Lesson video

Hello, and welcome to lesson 11 of our unit On the Day the Crayons Quit, persuasive writing.

My name is Ms. Bourke and I am a teacher with the Oak Academy.

I'm very, very excited about our lesson today because we are finally going to write our first paragraph of our persuasive letter, pretending to be an object that we own that we came up with earlier in this unit.

You're finally going to be writing the letter from them.

So let's get started.

Let's go through our agenda for today.

First, we will do a warmup.

Next, we will recap the features of persuasive letters.

Then we will look at our steps for success.

And finally, we will complete our task, which is to write paragraph one of our persuasive letter.

In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or some paper, a pencil, your brain for all that thinking, and any notes that you have made in previous lessons or anything you've written down in previous lessons like commands, warnings, rhetorical questions that you might find useful today.

If you don't have those things, pause the video and go and get them now.

Okay.

Let's get started with our warmup.

We are going to be doing some acting in our warmup today, or some freeze framing.

We're going to be choosing an emotion and freezing like that.

So let's act out some of the emotions our objects that we have chosen to write about today might be feeling.

First we have anger.

Everybody show me with your body how you might show somebody you are angry.

That's my angry face.

I wonder what yours looks like.

Then we have sadness.

Really good job.

Next, embarrassment.

Oh, I don't like feeling embarrassed.

My checks go bright red.

I wonder what yours do.

I might try and cover my checks if I'm embarrassed.

So I might go like this or maybe that looked a little bit scared.

So maybe if I'm embarrassed, I might look like this.

A little bit sheepish.

I wonder how you showed embarrassment.

Then we have deflated.

Just like our beige crayon.

Good job.

And finally, our last emotion to act out.

We have delighted.

Delighted is another word that means happy.

It means you're really, really happy.

So show me how you are happy.

Oh, you're delighted.

Really good job.

Excellent acting today.

Okay.

Let's take another look at some of those features of persuasive letters.

Here is my example letter written from my board game to me.

I'm going to read it aloud for you now.

Dear owner, listen up.

I'm your incredibly lonely, distraught board game.

Do you even remember me? Do you know how it feels to be forgotten about and left on a shelf? I feel so unloved because you never play with me anymore.

I am the saddest, most unwanted toy in the world.

In the whole world.

I think you should play with me because I am much more fun than watching boring, old television.

Do you remember how much fun we used to have? You used to play with me all the time, but now you only use me when it's raining.

Then when the sun comes out, you rush outside and leave me unfinished on the table.

You are so cold hearted that you didn't even notice when the cat rudely ate one of my pieces.

Start playing with me or I will completely lose it.

If you don't take me off the shelf, I will run away and never come back.

Your upset, neglected friend, board game.

Now that's my whole letter.

We are just writing the first paragraph today.

So just looking at this bit of the letter.

So here is the first paragraph of my letter.

I would like you to see what features you can find thinking about those features we know are in persuasive letters.

Adjectives, rhetorical questions, opinions and reasons, feelings and reasons.

See if you can find any of those features now.

Pause the video, read through and identify those features in my first paragraph of this letter.

Okay, excellent job.

I wonder how many you managed to find.

Let's have a look.

Firstly, I found some adjectives.

I found lonely, distraught, unloved, saddest, unwanted, fun, boring, old.

Lots and lots of adjectives in my letter, in my first paragraph.

Then we have those rhetorical questions.

The questions that don't really need to be answered or that we're not expecting to be answered.

We have do you even remember me? Do you know how it feels to be forgotten about and left on a shelf? Those are my rhetorical questions.

Trying to get the reader to agree with me, trying to persuade the reader.

Then I've got some opinion.

My first one is a feeling.

I feel so unloved.

And then the reason starting with the joining conjunction, because, because you never play with me anymore.

And then my second opinion, I think you should play with me.

And then my reason starting with the joining conjunction, because, because I am much more fun than watching a boring ,old television.

It's almost time for you to write your letter now, pretending to be your object.

So before we start, we need to go through some steps for success.

What you need to include in your writing today to make sure it is as successful as it can be.

So firstly, you need to make sure you are using your plan.

That's the most important thing.

So our plan.

First, we start with a greeting.

Then we introduce the character.

You can start with it's me.

Then you need to have one or two rhetorical questions.

You need to have a feeling and a reason and an opinion and a reason.

Don't forget as well, all of those adjectives that you wrote down in the last lesson, in your previous lesson.

You can definitely use those in your writing today.

Okay.

Our steps to success.

Number one, like we said, use your plan.

That's really important.

So we know exactly where we are up to.

You must make sure you check for capital letters and full stops.

Capital letter at the start of every sentence and a full stop or an exclamation mark, or if it's a question, a question mark, at the end of every sentence.

I would like you to make sure you are using say, write, read.

So you need to say your sentence aloud.

You need to write it down and you need to read it back to make sure there are no mistakes and to make sure it makes sense.

Then finally, when you finish writing, you should go through your work and edit and improve.

Editing any mistakes like missing capital letters and full stops and improving what language choices can you make even better.

Could you choose a more precise adjective or a more precise verb or adverb.

Today's aims. So things that I'd really like you to include in your writing today are precise adjectives to describe the character's feelings, rhetorical questions to hook the reader in and to persuade them and complex sentences using because or so to give opinions and reasons.

Okay, are you ready? It's time for our task.

You will be writing paragraph one.

Only paragraph one today.

We haven't practised paragraph two yet, just paragraph one, using the plan that we have gone through.

So don't forget to use your plan.

Let's go through it again.

You need to start with a greeting.

You need to introduce the character.

So the character you devised.

For me, it's my board game, who is your character? You need to write one or two rhetorical questions.

You need to give a feeling and a reason using because or so, and an opinion and a reason using because or so.

Okay, now we are going to do a shared write.

I am to use the plan to write the letter from my character, the board game.

I am going to start with the first two parts of my plan.

So my greeting, dear hm, and it's me hm.

In front of me, I have my notes from our previous lessons for anything that I want to include.

So you should have your notes with you as well.

So any rhetorical questions that you've already written down, any adjectives you've already written down.

If you don't have your notes, like I do, here are mine, pause the video and go and get them now.

Okay.

The first bit is really easy.

It's the greeting.

And all we need to say is dear hm.

And that's just going to be dear and your name because our objects are writing the letters to us.

So mine is going to be dear Ms. Bourke.

And I'm going to remember a capital letter M for Ms. and a capital letter B for Bourke because that's my name and they need capital letters.

Here we go.

There it is.

Dear Ms. Bourke.

After my greeting, I've got my comma.

So you need to remember your comma after your greeting as well.

Now, the first thing I need to do is introduce the character.

But before I do that, I really want to grab the reader's attention and want them to keep reading.

So I'm going to start my letter with a short command and that short command is going to be listen up.

And because it's a command, I'm going to put an exclamation mark at the end of it.

Here it is.

Ready? Listen up! I'm just going to read that quickly and make sure I'm happy with my spelling.

I am.

Listen up! Now I'm going to tell the reader who I am.

I'm going to start with it's me.

It's me.

Your incredibly distraught and lonely board game.

I'm going to say it again.

It's me.

Your incredibly distraught and lonely board game.

There it is.

I've chosen to use the adjectives distraught and lonely to describe the board game or to describe myself here.

So remembering to always include those adjectives.

I've also made board game have capital letters, a capital letter B, and a capital letter G.

Normally the words board game don't need capital letters, but this is my character's name.

So today it does.

And I've remembered my full stop at the end.

Okay.

That's the first bit.

Now it's your turn.

I would like you to write your greeting and introduce your character now.

Don't forget to use your plan and follow the steps for success and remember to think about today's aims. Pause the video and write your greeting and introduce the character now.

Okay.

Really good job.

I bet you did brilliantly.

Let's see what's next.

So here we go.

We've ticked off my plan.

We've ticked off our greeting.

We've ticked off introducing the character.

It's me.

Next, we have questions.

Now we wrote rhetorical questions in a previous lesson so I've got some of my rhetorical questions written down.

I've got my first one here.

Have you completely and utterly forgotten about me? Have you completely and utterly forgotten about me? That's my first question.

Have you completely and utterly forgotten about me? Oh! Uh oh, I've forgotten something there.

I can see.

After me, I have put a full stop, but that's a question.

What do I need to put after a question? Oh, I remember.

A question mark.

I'm going to edit that now.

There we go.

I've changed my full stop into a question mark.

Okay.

It's time for my second rhetorical question.

Now I'm going to try and write two in my letter to really challenge myself today.

And mine is going to be, I'm just going to check my notes.

Do you know what it's like to be left on a shelf? Hm.

That doesn't feel very ambitious.

I'm going to just start with do you know what it's like to be left on a.

Do you know what it's like to be left on a, I don't just want to write the word shelf.

I want to describe the shelf to make it sound worse than it is.

I want to use a bit of exaggeration.

I'm going to get up my adjective words bag and I'm going to choose some adjectives from my rehearsal when I said my sentences aloud in the previous lesson.

I'm going to choose dusty and old.

Do you know what it's like to be left on a dust comma old.

There we go, I've added my adjectives.

A dusty comma old shelf all by myself with no friends? And then I mustn't forget my question mark.

There we go.

There's the rest of my sentence.

Do you know what it's like to be left on a dusty comma old shelf all by myself with no friends? Question mark.

There are my two rhetorical questions.

Now it is your turn.

Now you need to write your two rhetorical questions in your letter.

Pause the video and do that now.

Really good job.

I hope you remembered to check for capital letters at the start of your sentence and because these are questions, for question marks at the end of your questions.

Really well done if you remembered those things.

Let's look at our plan to see what's next.

Wow, we've gotten through so much already.

We've done our greeting.

We've introduced our character.

We've done our questions.

Now we need to tell the reader how the character is feeling and explain why they are feeling that way using because.

Don't forget you wrote some of your opinions and reasons in a previous lesson.

And it might be a good idea to go and look at those notes.

Now I'm going to do the same thing.

If you don't have your notes, pause the video and get them now.

Okay, ready? Let's go.

I'm going to start my sentence with I feel.

I feel and then I'm going to use my adjective box to help me.

I'm going to choose the word, I can see it down there, neglected.

But I'm going to describe how neglected I feel.

I'm going to say I feel unbelievably neglected.

I feel unbelievably neglected because, I've got my joining conjunction because, I feel unbelievably neglected because you haven't played with me in.

Now here's where I want to use a bit more exaggeration.

I want to say you haven't played with me in years, but I'm going to write the word years in tall capital letters so that the reader, so it's really impactful for the reader.

So they can see how cross and sad I'm feeling by the fact that I haven't been played for in years.

So here's what that looks like.

And I've even put an exclamation mark at the end.

I feel unbelievably neglected because you haven't played with me in years.

I've made those letters in to be all tall capitals to make it seem almost like I'm shouting it or saying it really loudly.

Okay, it's your turn.

Now you need to write how your character is feeling starting with I feel, and don't forget your joining conjunction explaining how you feel.

I feel hm because.

Pause the video and write your feeling and the reason for that now.

Excellent job.

Making sure you're checking have you got your capital letter and have you got your full stop or your exclamation mark at the end of your sentence? Oh my goodness, we are almost finished our first paragraph.

Now all that's left to do is our opinion and reason.

Hmm.

Let's go back to our notes.

We wrote some opinions and reasons in a previous lesson.

Have a quick look.

Look through your notes and see if you can find them.

Okay.

I've got mine.

I'm going to start my sentence with, I think you should.

That's my opinion.

I'm telling the reader what I think they should do.

I think you should.

And I know what my board game thinks.

I think my board game thinks that I should play with me more.

And then I need to explain why.

I think you should play with me more because.

Why should I play with the board game more? Hmm, I'm going to go back to my adjective box.

I think you should play with me more because I am fun.

But I'm also going to say that maybe I am amazingly fun because I am amazingly fun.

Exclamation mark.

I'm going to add another reason now.

So I've added one reason.

So my opinion was, I think you should play with me more because I'm amazingly fun, but I want to add some more detail.

I want to add another reason.

I'll have a think, what other reason could I give? Why else should the board game be played with more? Hm.

Oh, I remember why.

I always hear you laughing when you use me.

I always hear you laughing when you use me.

And I'm remembering that other joining conjunction we use now.

So.

I always hear you laughing when you use me.

So.

Hm.

Oh, I know.

So you should take me off the shelf.

That's going to be the end of my sentence with another exclamation mark.

Okay.

My goodness.

I've done my opinion and reason now using joining conjunction because so you know what that means.

Now it is your turn.

Okay? It's your turn to write your final sentence or sentences of paragraph one.

Writing your opinion, what you think and why.

Pause the video and write your final sentence now.

Excellent work, really impressive.

You have written a lot today.

The most important thing to do now is read through your work.

I'm going to read through mine now, and then I'm going to spot any features I can find.

Dear Ms. Bourke, listen up.

It's me.

Your incredibly distraught and lonely board game.

Have you completely and utterly forgotten about me? Do you know what it's like to be left on a dusty old shelf all by myself with no friends? I feel unbelievably neglected because you haven't played with me in years.

I think you should play with me more because I amazingly fun.

I always hear you laughing when you use me.

So you should take me off the shelf.

I'd like you to pause the video now and read through your brilliant writing.

Off you go.

Great job.

Now I'm going to have a look and see what features of persuasive letters I can see in my writing to make sure I've been as successful as I can be.

Okay, so here we go.

I've highlighted, I've made in bold, all my capital letters, full stops, exclamation marks and question marks to make sure I've included them all.

I've also pulled out all of those adjectives.

I've used distraught, lonely, dusty, old, neglected.

Fun.

I've used two rhetorical questions.

So that's, I'm really proud of myself there for using two rhetorical questions.

And I've got my feeling and my reason and my opinion and my reasons.

So I'm going to give myself a tick for all of those things.

And you need to give yourself a tick for any features of persuasive letters that you have in your writing.

A tick for adjectives, a tick for rhetorical questions and a tick for feelings or opinions and reasons.

I'd also like you to give yourself a tick every time you've remembered a capital letter at the start of a sentence and every time you've remembered a full stop, exclamation mark, or question mark at the end of a sentence, making sure you've used question marks only at the end of your rhetorical questions.

Phew.

I don't know about you, but I feel a bit tired after all that writing, but also really proud of myself.

I hope you feel proud of yourself too.

Well done.

You have achieved so much today.

You have completed a warmup.

You have recapped the features of persuasive letters.

You have gone through some steps for success and you have completed your task writing paragraph one of your persuasive letter.

Congratulations, you have completed your lesson.

If you would like to, please share your work with a parent or a carer.