Lesson video

Hello everybody, it is Mrs. Hardisty here again today with your English lesson.

In today's lesson, we are going to be editing, that means improving the writing that we have already done.

So we're going to do very little extra writing, and we're just going to be improving what we have already written in the last few lessons.

So when you're ready, let's start our lesson.

This is what we're going to cover in our lesson today, we're going to start with another warmup, another spelling warmup.

And then we're going to think about the purpose of editing, why we edit and what it's for.

And then we're going to practise editing together.

And then finally, you are going to do your own independent task where you are going to edit your own writing.

So for today's lesson, you will need the writing that you did with your introduction and your writing that you did where you wrote about the first stage of the honey-making process.

You need all of your explanation texts that you have written so far ready.

You also need a pencil ready to improve that writing.

So you might want to pause the video and make sure you've got all of those things ready before you carry on.

Let's start with a spelling warmup.

So, which is the correct spelling? I'm going to give you two options each time, and I'd like you to tell me which one is the correct spelling.

So I've got two different spellings of enzyme, we have already looked at this, you should be experts at this now.

Point to the one at which is correct in three, two, one, and go.

It's this one because it's spelled with a Y in the middle of the word.

Okay, how about these two? Again, we've looked at these and you should be really familiar with this, which is the correct spelling here? And show me in three, point to it, two, one, which one is it? Well done, it's spelled with an ar at the end, not an er.

Okay, what about these two? Spelling of the word process, which one looks correct? Which one is it in three, two, one.

Point to it.

It it's this one that's got a C in the middle.

So that C makes the sound czz.

like in the word circle.

Often, that C making the sound starts at the beginning of a word.

In the word process it's in the middle of the word.

Okay, what about the word therefore? Which spelling is correct? Can you point to it? Look, which one looks right in three, two, one, which one is it? It's this one, and can you work out what's wrong with the other one? The problem is that they've used the word four like the number four to spell therefore.

That's not right for this word, so it's F-O-R-E at the end, not like the number four.

And then lastly, we've looked at this one before, so you should be real experts at this, which one is correct? Three, one, one, point to it.

Why is the other one wrong? It's because it doesn't have that H at the end, remember, stomach has an H at the end.

So again, today, think now about the purpose of editing, why we edit and what it is, what it is for.

So editing is the process of making any necessary changes to a text or video.

When you edit, you decide what will stay and what will be changed.

It's a really difficult skill to master because you need to know what makes really good writing and what you want to keep and what you want to might maybe change or take out and it's really hard to edit your own work.

So authors who publish books, they don't edit their own work, it's often too hard to do it with your own writing that you're so used to.

So authors normally have an editor, somebody whose job it is to read through, check for any mistakes and help them improve their writing.

But you are going to be your own editors today.

And that can be harder when you're so familiar with your own writing, but I know you're going to do a brilliant job.

So what does an editor do? An editor goes through a writer's work and checks for mistakes and makes improvements.

Every author, as I said, needs an editor.

We should always remember that our first draught of our writing shouldn't be our final draught.

So we've already done some writing in this unit, we already started writing our explanation text, but that's not the finished project.

We always need to go back and edit to improve it.

So why do we need to edit? See what you can notice here.

The bee flaps it's wings.

I can spot a mistake, can you? There's an error with an apostrophe.

What is it? That's right, there shouldn't be an apostrophe and by spotting this mistake, we changed the whole meaning of the sentence.

Because at the moment the sentence says, the bee flaps it is wings.

And so your reader will get very confused if there's a mistake in there that hasn't been edited and changed.

And so it's really important to make sure that we edit out any mistakes so that our reader understands everything that we have written.

So now it should read the bee flaps its wings 'cause remember that rule when we're showing possession of the word it, we don't have an apostrophe.

So editing involves two stages: correcting, so making sure there aren't any mistakes, and then improving, making your writing even better.

Correcting can often involve these things.

So any spellings that are incorrect, any punctuation that is missing often, and then any missing words, we might have been writing really quickly and not written our full sentence.

And then once we've done that, we can then improve our work and improving often means adding things to our writing.

So we might want to add adjectives.

So you might've written this creature and then you could add in an adjective to help your reader imagine it better.

It might be that your sentences all start in a very similar way and you want to add in some different sentence starters, like adverbial phrases or sequencing conjunctions.

It might be that you have forgotten to start some of your sentence with causal conjunctions.

Or it might be that a lot of your writing are just simple sentences and what you want to do now is extend those sentences.

So using some conjunctions to turn them into compound sentences, or you might even be able to turn it into a complex sentence.

So editing involves two stages, correcting and improving.

What are the two things? Can you tell me? Well done.

So we're going to have a go now at practising editing with some of the work that I've done.

So I have intentionally got some mistakes and some errors in this and you're going to try and spot them and improve it.

Okay, so I am going to read this out to you first.

Have you ever wondered how honey bees make the delicious thick honey that humans eat? This explanation text will guide through the fascinating, surprising process of honey making.

Did you know that bees use their excellent colour vision to find flowers? Read on to find out more.

So I think you probably have already spotted some mistakes, some things that are missing, some spelling errors, and you might already have an idea of how you could improve it, what you could add to it to make it even better.

So I would like you to do now is pause the video and slowly read through my example and see how many errors, how many mistakes you can spot and see if you know what to do to change that to make it better and see if there's anything else that you would want to improve it by adding to it.

So pause the video now and see what you can find.

Right, I'm sure you've got some ideas, let's see what I thought.

So I spotted that in the first sentence, unfortunately, I had written honey incorrectly because I'd forgotten to add the E in before the Y.

So you can see how I've edited it is I have drawn a really neat line through the mistake, we don't ever scribble, we don't rub out, we just write one neat line through it, and then above it, I have written in neatly the correct spelling.

I also had a lovely expanded noun phrase, delicious, thick honey, but sadly, I have forgotten that in between those adjectives, I need a comma.

So I have drawn in a comma.

And then finally, did you spot in this first sentence it was a question, but I had only used a full stop at the end.

So now I have written a question mark at the end.

Alright, let's look at the next sentence.

So I can see straight away that I had forgotten to start my sentence with a capital letter, even after a question mark or an exclamation mark, we still always start our sentence with a capital letter.

So again, I have neatly crossed out the small letter and I have replaced it with a capital letter for the word this, and then did you notice, as I was reading it out, oh, I had a missing word.

So I had written this explanation text will guide through and I had forgotten the word you.

So you can see here that I have added that in.

This explanation text will guide you, I've added in my missing word.

And then oh dear again, I've got my expanded noun phrase, my EMP, fascinating, surprising process, but I hadn't got that comma in between the two adjectives, so I added it in there.

Let's look at the next sentence.

So here I have corrected the spelling mistake.

I had written the word there, like in the sentence over there, ERE, but remember this word was showing that their colour vision belongs to them and so I should have used the spelling EIR at the end of that word.

So again, I have neatly drawn out a line through that incorrect spelling, no scribbling out, and then I have written above it the correct spelling.

So that's mainly just correcting, isn't it? And I can see here in this last sentence that I've both corrected and improved.

So I had a missing capital letter and so I put that capital letter in to read on to find out more, but I thought to myself, well, that sentence is quite short.

I wonder if I can extend it so I can give more information.

So you can see here that I have now added more to the end of my sentence.

Read on to find out more about how these resourceful creatures turn nectar into sweet, golden liquid.

So I have extended my last sentence, I have improved it by adding more.

So we've had a go at editing our introduction, and now we're going to look at editing one of the main pieces of writing that we did when we were actually explaining how the honey is made.

So again, I'm going to read it through to you, and then we're going to look at how we can edit it.

When the worker bee returns to the hive, it regurgitates the honey into the mouth of another bee.

The honey goes down into the crop stomach.

It's broken down further by the enzymes inside.

After half an hour, the second day passes the honey into the mouth of another bee.

This process is repeated until the honey has become thicker.

Okay, so again, can you look through and see if you can spot any mistakes, any errors, missing punctuation, or spelling errors? And then think about how we might improve this.

Is there a way of joining two simple sentences together to form a compound sentence? Is a way of adding a different vocabulary to make it even more precise.

So can you pause the video now and again, read through really carefully and see if you can spot some of my mistakes.

Great job, let's see what I thought.

So immediately I spotted that I had missed a comma after the subordinate clause at the start of my sentence.

So when the worker bee returns to the hive, then I need a comma, and then I spotted that I had spelt regurgitate incorrectly so I have drawn a nice, neat line through it and I have written the correct spelling with the G in the middle for the gh sound correctly.

Okay, what about the next sentence? Okay so I changed a spelling error.

So I've written an H at the end of the word stomach, and then the rest of what I've done is actually just improving it rather than correcting it.

So you can see that I have crossed out the verb goes because I can use a more precise verb and instead I've written the word slips, the honey slips down into the crop stomach.

And then instead of starting my sentence with the word the, I've added in a sequence in conjunction.

So I've got the word then comma and then the rest of the sentence.

So I'm improving my work now rather than just correcting it.

Okay, so here I thought I've got two simple sentences.

The honey goes down into the crop stomach, it's broken down further by the enzymes inside, and so I thought I could join these with a conjunction to form a compound sentence.

So I've used the word and to turn it into a compound sentence and can you see also that instead of the word it's, which is both got a punctuation error and is a little bit informal, I've replaced the word it with it is and it's much more precise and formal.

So for our next sentence, oh dear, yet again I forgot that comma, so I've added that comma in after the sequencing conjunction.

And then again, I have improved by adding in an adverb.

So the second bee carefully passes the honey.

So I've added in a word to be more precise.

So it's quite simple, this process is repeated until the honey has become thicker.

So first of all, I've just added in an adjective to describe the honey, we've got loads of different adjectives to describe honey, let's make sure that we're using them.

And then I thought, why don't I try extend the end of my sentence so that it starts to link to what I'm going to write about next.

So I know the second part of my writing is going to be about when the honey goes into the honeycomb cells and all of that part.

And so, I want to kind of link now to that so I'm pointing my reader in the direction of what they're going to be reading next.

So I have added in and is ready to be stored.

It's a very simple addition to the sentence, but it helps my writing flow really nicely.

It gives it cohesion, that means it makes it all make sense and flow together so that my reader knows what's going to come next.

So my final sentence reads this process is repeated until the sweet honey has become thicker and is ready to be stored.

So now it is your turn to edit your own work.

Here is my checklist for editing.

So first of all, make sure go through slowly and check that there is no missing punctuation.

So check for capital letters, full stops, question marks, you probably don't need an exclamation mark, but if you've got a particularly fascinating fact, you might want to use an exclamation mark in there.

Make sure you've got commas between your two adjectives.

Make sure you have commas after your sequencing and causal conjunctions, and if you started any of your sentences with a subordinate clause, starting with when or as, you also need that comma.

So the first thing you need to do is read through slowly and check for any punctuation errors.

Then you need to check for your spelling errors.

And if you can, you can always use a dictionary to check if you're not quite sure.

Then you need to read out loud, so I know we can all read in our head, but can you make sure that you're actually reading it out loud because that's when you can spot if a sentence doesn't quite make sense, if you've got a missing word.

And then don't just look for the mistakes, see if you can add improvements to make your writing more ambitious.

So are there adjectives that you could add? Could you join two sentences together to form a compound sentence? Are there ways of starting your sentences in different ways? Can you add extra information at the end? So this is your checklist for editing.

I'd like you to now pause the video and edit your work from the last two lessons.

So your introduction and the first section of your writing.

Let's recap what we have done in today's lesson.

We had a warmup where we looked at our spelling errors, and then we thought about the purpose of editing, and then we thought about and we practised how to edit, to do the correcting and the improving, and then you edited your own work.

Good job, everyone.

It's really hard editing your own writing as I said earlier in the lesson, and you have done really well at improving your writing so that it's even better than what it looked like at the start of the lesson.

Fantastic.