Lesson video

Hello, and welcome to lesson 12 on our unit of The Day The Crayons Quit Persuasive Writing.

My name is Ms. Bourke and I am a teacher with the Oak Academy.

Today, we are going to be orally rehearsing, our second paragraph of our persuasive letter.

In our previous lesson, we wrote the first paragraph.

So now we are going to say aloud all of our sentences for the second paragraph before we write them down in our next lesson.

Okay.

Off we go.

Let's go through our agenda for today.

First, we will do a warmup.

Then we will look at the features of persuasive letters focusing on the second paragraph, and finally, we will orally rehearse paragraph two of our persuasive letter.

In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or some paper, a pencil, and your brain for all that thinking.

You could also find the commands and warnings that you've wrote down in the previous lesson, they might help you practise saying your sentences aloud today.

If you don't have any of those things, pause the video and go and get them now.

Okay.

Let's go.

It's time for our warmup.

Today, I would like you to correct my joining conjunctions.

I've written three sentences here, but I'm not sure I've used the correct joining conjunction.

My first sentence is, I feel incredibly tired so you don't give me a break.

I work so hard all year long, but I am exhausted.

Stop making me colour elephants and I will quit.

They don't sound right.

It sounds like the joining conjunction has made the sentence lose it's proper meaning.

I wonder if you could pause the video now and correct my joining conjunctions.

Off you go.

Really good job.

Let's go through it together.

In my first sentence, I needed to use the joint in conjunction, because I feel incredibly tired because you don't give me a break.

The reason they feel tired is that they don't have a break.

So we need to use the joining conjunction, because there.

I work so hard all year long and I am exhausted.

These are two main clauses that have the same idea.

So we join them with, and.

And our last one.

Stop making me colour elephants, or I will quit.

We've used the joining conjunction, or there to show that there is a choice.

You either stop making me call it elephants, or I will quit.

Which one will it be? Really good job.

If you chose those joining conjunctions correctly, give yourself a pat on the back and give yourself a tick for everyone that you got correct.

Well done.

Okay.

Let's have another look at that persuasive letter that I wrote and then we'll be looking at the features that we can find in paragraph two.

Here is my example of a letter that my board game has written to me.

I'd like you to read through the first paragraph, pause the video now and read through it.

Okay, well done.

Let's read through this bit together.

Dear owner, listen up.

I'm your incredibly lonely distraught board game.

Do you even remember me? Do you know how it feels to be forgotten about and left on a shelf? I feel so unloved because you never play with me anymore.

I am the saddest, most unwanted toy in the whole world.

I think you should play with me because I am much more fun than watching boring old television.

And here is my second paragraph.

I'd like you to pause the video and read through the second paragraph now.

Off you go.

Well done.

Okay, let's read through it together.

Do you remember how much fun we used to have? You used to play with me all the time, but now you only use me when it's raining.

Then, when the sun comes out, you rush outside and leave me unfinished on the table.

You are so cold hearted that you didn't even notice when the cat rudely ate one of my pieces.

Start playing with me or I will completely lose it.

If you don't take me off the shelf, I will run away and never come back.

Your upset, neglected friend Board Game.

Let's look for some persuasive features in the second paragraph of our letter.

Okay.

The first thing that we are going to look for is looking to the past.

Often when we are doing some persuasive writing, we might look to the past, look at things that have happened in the past to try and persuade the reader to change.

Can you find anything in this letter that talks about what happened in the past? Pause the video now and see if you can find it.

Okay, well done.

I wonder how you did.

Here we go.

We've got this first, this question that looks to the past, asking the reader, Do you remember how much fun we used to have? Now again, that's a rhetorical question, but it's getting the reader to think about all the good times that the board game and the reader have had together.

So that's one example of looking to the past, looking to the past with a question, and then they've expanded on that.

They've almost answered the question straight away.

You used to play with me all the time.

That also is something that happened in the past.

I can see the past tense where they used.

You used to do it, you don't anymore.

You used to play with me all the time and then they've added the joining conjunction, but to show what happens now, but, now you only use me when it's raining.

So that is how the board game has looked to the past to make the reader remember all the fun times they had together and think, "Oh, maybe I want to play with this board game again." Well done if he found that.

Next, we have our opinions and reasons.

You're going to need to skim and scan, through this writing.

Can you find an opinion what the board game thinks or feels? And the reason for that.

Pause the video now and look for some opinions and reasons in this second paragraph.

Okay, good job.

I wonder if you found them.

Here we go.

Here's the opinion.

You are so cold hearted.

You are so cold hearted.

That is the opinion.

I think that you are cold hearted.

And then the reason starting with the joining conjunction, because, because you didn't even notice when the cat rudely ate one of my pieces.

There we go.

So we have the opinion you are cold hearted and the reason backing it up because the cat ate one of the board game pieces, and I didn't even notice.

Oh, dear.

Well done if you found that opinion and reason.

Finally, we need to look for some commands and warnings.

Remember the command starts off with those imperative, bossy verbs.

They are telling the reader what to do, and the warnings warn the reader.

What will happen if the command isn't followed.

Pause the video now and see if you can find any examples of commands and warnings.

Off you go.

Okay, well done.

I hope you had a lot of fun finding those.

Those are often the fun bits to read and to write.

Let's see, first we have the command start playing with me, start playing with me.

It begins with the verb start.

So we know it's bossy, starts with that imperative verb.

And then we have our warnings.

We have one warning after our command.

Start playing with me and then the warning, or I will completely lose it.

So if you don't start playing with me, I will lose it.

That's the warning.

And then we have, if you don't take me off the shelf, so if you don't do this, the warning, I will run away and never come back.

So my command was start playing with me, and then my warnings were I will completely lose it, I will run away and never come back if you don't do these two things that I would like you to do.

Well done, if you found that command and those warnings in my writing today.

Finally, we are going to have a look for some adjectives.

Remember, those are those describing words.

Pause the video now and see what describing words you can find in my writing.

Good job.

Let's have a look.

We have unfinished to describe how they've been left on the table.

Then we have used the adjective cold hearted to describe the reader, and then finally we have described ourselves again, the board game again, at the end, trying to get the reader sympathy, the board game has described themselves as upset and neglected.

The poor board game.

That makes the reader feel really sad and sorry for them and make them want to change.

Okay.

Now it's time for us to orally rehearse our paragraph two, pretending to be, our object that we are writing.

We've written the first paragraph already, so now we are going to orally rehearse paragraph two.

This is what our plan for paragraph two will look like.

First, we are going to look to the past with the question, asking the reader if they remember something positive, and then we are going to look to the past with a but.

We used to do this, but now this is what happens.

Then you're going to give an opinion and a reason using the joining conjunctions, because or so, then you will write a command and a warning.

While you are saying your sentences aloud, any adjectives that you want to remember for your writing can be written in this word bank, can be written down in a word bank for you.

So you've got them when we complete the writing.

So first we need to look to the past with a question.

My look to the past with the question is, do you remember all the amazing, comma fun times we have shared? I have used the adjectives amazing and fun.

So I'm going to add them to my word bank so that I remember them for when I do my writing.

Do you remember all the amazing fun times we have shared? That's my question to the reader, looking to the past and reminding them.

What would your question be to your reader? You need to pause the video and say it aloud.

Starting with, do you writing down any adjectives that you use.

Off you go.

Well done.

I bet you came up with a brilliant question.

We've done the first bit.

We have looked to the past with the question.

Now we need to look to the past with a positive, something really good that happened in the past and using a but, showing what is happening now.

So our positive thing from the past and our negative thing that's happening now.

My sentence is, You used to play with me all the time.

That was great.

You used to play with me all the time, but, now you only use me on boring, rainy days.

That doesn't sound very fun.

I've also added my adjectives, boring and rainy into my word bank.

Don't forget to do that too.

Okay.

It's your turn.

Using a but to look to the past, something good that happened in the past and to show what's happening now, that's not so good.

Pause the video and say your sentence aloud now, writing down any adjectives that you use.

Okay.

Really good job.

I bet you came up with an excellent looking to the past, showing what happens, what happened in the past and what happens now to show why your object is unhappy.

There's the first two parts of our second paragraph done.

Now, we need to come up with an opinion and a reason.

So something that your object thinks or feels and why they think or feel that way.

I've come up with two to show you how you can use the because, and how you can use the so but you only need to come up with my one.

Here is mine.

I think that's my opinion, I think you are unkind, because you don't care how bored I am.

I think you are unkind, because you don't care how bored I am.

That is one opinion.

My opinion is I think you are unkind, and my reason, you don't care how bored I am.

And then next I've used the joining conjunction, so so it switches around.

My reason comes first.

I have nobody on my shelf to talk to.

So I am terribly lonely.

I am terribly lonely because I have nobody on my shelf to talk or I have nobody on my shelf to talk to, so I am terribly lonely and I have added the adjectives, unkind and lonely into my word bank so I can remember them for when I'm doing my writing.

Okay, it's your turn.

You can choose to use a because or a so.

If you really want to challenge yourself, you could do one of each, but you don't have to.

I'd like you to pause the video and give your opinion and your reason for it now.

Either using the joining conjunction, because or so.

Pause the video and say your sentence aloud.

Okay, brilliant work.

I wonder if you chose to use because or so or maybe you challenged yourself and you said one sentence using each joining conjunction.

Well, we're doing so well.

We've done our opinion and our reason.

Now we up to the really fun bit.

We get to be really bossy in this bit.

We are going to be doing our commands.

This is where we get to boss our reader around and tell them what we want.

My command is going to use the joining conjunction, or so I'm going to include a warning in my command, and I'm going to have an exclamation mark at the end of it.

So here we can see at the top, I would like you to do your command or exclamation mark.

Mine is, start playing with me immediately.

That's my command.

Start playing with me immediately.

And then, or I will really lose my temper.

I've got my command and my warning together in that sentence.

Okay.

It's your turn now.

What is your command? What is your object going to boss you into doing.

Say your command aloud now.

Really good job.

I hope you said it in a very bossy voice because our commands are very bossy.

Excellent work.

We have done our commands.

We did include a warning with our command, but we are going to write a separate warning now as well.

And we are going to start our warning, our sentence with the word if.

So telling the reader, if you don't do something, this is what will happen.

So mine is, if you don't play with me, I will run away and never come back.

Exclamation mark.

What is your sentence going to be? Well, then mine was, if you don't play with me, I will run away and never come back.

Starting with, if, what will your sentence be? Pause the video and say your sentence aloud.

Brilliant work.

Well, we're done.

Well done.

We have completed a warmup, we have looked at the features of persuasive letters focusing on paragraph two and we have orally rehearsed paragraph two of our letter.

You have achieved a lot today.

Congratulations, you have completed your lesson.

If you would like to, please share your work with a parent or a carer.

Good job.