Lesson video

Hello everybody it is Mrs. Hardisty here with your English lesson.

We are going to be finishing off our explanation text today with a concluding paragraph.

So when you're ready, let's begin.

Here it's what we're going to do in today's lesson.

We are going to start by writing the last stage of a chocolate making process the moulding stage.

And then we're going to look at the purpose of a closing paragraph, what it's for.

And then we're going to read an example and then write our own closing paragraph.

So for this lesson you will need some paper and pencil and then your plan with the moulding stage on it.

Please make sure you have those things and then we can begin.

The moulding stage.

On our plan, we've got mixing and moulding together.

So I'm just going to cover up the mixing stage so we're really clear on what we're going to be writing today.

So it's when the chocolate is melted and the extra ingredients are added and then it's poured and set into different shapes.

And then we've got a different time sequence and conjunctions like finally and lastly that we really want to make sure that we're using today.

So our success criteria are very similar to the ones that we've had for our previous section.

So number one, I have used a fronted adverbial.

Number two, I have used a range of conjunctions and number three I have written in the present tense.

Now today I've already written my moulding paragraph but you can see that I've got some words and phrases missed out.

And so I'm going to it read out and then you're going to pause your video and decide which words or phrases you would put in the gaps.

So let me read.

Hmm the chocolate is melted so that it can be moulded.

Hmm the maker wants to add other ingredients such as caramel, fruit or nuts, comma they can add them now.

Hmm The chocolate is hot and liquid, it can be poured into moulds such as chocolate bars, hmm hmm et cetera.

It is then left to hmm.

The chocolate is now ready to package and send out to shops.

Okay, so some of them are full conjunctions.

Some of them are adverbials.

Some of them are just information facts.

So can you pause your video now and choose what you would put into the gaps.

Hmm I wonder if you have chasing the same words and phrases as me.

Let's take a look.

So I started my sentence with the word finally.

You might have chosen the word Lastly.

Finally the chocolate is melted so that it can be moulded.

So you could have chosen different things to start then.

For my next sentence, you have to use the word if because it's the only word that makes sense in that sentence.

If the maker wants to add other ingredients such as caramel, fruit or nuts, they can add them now.

And then again, you could only have use the word once for the next sentence to make sense.

Once the chocolate is hot and liquid it can be poured into moulds.

And then we have to finish it off by adding the other sort of shapes that the chocolate is shaped into.

So chocolate bars, eggs, bunnies, you might have thought of some other ideas of what the chocolate is formed into.

And then lastly, you needed to choose the correct verbs for that next sentence.

It is then left to cool and set.

You might just have used cool or just set but it's nice to have both of them together.

So now let's have a go at writing this section together.

I'm going to start with the word lastly instead of finally this time.

Lastly comma, the chocolate is melted.

Chocolate is melted, why I want to use the word because.

Because it needs to be liquid in order to be poured.

It needs to be liquid in order to be poured into moulds.

Let me read that through.

Lastly, comma the chocolate is melted comma, because it needs to be liquid in order to be poured into moulds.

And then I can say that the ingredients are added while it's still melted.

So I could start with while.

While the chocolate is still.

Now instead of using melted, I could use a word molten which is a synonym means the same thing.

Is still molten comma, because this is a subordinate clause.

Additional ingredients, am going to write can be added rather than are added because they're not always added at this stage.

Can be added.

Why didn't I use some brackets to list them? So I'm going to open up my brackets.

Now what can be added at this stage? Can you remember? So we've got fruit comma, what else? Nuts.

What else? Caramel and flavouring.

And then I close my brackets and then it's the end of my sentence I need to write a full stop, okay.

So now I can talk about it being poured into the moulds to create the shape.

So after this how is it poured? It is carefully, it is accurately, it is poured accurately into moulds to what? To create different shapes.

Okay and then because it's still warm at this stage, it needs to cool, doesn't it? It needs to set.

It now left to cool and set.

Maybe here I can use the word finally.

Finally, the chocolate is what is.

How is it packaged? It is carefully packaged and sent to the shops.

Alright, I'm going to read through those last few sentences.

After this comma, it is poured accurately into moulds to create different shapes.

It is now left to cool and set.

Finally the chocolate is carefully packaged and sent to the shops.

Wonderful.

So can you now pause your video and write your own moulding paragraph.

Because this is our last lesson and we're not going to have an editing lesson after this, let's just take a little bit of time now to just check through and make sure that we have included everything.

So can you look through your work and check that you have used a fronted adverbial.

If you haven't, see if you can add one in.

Have you used a range of conjunctions like however or In addition.

Make sure you have add one in if you haven't.

And then just double check those tenses make sure that you have written them in the present tense.

So now let's think about our closing paragraph.

So what is a closing paragraph for? A closing paragraph should do these things.

Sums up everything your reader has learnt.

That helps them consider the really important points because they read through much it helps them really think about what was really important.

And it can also give some additional information not too much, but just a little bit of additional information.

So here is an example that I have written.

And as I read it, see if you can pick out how I have summed up all the different stages for my reader and give it a little bit of additional information.

The chocolate that we consume every day therefore involves so many different people and processes.

These include the growers, who skillfully harvest the pods and beans, and the factory workers who turn the beans into chocolate.

Finished boxes of chocolates and bars are shipped all around the world.

They are particularly popular during celebrations such as how Hanukkah, Easter and Halloween.

Next time you eat some chocolate, think about all the different hands and machines that have helped to make it.

Did you spot the actual information? It was that little sentence about Hanukkah, Easter and Halloween.

So I told my reader something more about chocolate.

The rest of it was just summing up in general information, all the different people and processes.

So let's form this now into our checklist for success, our success criteria.

Number one, I have summed up the different stages.

Number two, I have listed the different people involved in making chocolate.

And number three, I've included an additional fact you're very welcome to steal the one about Halloween, Easter and Hanukkah.

So let's now write our own concluding paragraphs.

I've started my sentence already.

The chocolate that we consume every day is what is made, is produced I like that one, which one would you choose? Is produced by different people and involves different processes.

Could I add some additives to make that more precise, so is produced by many different.

How about skilled people, is produced by many different skilled people and it involves different processes, how about buried and technical processes.

Lovely.

Let me put that.

I'm going to read through.

The chocolate that we consume every day is produced by many different skilled people and involves varied and technical processes.

Super.

So now I want to talk about who they are.

So this includes the growers.

Who else does it include? Includes the harvesters, and the factory workers.

And then what did they use? I could use a relative clause am starting with who.

So this includes the growers, harvesters, and factory workers comma, who use many different machines or a range of tools and machines oh like that one.

So who use a range of tools and machines to what? To turn the cocoa beans into chocolate.

Okay so this includes a growers, harvesters and factory workers, who use a range of tools and machines to turn the cocoa beans into chocolate.

Have I got my commas in the right place? Yeah, I've got it in my list of growers and harvesters.

And I've got it before my relative clause.

Okay, so now I want to talk about the finished chocolate.

So completed boxes of chocolates and bars are where are they sent? They are transported, they are shipped around the world.

Can I think of another word for world.

I could use Earth, I could use the globe, I like that one.

So are shipped all around the globe.

Lovely and now I can put in my extra, my additional information.

So they are especially popular during what? What were those festivals? So Easter, Halloween, and Hanukkah.

So they are especially popular during festivals such as Easter, Hanukkah and Halloween.

Okay so I think I just need one more sentence to sum it all up.

And I'm going to really address my reader here.

Now next time you eat some chocolate comma, think about who the people who have made it, the many stages that have been involved.

How about the many hands that have helped to make it.

Think about the many hands that have helped to make it.

Fantastic.

So now it is your turn to write your own concluding paragraph.

Think about your success criteria.

I have summed up the different stages, to different people, different processes, the growers and the factories.

I have listed the different people involved in making chocolate.

And I have included an additional fact.

Pause your video and right now.

I hope you have done really well with your writing.

Let's just check through the work that you have done, the kind you're going to do a little mini edit here with our success criteria to make sure that we have included everything that we need to.

So have you summed up the difference stages, so many different processes or many different stages.

Tick it off if you have done that.

Have you listed the different people.

Go through.

Have you got growers there, or harvesters or factory workers? Tick it off and have you included an additional fact if you have well done tick it off.

Well done everyone, so in today's lesson you wrote your moulding and your concluding paragraphs and you have finished your explanation text on chocolate.

Well done everyone you have done so brilliantly, and you have written such amazing explanation texts about chocolate.

So you may want to share your work with Oak National.

If you'd like to please ask your parent or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter tagging @OakNational and hashtag learn with Oak.

I really would love to see some of your brilliant work.

Well done.

Bye bye.