Lesson video

Everyone it's me Ms Webster, with you for our next writing lesson in the robin's journey units.

And today I'm particularly excited because we get to write the climax of the story.

So I hope that you're sitting somewhere comfortably and you're feeling confident and most of all, I hope you are ready to write.

In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or some paper and pencil or something else to write with, and you will need your plan that we did in our planning, at the climax lesson.

So if you haven't got everything, you need, pause the video, go and collect it, and I'll see you when you're ready.

We'll do the writing warmup.

We will prepare to write, we'll write each part of the climax and then we will finish by reading a louder paragraph.

Let's see, what's on writing warm up is, we're going to think about starting sentences in different ways.

Why might we have to do that as writers? Why might we want to start sentences in different ways? Have a little second to think about that.

I think that it helps the reader to have more detail in their mind about what happens, and it also helps them keep interested and engaged in our story.

So for example, here's a sentence the robin flew into the storm.

Okay, I've got a pretty good picture in my mind of what happened.

It's if I use this sentence starter, bravely, the robin flew into the storm.

I know a bit more about how he did that.

The word bravely is a type of adverb.

It's an adverb of manner, because it tells the reader how he did that.

So it's your turn to write a full sentence, using a different sentence starter, and you can use the questions in pink to help you.

So, number one says, when, and your sentence is, the audacious animal flew right into the storm.

So all you need to do is think about when the little robin flew into the store, When did he do that? For number two, you're going to think about where, starting a sentence with some where detail, the area thunder roared threateningly.

So where did that thunder roared? And finally for sentence three, think about how, we just had an adverb of manner in our last example, and this is the sentence that you need to write, the kind-hearted fisherman wrapped the soaking wet creature in a warm blanket.

How did he do it? Did he do it roughly, did he do it carelessly? Did he do it gently, tenderly, kindly? Okay.

Pause the video now, write your full sentences and play the video, when you done that.

Okay.

Here is some of my examples.

So for the first one, I thought we could have seconds later, the audacious animal flew right into the storm.

And that shows my reader how quickly he flew right into the storm.

We know he did it quickly because he had no choice, but to do that.

What did you write for your first sentence? What was your when starter, tell me? Well done.

when we use, when starters that's the same thing as saying, using a time conjunction.

Time conjunction, Well done.

What did you get for number two, What was your where sentence starter tell me? Okay, do you want to see mine? Mine was above the little bird.

So above the little bird, the furious thunder roared threateningly.

When we use an adverb of where, it's the same thing as saying preposition phrase.

Preposition phrase, well done.

This is what I thought for number three, I thought we could start the sentence with tenderly.

Tenderly the kind-hearted fisherman wrapped the soaking wet creature in a warm blanket.

In other words, he did that gently and kindly.

What was your sentence starter for number three? Okay, well done.

When we say somehow detail, we're talking about adverbs of manner.

So start that sentence with an adverb of manner.

So let's think about ordering the climax and getting ready to write.

First of all, let's just recap what happens in the story.

We know that in the opening, he sets off from Scandinavia and his long perilous journey.

We know that in the builder, he managed to narrowly escape being caught by that huge net sharp talent.

And in the climax, he flies over the sea and he gets very badly hurt.

But at the end, he returns home and he's reunited with his friend.

we've planned it in the opening, we've planned it in to the build up and we are writing the climax today because we already planned it.

We will watch the climax again, and you need to just think about the key moments, what words you use to write about them and of course you can add any new ideas or vocabulary to your plan view, you should have write in front of you.

Are you ready to watch? Let's very quickly recap on the order of the opening, look at your plan, what's the first thing that happens? Yep, he flew right into the storm.

Tell me the second thing that happens, look at your plan? Yeah, he got swept onto the boats by a crushing wave.

And tell me the third thing that happens in the climax.

Look at your plan? Yes, the fisherman looks after the injured robin.

So let's think about the writing skills, we will use today.

What do you want to show of in your writing? Have a moment to think, think about a few key skills.

What are you definitely going to do today? See if any of them on the screen.

I think we need to think, say, write, read every single sentence like we do in every writing lesson.

We need to choose precise adjectives and precise verbs, and adverbs.

That means choosing the best possible words to fit with the purpose of your sentence.

And the good news is, you've already planned all that amazing vocabulary.

So all you need to do for that one, is just looking at your plan.

And then the full thing I think we should focus on is starting sentences in different ways.

So that's, our reader has got lots of information in detail about where something's done, how something's done or when something is done.

And you definitely need to have your plan right next to you.

Have a moment now to look at the first part of your plan, the robin flew into the storm, familiarise yourself with all your excellent vocabulary that you'll be using in your writing.

Hope some really great words probably.

I'm going to spend a few minutes, writing my sentences for this parts and you can watch and listen carefully.

I need to start off by telling my reader where the robin has got to.

So looking at my plan I can see he got to the North Sea.

Only the North Sea, separated him from home.

Only the North Sea, capitalise the North Sea because it's a name of the sea, is such a proper noun, separated him from home.

But I need to tell my reader that this was a really dangerous sight.

So he'd got to the North Sea, but what did he see in front of him? It really, really dangerous storm.

So I could start my sentence with however, however he was about to face the most dangerous conditions yet.

However, comma, he was about to face the most dangerous conditions yet.

Can you read that sentence back? However, he was about to face the most dangerous conditions yet.

Now I want to say what he did, because he really had no choice.

Didn't he? He no choice, but to fly straight into the storm because that was the way home.

So maybe I could say, he took a deep breath and flew right into the storm.

He took a deep breath and flew right into, not going to the storm into the heart of the storm, which means the middle of the storm, into the heart of the storm.

Going to read that sentence back.

He took a deep breath and flew right into the heart of the storm.

So, I need to now be a bit more descriptive about what the storm was actually like.

Looking at my plan I can see, I got the words perilous, lightning, furious thunder, torrential rain.

So I definitely need to use some of those words.

Maybe an as complex sentence would be good here, so I can talk about two things happening at once.

Let's start off with the lightning, as perilous lightning zigzagged across the night sky, what else happened? I think the furious thunder clapped above him.

As perilous lightning zigzagged across the night sky.

What do I need after my subordinate clause? One, two, three a comma, furious thunder clapped above him.

which means really, really loudly roared of him.

So I can really get a good picture in my mind of what this storm is like.

And then my last sentence, is just going to be a little bit of show, not tell.

Showing what he did, He beat his wings with all his might.

So he was so determined to get through the storm that he beat his wings with all his might, with all his energy.

And I just, all I did was look at my plan and put those words in a sentence.

He bravely beat his little wings with all his might.

Meant to read back, that sentence, he bravely beats his little wings with all his might.

I think that was a good opening to my climax, I think that it's got well chosen adjectives, adverbs and verbs.

Things like, perilous and furious as my adjective to describe the lightning and thunder.

And then my precise verbs and adverbs, bravely beats, took a deep breath.

Okay, so that is my beginning to my climax.

In a moment, it will be your attempt to write your sentences.

Well done for following along carefully, there are the skills to be successful as your reminder, as you're writing these sentences.

And I hope you've got your plan right next to you, show me? Okay.

Well done.

So, you can pause the video, take a few minutes or however long you need to write your sentences and play the video when you've done that.

So the next parts of our climax, is where he got swept onto the boats by a crashing wave.

So look at your plan, look at the words you've got in it.

What words you definitely going to use in your sentences I wonder? So it's my turn to do my writing, you need to follow along and listen really carefully.

I think we should start this part of our climax with introducing that huge wave that swept him onto the boat.

And we know he's trying his absolute hardest to fly in this storm, but it's no use is it? Because the waves are too powerful and strong.

So I think I'm going to start my sentence with although, although he flew as high as he could, he was no match for the immense waves.

Which means that the waves were too powerful and too high for him.

Although he flew lets check that spelling although he flew as high as he could, comma after my subordinate clause.

He was no match for the immense waves.

Lets just read that part.

Although he flew as high as he could comma, he was no match for the immense waves.

Maybe I should put a one word sentence here, that is for the sound of the waves.

Crash! Crash! So then he swept, away by a powerful spray of water.

Isn't he? When did that happen? Let's think about a time conjunction.

Could we use a quick time conjunction or a slow one? I think quick, I think something like instantly, instantly he was swept away by a powerful spray of water.

Instantly, comma after my time conjunction, he was swept away by a powerful spray of water.

Instantly, he was swept away by a powerful spray of water, but he didn't just land back in the seat.

Did he? He landed on the boat and I think that's quite lucky.

So perhaps we could start off with, luckily, he landed on boat a nearby fishing boat.

Now, I want to give my reader a bit more detail, about what's happening to this boat.

Just checking my plan and I can see some great words on that, tossed up and down, plunged in and out of the water.

I like that that's really vivid.

So my sentence is going to be, luckily, he landed on board and nearby fishing boats, which was being plunged in and out of the tempestuous sea.

Luckily, comma after my adverb he landed on a nearby.

Well, he landed on board, which means kind of on the boat on a nearby fishing boat, comma because I'm about to write a related clause, which was being plunged in and out of the tempestuous sea.

Reading that sentence back.

Luckily, he landed on board a nearby fishing boat, comma which was being plunged in and out of the tempestuous sea.

A really good picture in my mind of what's happening.

And I think just a short sentence to finish off this section, which I'm just going to check my plan.

What was the result to this? What had happened to the poor little robin? Sodden feathers, swallowed water, barely breathing.

Maybe I'll just make that into a short sentence, he could barely breathe.

He could barely breathe, reading it back.

He could barely breathe.

Think I've done a good job of thinking, saying, writing, reading every sentence.

I've chosen, precise adjectives, for example, immense waves, tempestuous sea.

Chosen precise verbs and adverbs, for example, he was swept away.

The boat was being plunged in and out of this tempestuous sea.

And I definitely started sentences in different ways, with I've chosen a time conjunction, instantly and adverb of manner, luckily, I've also got a subordinate clause, although he flew as high as he could.

Okay.

So, in a moment it will be your turn to write this part.

And that is our reminder for our skills to be successful, I hope that you've been thinking, saying, writing, reading every sentence.

I know you've been choosing the best, most precise words from your plan and I am sure you've been starting sentences in different ways.

Make sure you put your plan next to you, pause the video, take as many minutes as you like, to write this part.

Play the video when you've done that.

So we're onto the final parts of our climax, so you need to look at parts three of your plan, which is when the fisherman looked after the little robin.

Have a really careful look at your plan, What the words you got there.

What words are you going to use in your sentences? Okay, ready to watch me do my writing? Off we go.

Okay, I need to start this part of my paragraph by introducing the fisherman.

So what did he do? He peered closely, he was puzzled, he gently cradled.

Okay.

But it was hard for him to do that.

Wasn't it? Because it was raining so heavily, but he still did manage to notice the little robin.

So maybe I could start my sentence with something about the rain.

Through the driving rain, which means the very heavy rain, the kind-hearted fisherman, peered closely at this strange sight.

Could it probably would have been a strange sight.

Wouldn't it? You probably wouldn't have expected a little robin to be washed up onto his boat.

Through the driving rain comma, after my preposition phrase, the kind-hearted fisherman peered closely because he really, really took a good look at him.

At the strange sight.

Through the driving rain, the kind-hearted fishermen peered closely at this strange sight.

So then I need to say what he did.

Didn't he? So he gently reached out cradled wrapped in a blanket.

Now, when did he do that? Did it take him a long time to do that or not very long at all to decide to help him? I didn't think it took a very long at all, so maybe we could say without a second thought, in other words, he just went to go and do it.

Didn't he? So without a second thoughts, he reached out and gently cradle the fragile creature.

So I'm referring to the robin as a fragile creature, which means he's very weak.

And I think I'll just give a little bit more detail where the relative clause, who was shivering with cold.

I've got lots of those words, to straight from my plan.

Without a second thought he reached out and gently cradled the fragile creature.

Now have got a relative clause coming up, so I need a comma, who was shivering with cold.

Let's read that sentence back.

Without a second thought, he reached out and gently cradled, the fragile creature who was shivering with cold.

And now I need to say what the fishermen did all night long.

So, he wrapped him in a blanket and he kept watch over him.

Didn't he? So, let's think about starting that sentence maybe with the word tenderly, which we know means really gently and kindly.

So tenderly, he wrapped the robin in a blanket and vigilantly kept watch over him.

I got that word straight from my plan, vigilantly, which means you do it.

And you're really, really alert and you really want to keep watching over him to check that he is okay.

Tenderly, he wrapped the robin in a blanket and vigilantly kept watch over him.

Tenderly, he wrapped the robin in a blanket and vigilantly kept watch over him.

And then the final sentence is just going to be about the little robin getting better.

So he regained strength, he recovered, he proved his resilience.

Just checking my plan there and seeing what words I want to use.

Actually I think going to refer to him as resilient.

The resilient little bird, gradually regained his strength.

The resilient little bird gradually regained his strength.

I'll read that sentence back.

The resilient little bird, gradually regained his strength.

Which means he got better and stronger over time, over the rest of the night.

So again, I use think, say, write, read for every sentence, I chose precise, adjectives and adverbs carefully, and I started my sentences in different ways.

In a moment, it will be your turn.

Well done for following along so carefully.

There are skills to be successful, I know you're doing a great job with doing each of those things.

I know you've got your plan right next to you and I know you're ready to write the end of the climax.

Pause the video and play it's when you finished.

So the final parts of our lesson, is reading back our writing.

I'm going to share my whole paragraph with you, so all you need to do is just listen really carefully and you can follow along on the screen if you like to.

Only the North Sea separated him from home.

However, he was about to face the most dangerous conditions yet.

He took a deep breath into the heart of the storm.

As perilous lightning zigzagged across the night sky, furious thunder clapped above him.

He bravely beats his little wings with all his might.

Although he flew as high as he could, he was no match for the immense waves.

Crash! Instantly, he was swept away by a powerful spray of water.

Luckily, he landed on board in nearby fishing boat, which was being plunged in and out of the tempestuous sea.

He could barely breathe.

Through the driving rain, a kind-hearted fishermen peered closely at the strange sight.

without a second thought, he reached out and gently cradled the fragile creature, who was shivering with cold.

Tenderly, he wrapped the robin in a blanket and vigilantly kept watch over him.

The resilient little bird gradually regained his strength.

It's your turn to read your writing back.

As you're doing so, think about these questions.

Can you get a sense of what it feels like to be the reader? What must the reader be thinking and feeling as they read your writing? Is there a vivid picture in your mind of what happened? How do you feel when you read your writing back? And I hope one of those feelings, is feeling really proud of yourself as a writer.

And then finally, think about what happens next.

So, pause the video, read your whole paragraph back and play the video when you've done that.

Wow, you've written the whole climax to the story.

So you must have worked very, very hard to do that.

You did a great job in the writing warm up, We got ready to write, we wrote each parts of the climates in short sections, and then you read your writing back aloud.

Congratulations! We finished our lesson.

If you'd like it would be so wonderful, if you could ask your parent or carer to share your writing on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter by tagging @OakNational or #LearnwithOak.

And that way I would get to see your writing and that would make me so, so happy.

So, that's the end of our lesson.

I hope you have a great rest of your day and I'll see you very, very soon for our next lesson.

Bye.