideas that you can use when you come to write your scene today.

So pause the video and do that.

Now it's time to do some shared writing together.

Now we are ready to write the opening of our stories.

I can't wait, I'm so excited to do this.

Now then, you will see that I've got my senses grid with me here and that's because it's full of ideas that I am going to use in my writing today.

So make sure that you've got your next to you so that you can see it and use it.

And again, I've got my boxing up grid with me because that's is what is going to remind me what I'm going to write today.

So put that next to you too, somewhere where you can see it.

Now then, I would like you, first of all, before we start writing to make sure that your page looks something like mine.

So you need to make sure that you have your toolkit written.

Now that is to remind you the things that we need to do today to make sure that our description is really vivid.

So we know that we need to use the senses in our writing.

We know that we need to show character reaction and that we need to use adjectives and adverbs to help the reader picture what's going on really clearly in their imagination.

And then we need a box to jot down all of our ideas as we go along.

So, I would like you to make sure that you have your toolkit written somewhere, either on the side of your page like me or on a separate piece of paper, which you have to the side of you and you have somewhere where you are going to jot down your ideas as we go.

So pause the video and do that now.

Brilliant job, you are back and ready to begin writing.

So let's begin with a story opener.

I'm going to give you a few that you could choose from.

So have a think about which one of these you like.

I'm going to jot them down here in my ideas box.

So you decide which one you like and jot it down in your ideas box.

So you might start, once upon a time.

A classic story opener.

You might start, in the beginning.

That's how our story of Queerty started, isn't it? You might want to start with, a long time ago.

Now have a think about which one of those you like for your story.

I think I'm going to choose, in the beginning, in the beginning.

I liked that because that mirrors the story of Queerty that we learned and you know that's one of my favourite stories.

So, in the beginning-- Now, what's my whole sentence going to be before I start writing.

In the beginning, there were no stories in the world.

Now for your sentence, you're probably going to change the word stories, aren't you? It might be sweets, it might be ice, it might be gold, whatever it is that you chose for your story, that's missing from the world.

So watch me write my sentence.

In the beginning-- Capital I to start my sentence.

In the beginning-- So, in the beginning-- In the beginning, comma, there were no stories.

Now I'm going to write stories in purple because you're probably going to change that word for your stories.

So there were no stories in the world.

Now, world is quite tricky word to spell, W-O-R-L-D spells world and a full stop on the end of my sentence.

In the beginning, there were no stories in the world.

Now, I'm just going to underline, in the beginning, in purple as well, because you might want to change that for a different story opener.

Remember, instead of stories, you are going to put whatever the objective that's missing in your story.

So my next sentence is going to be about what people were like.

What were people like because there were no stories.

Go on tell me your ideas to the screen now.

Fantastic suggestions.

I heard you say that people were bored, that people were unhappy, that people were grumpy, that people were suffering, suffering.

Now, have a think about which of those adjectives you like for your story and jot them down.

I'm going to choose two of those I think for my sentence, because I want to make it really clear how unhappy they are.

So my sentence is going to be, people were bored and grumpy, that's what I'm going to say.

People were bored and grumpy.

People were bored.

Now again, I'm going to write these objects in purple, because you might want to change them for your story.

Bored and grumpy.

Full stop at the end of my sentence.

Now, I want a sentence about what we can see them doing.

So I'm going to start, they sat around.

What did they sit around doing? Go and tell me your idea to the screen now, help me out.

I'm hearing some brilliant suggestions.

So you said they sat around with glum faces.

Glum, remember meant unhappy, sad.

With glum faces, you also said they sat around, shrugging their shoulders.

Shrugging their shoulders.

Remember that came from our sensory grid, didn't it? Shrugging their shoulders and frowning.

And I heard somebody say that they sat around, lying in bed all day.

Lying in bed all day.

Now then, have a think about which one of those you like for your story.

I'm not sure that people could sit around and be lying in bed all day.

I'm going to choose, they sat around shrugging their shoulders and frowning.

You might like a different one of those ideas or you might have a different idea of your own.

Jot it down in your ideas box.

So my sentence is going to be, they sat around, they sat around, shrugging their shoulders.

And again, I'm writing this bit in purple because this is what you might change for your story.

Shrugging their shoulders and frowning.

FR-OW-N-ING, frowning, full-stop.

Brilliant, now then, what did they do? So we've said what We can see them doing.

What sounds did they make? Go on and tell me what sounds they made.

Fantastic, some pretty good suggestions again.

These are amazing, well done.

You said that they argued constantly.

Remember constantly meant, all the time.

You said that they sat around bickering.

Now, to bicker means to argue.

It's another word for arguing, bickering.

They sat around bickering all the time.

You also said, "They moaned and groaned endlessly." Moaned and groaned endlessly.

Brilliant ideas.

Now, endlessly means without end, without stopping.

So, let's have a think.

Have a think about which of those ideas you'd like for your story and jot it down, but you might have a different idea.

Now for my sentence, I think I'm going to choose, they sat around, no, we've had that opening, haven't we? They argued constantly.

I think I want that one, they argued constantly.

That really shows how unhappy they were.

How angry they were.

They argued constantly full stop.

Now, I'm going to start my next sentence, there was no laughter.

There was no laughter.

Gosh, imagine a world without any laughter.

There was no laughter.

Laughter is a tricky word to spell, L-A-U-G-H-T-E-R spells laughter.

There was no laughter, comma.

Just, what was the sound that could be heard, maybe sighs.

I'm going to jot down my ideas.

Maybe sighs, sobs, whines.

I think I'm going to say there was no laughter, just sighs.

Just sighs, you might like a different idea or we could here, "Arg." Just sighs.

Now then, one last sentence, what do they say? Let's have something that one of them says or that they say all of the time.

Go on give me your ideas.

Let's start with life is, what could life be? Imagine you're human at that moment in the story.

Oh, fantastic ideas, good job.

I'm hearing you say, life is awful, awful.

Life is terrible and life is so boring.

So boring.

Gosh, which one should I choose for my store? We have a think about which one you like to your story.

I think I'm going to choose.

Life is terrible, life is terrible.

Let's make them sound really depressed.

Really like they're suffering terribly.

So I'm going to open my inverted commas because this is what they say.

Life is terrible, life is terrible, comma, close inverted comma now because they stopped speaking that's the end of what they say.

"Life is terrible," they moaned.

Moan instead of said.

So let's read what you've helped me write so far.

Are you ready? In the beginning, there were no stories in the world.

People were bored and grumpy.

They sat around shrugging their shoulders and frowning.

They argued constantly.

There was no laughter, just sighs.

"Life is terrible, they moaned.

So, that is the first section of my opening.

So now that you've helped me write the first part of my story opening, I would like you to do the same thing.

So there are the ideas that I jotted down during our shared writing today.

You might like use those to help you.

You've also got ideas written down of your own.

So, pause the video now and write that first part of your opening scene.

So now that you've written the first part of your opening scene with some of my help, I would like you to have a go at carrying on.

So I would like you to write the second part of your opening now where you introduce your helpers.

So in my story, remember, Hummingbird is my main helper.

She steps forward and offers to help first and then three other helpers offer to help her.

So in my story, that's Brother Budger, Sister Fox and Sister Rabbit.

Now, I would like you to write that next section of your opening, thinking about what you can see and what you can hear in that scene.

So carry on now and write that section yourself.

Pause the video and have a go at that.

Now it's time to reread and edit our work like all great writers.

So let's start by reading back our writing.

Now you might like to read along with me or you might prefer to just listen to me reading.

But as we read, have a think about what things from our toolkits we have included in our writing today.

So, in the beginning there were no stories in the world.

People were bored and grumpy.

They sat around shrugging their shoulders and frowning.

They argued constantly.

There was no laughter just sighs.

"Life is terrible," they moaned.

So that is what you helped me write.

And then you went on to write a bit more on your own, didn't you? Introducing the helpers in your story and I did the same thing.

So should we read my piece of independent writing.

Here it is, let's see if you can see it.

Thankfully, heroic coming bird stepped forward.

"Hum hum hum," she sang.

"I will rescue the stories," she exclaimed.

Brother Badger, Sister Rabbit and Sister Fox all offered to help too.

So, I think that you have helped me to create a fantastic opening for my story today.

Now let's have a look at the things that we have done well from our toolkit.

So how have we used the senses? We have, haven't we? Have we show what can be seen? We definitely have, let's have a look.

We can see that there were no stories in the world that people were bored and grumpy.

They sat around and shrugging their shoulders and frowning.

We can see also further down when the helpers step forward.

So we've definitely said that we can see.

What about what we can hear.

Yes we have, haven't we? We have said that we can hear that they argued constantly.

There was no laughter just sighs.

Moans, "Life is terrible." And when the help has set forward, we can then hear Hummingbird, "Hum hum hum," she sang.

And I will rescue the stories, that's what she explained, wasn't it? So lots of things that we can hear.

Now, we haven't got anything about smell or taste, but that's okay.

We don't need to use all of them.

And we don't really have anything about feel, although from what we've written, we get a feeling of the unhappiness, don't we? And the suffering.

So, let's have a look.

So I'm going to a put a tick next to feel actually, because I think we do, we feel the unhappiness in the world.

So let's have a think about character reaction and we've got that.

We definitely have, haven't we? In fact, almost the whole thing is character reaction.

The whole thing describes how the people on earth react to the fact that there were no stories in the world.

What do they do? Well, they're bored and grumpy, they sit around shrugging and frowning, arguing constantly, moaning.

So lots of character reaction there.

And then we've got the character reaction.

We've got the character reaction of our helpers, haven't we? Who step in to save the day.

So nearly the whole thing is reaction and then adjectives and adverbs.

Let's have a hunt for our adjectives.

Can you spot them with me? Bored and grumpy to describe the people.

What else? Heroic, I've described Hummingbird as heroic, haven't I? So I've got some adjectives.

Have I got any adverbs? I have, haven't I? Here, constantly, to tell me how much they argued.

So that tells me how they argued.

They argued constantly, all the time.

So I've got adverbs too, brilliant.

So, we have done nearly everything in our toolkit which means that we have written a piece of really vivid description today.

Is there anything that I want to swap, add or delete? So, I think there is something that I want to-- I don't want to swap it.

I think I do, I want to swap, just sighs here.

So in this sentence there was no laughter, just sighs.

I want to swap, just sighs, because actually that doesn't fit with what else I've said.

I've said that they argued constantly, that they moaned, so it can't be that they've they were just sighs.

So I'm going to cross that out.

I want to swap it for, and no fun.

So I want my sentence to read, there was no laughter-- and then I'm going to cross out that comma, and no fun.

There was no laughter and no fun, full stop.

That's my new sentence.

So that is all I am going to do to edit my story today.

So now that you've seen me at my work, I would like you to do the same thing for your piece of writing.

Read it back to yourself first, check off the things that you've done well in your toolkit and then think about whether there's anything you would like to swap, add or delete.

Pause the video now and do that.

So now it's time for a challenge task if you feel like going above and beyond with your writing today.

I would like you to write one more sentence with the power of three for description.

So you're going to describe a skill, talent or quality that each of your helpers has to bring to the team.

So here's my example, Brother Badger was an excellent digger, Sister Rabbit was a fast runner and Sister Fox was very determined.

Together they made a great team.

Now that first sentence is my power of three for a description.

It's a power of three because I'm listing three things, where the Badger was an excellent digger.

Sister Rabbit was a fast runner and Sister Fox was very determined.

And those skills, talents and qualities that they have make them a great team.

So I would like you to pause the video and have a go at writing a power of three sentence of your own about your helpers in your story.

And that brings us to the end of our learning today.

Well done, a fantastic effort, to writing the opening sections of your stories.

I'm sure that your writing today is brilliant.

I look forward to reading it at the end of our unit.

Now then, I will see you for writing the next part of our story in lesson eight.

So make sure you join me then, until then keep telling stories, keep writing stories, keep making up stories, bye.