Lesson video

Hello everyone.

My name is Miss Weerasekera.

And welcome to lesson eight in our unit about the little bird who saw the forest fire.

Now in today's lesson, we're going to be using our boxing up from lesson six and all of our amazing ideas for making a dramatic middle from lesson seven, to start writing our own version of the story ourselves.

So we're going to start with the first two boxes of our boxing up.

So we'll recap that first.

We'll think about the content but then we'll think about how we can use different styles to face suspense and drama for our readers as we go through the middle of our story.

We're starting our writing today.

So you're definitely going to need a pencil or pen and a piece of paper to write on.

You're going to need your brain as well to help you create all of that amazing suspense for your readers.

If you do not have a pen or pencil or a piece of paper, pause, here and go and get it and then press play, when you're ready to go.

In today's lesson, we're going to start off by recapping our spelling activity from earlier in the unit.

We're then going to recap our story map and look at those first two boxes that we put, what we need to include, and also the mood that we chose our readers to feel.

We're going to write the first events.

I'm going to model that for you and then it's going to be your turn after each section to write independently too.

Can you remember the spelling rule that we've been looking at in this half of the unit? It was a letter that's pronounced differently to the way you would expect.

It was this one.

The s sound can be spelled with a 'c' when it comes before e, i or y.

Can you remember any of the words? Yep.

City is one, wasn't it? Cell C-E-L-L, that type of cell in your body, rather than selling in a shop fancy, as well.

Well done.

Good.

So here are some more examples that we've looked at.

Face.

The c becomes before the e so it makes that s sound, the same in space.

We talked about how bicycle and circle was strange ones 'cause they have two c's and those two c's make different sounds Bicycle.

circle.

Spicy was also odd because it had an s making that s sound as well as a c making that s sound because it comes before a y.

Little bit tricky, but we're going to get our heads wrapped around it.

So to practise today, I've taken some words and I've jumbled them up and I'm wondering if you can match them to the right words.

Okay.

So have a look at them all jumbled up and think about which words you can see there.

You can pause the video here and when you think you've spotted which jumbled up word is which, then you can press play.

Great.

Let's have a look at the answers.

Good, so the first one we had spicy, circle, space, bicycle, and face.

Well done if you manage to unjumble those.

We're now going to have a look at our boxing up from lesson six.

And we're going to focus on those first two events in the middle.

You want to think about the content and what's happening but we also want to look at the mood that we wanted to create for the reader because that's going to have a real impact on how we write our piece of writing.

So here is my boxing up that I did in lesson six and I'm just looking at my first two pictures here.

That's the only bit we're writing.

So we're going to be writing about this event, where bird comes and warns the animals about the fire, the animals start to run away and they tell the bird to come with them and I think at this point I want the readers to feel worried or concern about everyone, really, about the animals, about the bird, about forest but probably particularly starting to feel worried about the bird itself because that's our main character.

Then in the next bit, we've got the bird saying, no, I'm not going to leave with you.

I love my trees and my forest and I've got to try and stay and save it.

So, for this I want them to feel sympathy and admiration for this bird, but I think also probably, they're worried of her as well.

There's this massive forest fire, she's only a tiny bird.

Okay, so that's my recap for those first two boxes and have the content clear in my head, I have the mood I want to create in my head as well and that's going to help me with my writing.

Let's have a recap of our toolkit so we've got that fresh in our heads too.

So we know that in our middles to create this, we want to have setbacks and new events.

So the fire is one big setback but another big setback is all of the other animals running away.

So the bird has no one to help her but also in a way, the bird not going with them because if she just went with them, she would have been safe.

So we have three big setbacks just in that first two boxes.

Slowing down time to build anticipation.

This is probably something we could build in.

For example, as the bird watches all of the other animals run away, perhaps time already slowed down and we can explore that moment and what she's thinking about what will happen next.

Using vagueness and hinting and empty words, perhaps she's puzzling over, what will I do? I have to do something.

It and talk about the fire, it's getting bigger and bigger using some rhetorical questions about what the bird is imagining.

And finally, we're definitely going to have those uncertainties about what the bird thinks is right but also those animals as well.

Perhaps they consider, should we stay or should we go? And no one knows what the real or correct answer is and that builds uncertainty and drama.

And that mood of being worried or concerned that I want my readers to feel.

So what do we need to include? For the middle part of our story, we want to build tension, you want to add to mystery and include those setbacks.

So we might use our short, dramatic sentences, use our vagueness and hinting, sometimes mixing that up with our longer sentences, with a bit more detail and some really powerful vocabulary but the action that's going on the scene, it's really action packed this middle and we want to create that sense of peace and drama as well.

Okay, it's time for us to start writing those first two events.

I'm going to do it in the two sections.

So one box at a time and I'm going to show you some sentence stems that I'm going to use as well.

So for event one, here are some sentence stems we can use.

She flew up high.

Hm.

She called down to her friend.

There, we would have an adverb, frantically, however you think.

But to her friends and then what did they say.

Okay, so I'm going to model this section for you now and then you're going to have a go afterwards.

Before we start writing, let's write our unit and lesson numbers and our learning objective.

So we are in unit 16 and this is lesson eight and our learning objective is to write a middle that builds drama.

Okay, so we want to build that to drama.

Now we're going to start at the moment that the bird sees the fire.

Okay, so that's where we're going to start our middle.

Just to give us a little bit of context about what's happening.

So I'm going to start with that sentence stem that's on the slide.

She flew up high into the canopy and could see something in the distance.

Okay, so I've already used one of our toolkits.

I put something, I've been vague and I'm kind of hinting at something.

The smell of smoke was thick in the air and she could hear crackling coming from the grey smoke.

Okay, now remember I said before, when we slowed down time a little bit, we start to notice and use our sentences and really see and hear everything that's around us.

So this is a really slow moment as she notices and puts together what's happening.

Could that be a fire burning in the forest? Put some inverted commas here.

The bird thought to itself.

I have to What does she need to do? She has to potentially put it out but also might need to tell someone.

Who does she need to tell? Or he need to tell? Yeah.

I have to tell the other animals and get help.

I'm going to put both in here and get help to put it out.

Okay.

Now I'm going to use adverb here.

Frantically, loudly up to you what you want it to be.

Remember, she's going down to tell her friends.

Quickly.

Frantically, she called down to her animal friends.

There's a what's she going to say? There's a fire coming towards us.

Okay, now I would like her to ask them a question.

What does she want them to do? Does she want them to run away? No, she doesn't, does she? She wants them to help her.

So what might she say? Yeah, that's a really good idea.

Can you help me to put it out? I'm going to put at the end of my question, a question mark.

Maybe she would say, do you have any ideas? What should we do? Could be other options for that question.

Okay.

Now the final bit is just to think about what the reaction will be of the friends.

Okay, so it says, but her friends.

And remember, they're scared, they're really worried.

What do people do when they're worried? Okay, they panic, they start to run around, they start to scream.

We know in this case, they're all going to run away.

So we're going to start describing that behaviour, Which I've started.

I said, but her friends all panicked and started a rampage, running away from the fire.

Okay, now you can decide what behaviour you want.

Maybe we'll say, they started screaming and shouting, bumping into each other, trampling each other, lots of different options for how they're going to react to that fire.

But we know that the final thing we want them to have is that they move away from the fire.

They could be sprinting away, running away, whatever you would like to put there.

Great, your turn to write about that first box.

Remember we want our readers to feel worried and concerned.

So it's going to be quite pacey and faster, sped.

And it's going to be full of a bit of drama.

Pause here and then press play when you have done your first section.

Okay, now for our second box in our boxing up.

This is when the bird is going to refuse.

So we're going to have animals saying, please you've got to come with us.

And that bird explaining, no, I could never.

And I think this last bitt.

So the little bird watched as is where we're going to slow down time and we're really going to explore the uncertainties of the bird, how she's made this decision but probably she's a bit worried about it and she doesn't know what she's going to do next.

And that's going to create that worry for the reader but also that admiration and sympathy that they have to have that we want them to feel because she's being really brave.

She doesn't know what to do but she knows she's got to stay.

Okay, I'm going to model it and then it will be your turn.

Okay, now for event two, we're kind of carrying on from this bit but it's about the conversation between these animals who are leaving and the bird and her refusing to go because she wants to protect her home.

So perhaps we would have some of the animals, maybe her best friends of the animals.

You can choose what animal you want to be.

I'm going to say elephant.

The bird's best friend Elephant said, going to make inverted commas.

You must run away With us Bird.

Or what might they say? What do they think is going to happen to bird if she doesn't go with them? or you will be killed? or you'll be burnt by the fire or you will be trapped? So it's up to you what you want to put.

Or you will be burnt by the fire.

Let me do an exclamation mark.

So, quite panicked, aren't they? Now little bird is going to reply now.

Okay and she's going to say, I'm starting a new line 'cause she's a different character speaking.

No.

I could never What could she never do? Never leave? Never abandon? Up to you.

I could never abandon, I'm going to say, my home.

It's, use a contraction here with an apostrophe, the only place.

It's the only place what? Only place I know? I love? I call home? Up to you what you'd to put.

I'm going to put, it's the only place I call home and I must, what must she do? I must stay in protect it? I must do anything I can to keep it safe? I must what? I must stay and try to save it in any way I can explained the bird.

Now I'm going to have my elephant or other animal you had to reply to this, okay? So they're going to be feeling quite sad, aren't they? So let's think about what they might say.

I wish you would come with us, Bird but I understand, understand what? Understand your reasons? Your passion? I understand why you have to stay? I'LL say, understand why you must stay.

Perhaps you could also say, good luck, the elephant said, ooh, how might they say it? Sadly? Suddenly? And here I will say, said sadly, before it turned and followed the rest of the animals away from the fire.

This is the moment I would like us to really slow down time.

So we're going to put here.

So the little bird watched all of the animals disappear one by one into the trees? Into the distance? Up to you.

Into, I'd say into the trees.

Time seemed to slow as she realised she was all alone.

Now, we're going to do the uncertainty of this character.

She's going to start realising, what am I going to do? What's my plan? She's got to come up with a plan.

How can I stop this fire all by myself, question mark.

The bird thought.

Okay, now perhaps when you're trying to think of a plan, especially when you've got something like this, you might kind of look around you, okay? So, the bird looked around and saw, what's she going to see that's going to be part of her plan? Can you remember? Ooh yes, it's going to be that glittering lake, pond or river, whatever you want that body of water to be.

How could we describe it? Maybe glittering, shining, blue, whatever you want to use as an adjective, I'm going to say, saw a glittering lake and all of a sudden she what could we put here? She had an idea? She knew what to do? She knew how to save the forest? She knew how to power the fire? I would say, she had a plan.

Unless she had an idea.

Okay.

And we're leaving on a bit of a cliffhanger there, aren't we? They're not telling us what it is straight away.

So it's still being a bit vague, an idea, but don't know the idea.

And we're going to carry on with that in our next lesson.

Okay, great.

Your turn to write your second event in our middle.

Press pause here and then press play when you have done it.

Okay, now it's your turn to make sure you're really happy with the beginning of your middle.

So check through, is there anything else that you can add from our toolkit to add some more drama? Have you checked your spelling, punctuation and grammar? So make sure that that's all correct.

Remember if you read your writing out loud, sometimes that can really you to see what's missing or what mistakes you have made.

So maybe have a go at reading through what you've written out loud and then making any corrections you need to.

Pause here and then press play when you've done that.

You've done a fantastic job today at starting off your middle, full of drama.

I'm hooked and I know anyone else who reads it will be too.

I would love to actually get the chance to read it.

So if you'd like to share it, ask a parent or carer to put it on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter, tagging Oak National and using #LearnwithOak.

In our next lesson, we'll be writing the next two bits of our middle where things are going to get really exciting and juicy for the main character.

I hope to see you there.