Lesson video

Hello, everyone, it's Mr. Brown here with your English lesson, and it is time for us to write our persuasive letter.

To use everything we've learned, in the lessons so far in this unit, to be able to write a really persuasive letter.

So let's get started.

Our learning objective for today is to write a persuasive letter.

In this lesson, you will need an exercise book, or a piece of paper, a pencil, a pen, something to write with, and definitely your brain.

We're going to start looking at the layout of a persuasive letter, again, just remind ourselves before we start writing exactly how our letter should look.

Then we're going to start writing the opening and point one.

Then we'll look at point two, and the closing of our persuasive letter.

So the layout of a persuasive letter.

Here is the example that I wrote for you.

It has everything labelled, but without the actual labels themselves.

Can you have a think right now and see if you can label each part of my persuasive letter? What do you think? Are there any that jump out at you straight away? I think certainly some things at the top and the bottom you will definitely know.

If you want to pause the lesson and have a go at labelling all of these you definitely can do.

We are going to slowly go through now what each part of our formal persuasive letter is.

So at the top, we've got your address.

On the right-hand side, you put your address, the address that the letter is coming from.

On the left side, the recipient's address, the address that the letter is going to exactly.

Then you have the date, the date the letter has been written.

Not your birthday, it's the date the letter has been written exactly.

Then we have Dear, and you say dear to whoever the person is who you're writing to.

In my case, Dear Prime Minister.

In the letter's case, that we're going to write, it's Dear Education Secretary.

Then our opening, any one or two sentences, but it's our opening that sets the tone and explains who we are, and why we are writing this letter, our purpose.

Then point one and point two.

Now these will be paragraphs.

They will be two separate paragraphs.

And the best way to look at those is remember our P.

E.

P.

S planning? That's what point one is, point, explanation, proof, summary.

That's point one.

And then point two, point, explanation, proof, summary.

It's two chunks of P.

E.

P.

S, really.

Then we have our closing where we wrap up everything, finish with a Yours Sincerely or a Kind Regards, and our name at the end.

Great, lots to remember there, but I know it's already in your heads, well done.

Let's get started.

We're writing the opening and point one.

We are using our planning from last lesson, our P.

E.

P.

S structure.

We're writing all about school uniform being compulsory, which means you have to have it, mandatory.

And we're going to start with point one, which is the school uniform is cheaper for parents.

Here is my P.

E.

P.

S planning structure.

We're going to carry that with us and look at that while we write.

We have then point two to go through and there's our planning structure for that.

And we'll come onto that when we get to point two.

As with every piece of writing, we have a success criteria, the things that we need to do to make sure our writing achieves its potential.

The first thing is, "I have used the correct layout for a persuasive letter." Everything really hinges on the layout.

We have to make sure the layout is right before we even start worrying about the contents of our letter.

Get the layout right, first of all.

Next target is, "I have written a variety of simple, compound, and complex sentences." We want to make sure our letter really captures and holds on to the attention of the reader.

Otherwise, they're just going to put it down and they're not going to respond to our request are they? We're not going to be able to persuade someone who isn't reading our persuasive letter.

So we must strive always for variety, keeping your sentences interesting simple, compound, complex, compound, complex, simple, compound, complex, simple, simple, compound, exactly.

Moving it around, making sure that our work is always varied.

I love the phrase, "Variety is the spice of life." It always sticks in my head when I'm writing.

Our next target is, "I have used formal conjunctions in my writing." Now we have done a lesson on formal conjunctions before, and you've seen lessons with other teachers on formal conjunctions before.

But if you would like a refresh, if you didn't watch our last lesson, I do suggest you stop this lesson and go back and watch that first.

But we will be aiming to get formal conjunctions in our writing today, so you will see them in this lesson.

And then our above and beyond target, if we really want to push ourselves, is to use those persuasive techniques such as flattery, veiled threats, and presumption.

I'd love to see those in our writing as well.

Just a reminder on formal conjunctions.

We have our and, but, and causal conjunctions.

And conjunctions are in addition, furthermore, moreover, and also.

But, however, nevertheless, despite this, and although something, and then something else.

And our causal conjunctions, as a result, consequently, therefore, and mmm in order to mmm, is a causal conjunction as well.

Okay, we've got our success criteria.

Let's get started.

The first thing that our success criteria does mention about the correct layout.

So I know I can tick that off by just paying attention to our layout here.

So I've got my address at the top-right side.

That's my address.

I then need to put the address of the recipient.

There it is, 10 Downing Street, because the education secretary we can send it to Downing Street as well and it will get there.

I then have the date and finally my, what is it? Yes, good, Dear Education Secretary with a comma.

Exactly, well done.

Okay, I now need to introduce myself, it's the opening.

"My name is Mr. Brown and I am a teacher for Oak National Academy." So I've said who I am.

I now need to say, or start to get over to the reader, the point of why I'm writing.

"Since I've started working with children from schools across the entire country, I have noticed that there are many schools that do not require their pupils to wear a uniform." So I've not quite said it yet, have I? I've not been obvious and said my reason for writing.

I'm just setting it up with that sentence.

"I am writing to you," so we know this is definitely where I'm going to say why I'm writing.

"I'm writing to you to ask that you make it compulsory for all schools to have a uniform as I believe this will have a hugely positive impact on pupils across the UK." Good, nice sentence.

I like the word compulsory, means the same as mandatory.

You have to do it.

And I've used an as in the middle there, haven't I? A subordinating conjunction.

And I haven't put a comma before it? No, 'cause I don't need to.

I only need a comma with my as if it's starts my sentence, the subordinates conjunction comes first in my complex sentence.

Okay, time to check in on our P.

E.

P.

S planning structure, because we are now ready to write point one.

We've written our opening.

We said why we're writing the letter.

Now it's time to give one of our reasons and start persuading the education secretary.

So here is my P.

E.

P.

S planning structure that we've done in previous lessons.

I'm going to take that onto my page so I can look at it.

My first sentence is obviously going to be my point in my notes I've got, "Because it would be much cheaper for parents and carers as they wouldn't have to buy lots of clothes." I'm going to put that into a full sentence.

"Firstly, I believe having a uniform for all schools would be a good idea, because it would be much cheaper for parents and carers as they wouldn't have to buy lots of different clothes." Good, okay on to my explanation.

"Parents and carers only need to buy one or two sets of uniform." Okay, so I can talk about that.

Uniform being handed down I can talk about.

And then money being spent on healthy food, okay.

"I am sure that someone as intelligent as yourself can understand that buying one or two sets of uniform is vastly cheaper than having to buy a child lots of different clothes." Which persuasive technique did I use there? "I am sure that someone as intelligent as yourself," what's that? Flattery, exactly.

I'm flattering them and saying how intelligent they are, so they must be able to see what I can see.

"Furthermore," good, so I'm now going to say a bit more about the same topic.

"Furthermore, uniform is often the same for boys and girls so it can be passed down to younger siblings to wear." Good, okay.

"The money the parents and carers save on this could be spent on books to help their children improve their reading, or it could be spent on buying healthier, fresh food!" And I put an exclamation mark there because I really want to get that point across, that it could even be better spent on fresh food.

So there's not just books, but food as well.

Two really important things that this money could be better spent on.

Okay, I feel like I've done most of my explanation there.

On to my proof, and that's where I'm going to talk about the football kits, the average cost of the football kits, and the shirt of a football kit costing 55 pounds, okay.

"I'm sure you'll agree," presumption.

"I'm sure you'll agree that this makes sense.

At schools that do not have a uniform, some children wear the latest football kits.

Shockingly, these kits can cost around 100 pounds, with the shirt alone costing 55 pounds." Good, "How can parents afford this?" I really wanted to make sure I got direct questions to the reader as well.

I felt like it would put that person on the spot a little bit and ask them, you know, "How can parents and carers afford this?" Well, they can't, but it gives them a good chance to be feeling the pressure.

I just want to start to crank up the pressure on them, make sure that I'm persuading them as fully as I can, okay? Now it's just time to summarise my main points again.

"Having a child is expensive and there are far better things for a child's guardian to spend their money on." I chose to say child's guardian rather than parent and carer, because I'd used parent and carer a few times.

Again, back to variety, always trying to keep the reader guessing.

Okay, off to my success criteria.

"I have used the correct layout for a persuasive letter." Did I do that? Yes, definitely.

I made sure that my address was on the right-hand side.

Their address was on the left.

The date, all the layout's looking good so far.

"I have written a variety of simple, compound, and complex sentences." Let's check in on that.

I've got, because, I've got a so sentence.

An all, yep, that's looking pretty good.

I think if I've done it two or three times, I can definitely tick it.

Not once, that's not quite enough.

"I've used formal conjunctions in my writing." Okay, formal conjunctions.

I've got furthermore, but that's the only one so far.

So can I tick it? Not yet, you need at least two or three examples.

So let's just remind ourselves.

In addition, I've used furthermore, I haven't used a but conjunction yet, so I could try and get that in, or a causal conjunction.

Okay, while there in my head, let's make sure I get them in.

On my last target, persuasive techniques, flattery, veiled threats, and presumption.

I've got, "I am sure that someone is intelligent as you." So that's flattery.

And "I'm sure you'll agree this makes sense." That's presumption.

I think I'll probably hold back for now, but possibly try and get that last one in, that veiled threat, and then I can tick that.

Okay, on to point two.

Here's my P.

E.

P.

S structure.

Let's take it and let's start.

"My next point is that I feel this change could help to stop competition between pupils who are often judging and comparing each other due to their clothes." Nice, okay, I'm going to explain it.

Let me check my plan.

Having the latest clothes can be very important to children, social groups, and could be teased, okay.

"Having the latest fashionable clothes can be very important to children.

Consequently," there it is.

Consequently, a formal conjunction.

So I'm saying it's very important to children and as a consequence of that, "Consequently, choosing an outfit for school everyday is often a stressful experience for pupils who are not required to wear a uniform.

In addition to this," formal conjunctions everywhere now, good, "constantly changing social dynamics," which is just a more formal way for saying friendship groups, "can often lead to young children being left out and teased for not having the most up to date clothing.

Do you really want your decision to be the reason for a child's unhappiness?" Wow, okay, I'm going in quite heavy there.

I'm really making the pressure on the reader quite intense.

I'm saying that their decision, they have the power, and their decision right now could be the reason for a child's unhappiness.

'Cause if they don't agree with us, I mean, that's a veiled threat right there isn't it? "Do you really want the decision to be the reason for a child's unhappiness?" Okay, "On non-uniform days," okay, so this is my proof.

"On non-uniform days at my school, some children choose to come in wearing their uniform as they are anxious about not having fashionable clothes to wear." So this is actually something I've seen, I've experienced.

It's my own life experiences as my proof.

"However, you do have the power to change this situation." Good use of formal conjunction however.

"It is difficult enough being a child in school" so this is my summary, "and being told what to wear each day would be a substantial weight lifted." So the education secretary has the power to lift this weight off children and make it a much more inclusive, inviting environment.

Seems like it's an easy decision doesn't it? That's because our letter has been very persuasive.

Okay, back to my success criteria.

Formal conjunctions.

Yeah, I added consequently, in addition to this, however.

Definitely can tick that.

And then I know I had flattery and presumption.

I've got a veiled threat in there.

"Do you really want your decision to be the reason for a child's unhappiness?" Super, definitely worth a tick.

Okay, I'm done, ticked everything in my success criteria.

And, oh wait, I'm not done am I? Point two, what comes after point two? A closing, of course, my closing.

So let's get it in there.

"I urge you to make the right decision on this matter and immediately make school uniform mandatory." I chose mandatory there because I'd used compulsory earlier in the letter.

"There are thousands of children across the country who are depending on you." Another veil threat really there isn't it? "Yours Sincerely," with a comma at the end.

And note how yours and sincerely have capital letters.

"Yours Sincerely, Mr. Brown." Now it's over to you.

It's your turn to write your own persuasive letter to the education secretary, to persuade them to make school uniform compulsory in the UK.

You can use our plans or you can use your own ideas.

Here's your success criteria.

Try to make sure you can tick everything off on the success criteria.

Pause the lesson, and make your own persuasive letter for the point of school uniform should be compulsory.

Good luck, everyone, off you go.

Okay, if you're back with us, it's because you have completed your letter, well done.

If you've not done it yet, that's fine.

You can do it after this lesson and before I see you next.

Take your time.

It will take you a good 20 minutes to half an hour to be able to write that thinking really carefully.

If you want to, you can break it up.

You could write the opening and point one, and have a break, go and have a snack, read a book.

Come back and write point two and the closing.

Well done, everyone.

Well, I am exhausted.

That's when you know, you've put in a lot of effort to a piece of writing, a really persuasive letter that we've created together.

Well done.

Okay, it's over to you now.

I look forward to seeing your persuasive letters soon.

Good luck, everyone, bye-bye.