Lesson video

Welcome to today's English lesson.

I'm Mrs Crompton, our focus today is examining structural choices.

You will need a pen and paper.

Take a moment to make sure you've cleared any distractions away and have everything you need to hand.

To begin with then let's consider what we mean by structural choices.

Now, the writer already makes certain choices regarding structure when it comes to the whole text.

And we've looked at the idea of exposition, rising action, climax falling action, and denouement.

So that's the overall structure.

However, when we come to an unseen passage, we again can use this, but then on pick further about what we are told and why now those are the two key questions we need to ask.

And as we are working with our extract from The Tiredness of Rosabel, we've been asking various questions in terms of what happens first, next, then, and finally, those questions are going to help us when it comes to thinking about what and why now, let's have a look a little bit further.

Writers can make various choices when they are putting their piece of writing together.

So they will decide who and what to introduce first.

They will decide how they're going to shift between a person or place.

They're going to decide if they're going to introduce any other characters or viewpoints, or they're going to bring in a complication or a change, how are they going to show us this? Are they going to zoom in or zoom out.

Are they going to change perspective from the individual to considering the wider world? Are they going to show us, our particular protagonist, combining external actions that Rosabel doing something at the same time as thinking something.

And we do see that actually within this text, they make all of these.

What I will call design choices because they are designing the way that their writing is going to be, experienced by the reader.

They are guiding us in terms of how they want us to feel at different points.

At this point, you might wish to take notes of some of these ideas.

Please pause the video and resume when you're ready.

Now, in terms of looking at our response, although we can consider the much longer, less that I've just shown you.

There are some key things that will help us put together an effective response to any structural question that we might be asked.

And here is my abbreviated subject terminology list.

Let's concentrate on zooming in and zooming out, looking at where we have a shift in focus.

So we shift in focus in terms of action, place, person.

We can look at whether we flashback or flash forward.

We can look at the order, whether we have a non-chronological order, and we can also consider whether we have a cyclical structure, whether the ending points us back to the beginning.

As we are talking about these things, we've got two key sentences at the bottom, the positioning of this detail, then we have links.

The effect on the reader is.

So the positioning of one particular detail by placing something like the detail of Rosabel's quite poetry tea at the beginning.

That becomes more important when we read about the detail at the end.

So the positioning of the detail of the red head girl, going off to have quite a lavish afternoons tea, with her new hat, becomes more pertinent, when we think about its link to Rosabel's really simple meal at the beginning of the extract.

So it's the positioning of this detail links to, and we are making those connections across the text.

We're looking at the shape, we're looking at the design choices and we are pinning down those connections within our answer.

Let's have a look a little bit further pause at this point however, if you do need to, to take down any of these details.

Welcome back, so what we're going to do is to work with planning grids today, we're going to work with a planning grid initially to try and organise our thoughts.

And I'm going to show you how this systematic approach to working through the text will help you when it comes to writing up an answer.

So let's have a look at the grid.

Left hand side, we have got what, in the middle, we've got the writer's design choice, the decision that they've made and the technique that they have used.

And then we're going to record the why, the effect, how this works.

So we would say at first we are told this, the decision that the writer has made has been to zoom in on a particular detail.

So we could have the technique zoom in that's the decision that's been made.

And the effect is that it really highlights a particular characteristic or feature of Rosabel's lifestyle.

So that would be an example of how to fill in the initial column.

I would recommend that you don't pre-rule where your lines are going to be because you don't know yet how much detail you're going to put into the first column when you've done it, then draw your line.

Then go on to the next that move on to then, then move on to finally.

You have the text with the prompts running along, so the first section.

Two, three, three slides, before we get to the next parts so work through systematically.

Use that detail, then complete your part of the grid for first, then go to next, you got one, just one slide there, then move on to then, one, two then move on to finally, okay? So work through and start to populate that grid.

What am particularly interested in seeing is how you can start to really use that middle column.

It's the choice the right to choose is to tell me this at this point, and the technique, the method they use is zooming in zooming out is to create a shift in focus is to widen the perspective etcetera.

You're going to record those in the middle and think particularly about the link at the end.

Over to you start to work through from this slide.

I'll give you the whole instructions.

I will see you when you have completed your grid.

And welcome back so you've got your grid completed.

Hopefully you've been able to activate some of the subjects terminology we initially looked at.

What we're going to do is to have a look at a model answer to sort of demonstrate to you how this would look written up.

And as a reverse exercise, what I'm going to ask you to do is to now just have a planning grid by your side, with the same three columns.

And what you're going to do is to track how this model response covers first, next, then finally.

And they don't always do it in a logical way so they can combine some of the ideas.

So what I would initially you to do is to draw the grid again.

Okay and then I'm going to read through the sample response with you first time through just concentrate on the text and just have a look at how a structural question looks when it's written up.

Then you can go back and complete the grid exercise.

So you've got a model to compare against your own grid and you can also make improvements that way, okay? Right, so go back to the instructions.

I'll give you first of all, an opportunity just to draw the grid again.

Pause whilst you do that and then resume when you are ready.

Welcome back, so we're going to read through, remember, don't try and fill the grid in this first time.

I will give you control in a moment and you'll be able to go through it at your leisure and really take care thinking about how they've used the grid, but then thought about how they're going to write it up to make it a more fluid response.

So there're two things going on here, okay? So the structure of the extract is split into two sections.

The first being the present time that Rosabel is in carrying on with her mundane routine of tea and the bus journey home.

The second is a flashback of all that had happened that day at Rosabel's hat shop.

These two sections are directly contrasted and juxtaposed through a number of ways.

The actions Rosabel carries out, the actions of the people she is with and the setting of each of the scenes.

Now that is all introduction.

And it's all introduction about the way the structure of the whole extract is going to work.

And it's really quite a sophisticated response.

And the only way that somebody can write this is that they have completed the whole grid.

And then they've thought about the different sections.

So I wanted you to see that written down.

And that's why I said to you, please don't try and fill in the grid as you go.

We're going to unpick this now, as we look at the rest of the response.

The fact that Rosabel is the one character that remains constant throughout the extract suggests that she is a central character to the plot of the story.

Initially the writer immediately sets up at the time, manner and place of the story.

The focus is placed primarily on Rosabel in the beginning with her buying a bunch of violets and having so little fatigue.

Notice that we've got evidence to support the point.

So it's really important that we don't forget to include our supporting evidence.

This allows the writer to set up the scene and setting for the extract.

That has the effect that allows the writer to set up the scene and setting for the extract.

Later the focus changes.

So we've got the transition here to Rosabel getting on to the bus and we're tracking how there is a shift in focus.

The fact that the second paragraph shifts from the street to everybody in the bus reflects the external nature of the outside world compared to the internal environment of the bus.

The fact that the writer changes the focus constantly allows the reader to be brought inside the bus.

And here we've got really detailed explanation about how inside and outside is working on the bus and how the reader is brought into the action too.

The fact that the writer changes the focus constantly allows the reader to be brought inside the bus.

The focus then narrows further, and we've got, again, a real concentration on tracking, really precisely how the design choices are working.

And the focus is narrowing to Rosabel's own internal thoughts.

So we've gone from outside on the streets, into the bus, observing the surroundings of the bus and then further inside into Rosabel's mind.

And Rosabel's own internal thoughts of her feeling stifled and stifled, not just in terms of the atmosphere on the bus, but in her life generally.

This change in focus provides a smooth transition to the second part of the extract, which is Rosabel's flashback.

The writer shifts the focus to Rosabel's memory of the day she experienced at her hat shop.

The writer juxtaposes two of Rosabel's customers, the girl who tried on every hat and the girl with beautiful red hair.

This juxtaposition makes the description of the second customer, more striking, placing significance on her for the reader.

Did you notice that that actually we have all the customers, but it's the girl with the red hair that Rosabel's particularly interested in and she takes the time to get to remembering her as long as she's severing that moment.

And she is that inciting force for change in this narrative.

So that's a really nice detail.

That's been picked out by the student.

This enables the reader to experience the flashback with greater understanding.

So we too understand Rosabel encounters, lots of people, but this girl, this girl is different.

The writer changes the focus to Rosabel's experience with the customer, with the beautiful red hair.

The fact that the only bits of dialogue in the extract, again, another observation about a design choice use of dialogue from Rosabel's interaction with this customer reflects the importance of the past conversation.

This creates mystery around the customer.

The fact that the writer ends with the cliffhanger of Rosabel heard her say creates more mystery and foreshadows, the later parts of the extract, making the reader interested.

So we've got some more techniques used here.

And the effect is to create tension, use of foreshadowing use of the cliffhanger.

The fact that the writer shifts from Rosabel's present experience to her flashback narrows the focus to Rosabel's internal thoughts, which makes the extract more interesting to the reader.

The fact that the narrative perspective remains the same reinforces the fact that Rosabel is a central character, which intrigues the reader to find out what happens to her.

So all the way through this response, the focus is very much on structure and it's really unpicking the way in which tension is created.

Ideas are foreshadowed the linking backwards and forwards strongest bit, I think is the bit where we concentrate on the way in which the red head girl is introduced.

Okay, I'm now going to give you control.

And so you now have opportunity to complete the activity where you're going to look and see, what did the model response tell you about the passage itself from the first next then and finally, and I want you to think about how they have really recorded so many structural features within the writer's design choices in the middle column.

And then think about the effect that's created.

As you're doing this, this is an opportunity for you to reflect on your own work and to think about how you can also improve your writing up of the observations that you've made.

Whether your observations actually rich enough.

Whether it's detailed as the ones that you see in the model.

Okay, over to you, I'll be waiting for you to tell you the next steps when you're ready.

And welcome back, so in terms of this next part of the lesson, I wanted us to think about our big picture ideas that we've been exploring during our lessons on The Tiredness of Rosabel and we've looked at two things, this final idea of what actually happens with these two characters.

Now we're not going to read the whole of the short story.

The short story is actually quite a long short story, but we are going to look at what happens next section.

And I want us to start from the point of where we left it with our reflections.

And we had both C and D in our mind that this is either a man versus society type of conflict going on where maybe both the red head girl and Rosabel are victims of their situation.

Or it's some sort of man versus self struggle.

Rosabel's feelings, stifle.

She wants to break out of her situation and maybe it's more of D so that's why we have left our considerations.

I just want you to read and enjoy this last part.

So what we're going to do is to find out what happens next.

What are your predictions? What do you think happens as the girl goes after her carriage, Harry is left pear.

What's going to happen.

Let's have a look.

The man leant over her as she made out the bill.

Then as he counted the money in hand, "Ever been painted?" he said, "No," said Rosabel shortly, realising the swift change in his voice, the slight tinge of insolence, of familiarity.

"Oh, well you ought to be," said Harry.

Rosabel did not pay the slightest attention.

Just stop there for a moment, well, were are you expecting that? Did you just expect Harry to pay and leave? How'd you even notice Harry particularly this is actually more than he said throughout the whole passage.

And the dialogue has very much changed in tone to the point where Harry is perhaps now more than villainous character.

So let's see what happens and you will see at the bottom, I have written down the structural choices just to continue the theme and also brought in some of the characterization developments that are happening.

So Rosabel did not pay the slightest attention.

How handsome he had been.

She thought of no one else all day.

So that's why the incident has stuck in her mind.

It wasn't the red head girl, it was Harry.

She had thought of no one else all day, his face fascinated her.

She could see clearly his fine straight eyebrows and his hair grew back from his forehead with just the suspicion of crisp curl his laughing disdainful mouth.

She's saw again, his slim hands counting the money into hers.

Rosabel suddenly pushed the hair back from her face.

Her forehead was hot.

If those slim hands could rest one moment.

The look of that girl.

So we've got, Rosabel zooming in on Harry now.

And we've got her internal thoughts.

She's thinking of her being the red head girl.

That's the whole crux of it, isn't it.

It's not just Harry it's is also the fact that she wishes that she was the red head girl, the look of that girl and her internal thoughts and external actions, she's getting hot.

She's pushing her hair back out of her face.

And she wants to be with Harry.

So, Rosabel daydreams about what it would be like to swap places with the red head girl.

So let's have a look at this, suppose they change places.

So this is almost like a flash forward isn't it? She's projecting a future existence for herself.

Rosabel would drive home with him of course they were in love with each other, but not engaged very nearly and she would say, "I won't be one moment." He would wait in the carriage while her maid took the hat off the stairs, following Rosabel, then the great white and pink bedroom with roses.

And look here how the details are picked up on again before it was the girl that swept off in the carriage.

And Rosabel has carried that detail forward.

She's in the carriage now, and she has her own maid who's going to carry the hat just to, she had taken the pins out of the red head girl's hair.

And those details are being echoed.

There were pink roses everywhere in dull silver vases.

She would sit down before the mirror and the maid would fasten her hat, there you go.

Exact echo and find her a thin fine vail and another pair of white suede gloves, a button that come off the gloves she had worn that morning.

So many pairs of gloves, she could just afford to have a new one.

She had centred her gloves and handkerchief and run downstairs.

The butler opened the door and Harry was waiting and they drove away together.

That was life thought Rosabel, on the way to the Carlton they stopped at Gerard's.

Harry bought had great sprays the Parma violets filled her hands with them.

"Oh, they are sweet!" she said, holding them against her face.

"It is, as you always should be," said Harry, "with your hands full of violets." And do you remember the violets at the beginning of the extract, Rosabel had stopped to buy herself a small bunch of violets and that compromised what she could actually eat.

And just as a final detail, the violet itself because it's repeated within the text is a motif.

When a symbol throughout a text, that's a motif and the violets themselves are a symbol of innocence and humility and a symbol of Rosabel's character.

And that is what happens next.

Lots of interesting structural techniques to.

Not the end of the story you can find out for yourself should you wish? Okay and that completes our learning on, The Tiredness of Rosabel.

Thank you for your focus today.

Don't forget to do the exit quiz, and enjoy the rest of your learning.