Lesson video

Welcome to today's English lesson.

I'm Mrs. Crompton.

Our focus today is to look at what makes an effective introduction and conclusion in our viewpoint writing.

You will need a pen and paper.

Take a moment to make sure you've cleared any distractions away and have everything you need to hand.

To begin with, let's remind ourselves of the writing process that we are following.

We have five steps, think, plan, draught, critique and write.

Today, we're going to be looking at drafting.

In particular, the introduction and conclusion.

In terms of success criteria, we have three criteria.

We, we are going to consider the organisation, the vocabulary selection and the technical control.

In terms of organisation, a key feature of the writing needs to be the linking of ideas.

Today, we're going to concentrate on the link between the introduction and the conclusion and making sure that is really secure.

Within that, we will look at vocabulary selection and also we are going to have a little bit of a skill drill.

We're going to have a look at the way that punctuation and sentences can be used for effect.

Okay, let's make a start then.

So a remind reminder of the question we're working with.

We are writing an article for a magazine in which we present our viewpoint.

"All sports should be fun, fair, and open to everyone.

It's the taking part, not the winning that matters." Let's return to the model response that we've looked at to try and establish the purpose of an introduction.

It's okay to be second place.

Everyone likes to win, whether it's through dumb luck or years of training.

Nobody turns their nose up at first place, modest or not.

The feeling of being better than someone else - although selfish - keeps the drive to continue strong.

Who doesn't want to win? Now in terms of an introduction, this is a little bit unorthodox.

What we expect of an introduction key feature number one is that the line of argument is established, that we understand what your overall viewpoint is.

This writer has actually played a little bit of a trick, and it's quite a nice trick.

It's nice to be able to experiment with your writing and they have actually given us the counter argument within the openings.

So just bear that in mind.

The main idea is to give an overview of the line of argument.

However, you can do something unusual and we've got a counter-argument.

The second thing we need to do is to consider the kairos.

The, the sort of appropriateness of the turn and the register and the relationship that we are building with our reader.

That's certainly evident.

We've got the title that tells us that this is a magazine.

And then we've also got various features within that, the sort of conversational term that's created with the informality of the punctuation and the use of questions, even the content, content itself.

That creates the relationship with the reader.

So pause at this point if you wish, and then we'll have a look at just how this links into the next paragraph on the next slide.

Okay, now, when we've got the five sections to our plan, we can't always just stick rigidly to five paragraphs and what we've actually got because of the technique that this writer is using, that they have dripped into the second paragraph with that introduction option.

So let's have a look at what happens here.

However, some crave this feeling more than others.

Sport, as it has become, is more about being first than having fun.

It's about conquest, domination.

even violence.

Dodgeball.

The word strikes fear into my heart rather than excitement.

I remember standing in the sports hall each week facing the opposition.

There they were.

The ones who crave it; victory and blood.

Now we've got the line of argument.

Can you see the line picked out in pink, sport, as it has become is more about being first than having fun.

It's about conquest, domination, even violence.

That is the line of argument that this person is wanting to adopt.

And they've dripped into the second paragraph after the initial counter arguments.

Have we still got the relationship? Yes, it's going strong.

We've got humour added in.

We've also got the anecdote of the story of the dodgeball game.

And we can see that that is now really clear.

Line of arguments, relationship with reader, key features of your introductory paragraph.

Let's have a look at a skill check then.

So we've got some ideas now about the introduction we've got the key features, but how we communicate those through our choices of sentence and punctuation can add to the meaning.

As you can see on the screen sentence choices and punctuation choices, speak to the reader and add expression.

Let's have a look at the following task.

I've got the next section of the essay for you here.

And what I would like you to do is to have a look at the bits that are picked out in either pink or the turquoisey blue.

They are colour coded deliberately, three of the sentences, dodgeball, there they were, you can spot them easily.

I would like you to talk about in terms of sentence type, simple sentences, et cetera.

I want you to think about what type of sentence has been selected and how that adds to the meaning within this passage.

The second thing that I would like you to do, the lines that have been picked out in pink, I want you to not just think about the sentence choice.

There are things to say about the sentence construction, but more about the punctuation, how that is adding and speaking to us, okay? Right.

Pause at this point, stop the video, work through the screen.

And as soon as you are ready, I'll be waiting to review your answers with you.

And welcome back.

So, the first little section then in terms of sentence construction, dodgeball, a word on its own is.

That is called a sentence fragment.

And its effect is that it really arrests your attention as a reader.

It changes the focus and it starts the anecdotes off.

It's a dramatic way of creating a pause.

The second example, there they were, a simple sentence, but I want you to notice the use of the word they.

We're starting to establish this sense of an opposite point of view.

That's the counter argument that we're dismantling all the way through.

And that is carried on with, you can spot them easily.

Again, simple sentence construction and the you and them are now reinforcing this alliance between the reader and the writer.

Pause if you need to at this point, and then we'll have a look at the pink highlighted sentences.

It's about conquest, domination.

even violence.

We've got listing with the use of three, which is a common rhetorical feature and the ellipsis.

The ellipsis creates a pause and an emphasis on this idea that this is violent.

We don't want this.

And now that viewpoint is coming through.

There's also an air of for, informality by using the ellipsis.

Ellipsis isn't something that you use in very formal documents, et cetera.

As we'll also see with the use the dash in the second sentence and the use of the ellipsis again.

So, another aspect to the use of ellipsis and also dashes is that it's informal rather than a formal use of punctuation.

The ones who crave it; victory, dash and blood.

Here, we've got semi-colon, that's quite serious, but punctuation.

It's a, it's a confident statement.

And then the dash creates the informality and then the drama that's created with the exclamation mark after blood.

And the final sentence, they hold the ball tightly to that chest, nose twitching with intent, and then.

the running start.

And you've got the individuals who are playing dodgeball, lining it up, getting the ball ready.

It's really slowing the action down and making us live the action alongside the writer.

And we've got a three part sentence created, broken with the ellipsis to add emphasis and humour.

You've got this vision of these people really getting serious about the running start as they launch the ball.

But very carefully done through the sentence construction.

Okay, opportunity here again to pause if you need to, and then we will continue.

So now it's over to you.

Your task is to write the introductory paragraph.

"All sports should be fun, fair, and open to everyone.

It's the taking part, not the winning that matters." Remember, we need to include a clear overview of your line of arguments, and I need you to establish your relationship with the reader.

Pause, resume when you'll finish.

And welcome back.

So, we've looked in terms of our overall essay at the introduction now.

Now, we want to see the connection through, to the conclusion.

And as we pause and look at this screen, I want you to imagine the errors almost as a piece of thread that are tying each section together.

Our essay needs to have that flow.

And the most crucial connection is, starts and end.

It really signals to your reader, the final feelings that you want them to leave, the whole response with.

So a strong conclusion is vital.

And the connection back to the introduction is obviously important because the introduction was where we set up our debates.

So we've got to see it through, let's have a look.

So what makes an effective conclusion? Well, let's think about ethos at the end.

That whole aspect of trustworthiness, you should now be the trustworthy voice by the end of the essay.

You've built that relationship with your reader.

The second thing that the little twist that I wanted to put into it is that we also want to test the reader's trustworthiness and their moral stance by appealing to something that goes beyond the basic scope of our essay.

So we're now thinking about what's important in society? What do we actually value? In caps so in our conclusion, we're going to try and write something that appeals to ethos.

Pause if you need to, to get any notes, and then I will show you a little bit more, what I mean by that.

What we're going to do is to look at the model answer.

And this time we're going to look at it in terms of the link between the introduction and the conclusion.

As you look at this, I want you to think about what links there are in terms of the content, any specific words or phrases that you might see repeated and what you think of it in terms of logos, pathos, ethos.

Hopefully you can see in the conclusion, the ethos coming through.

Pause on the screen, stop the video at this point, make your notes.

And welcome back.

So let's have a look at what we had picked out in pink.

We have got some of the ideas, it's okay to be second place.

That's, that's a big thing here.

This idea of first place, second place, it's, it's something that they want to dismantle.

And we can see the link in terms of specific vocabulary repeated from the introduction into the conclusion.

It's not all about who gets to first place.

Within the response, pathos and logos are combined.

Everyone fails sometimes that links back to the beginning, but the argument has developed to include that moral stance.

Failure is part of being human.

And therefore we have got the ethos established.

That's the main viewpoint that extends the scope.

It's not about first, second.

It's about the fact that human beings need to be allowed to fail and not be judged because that makes a healthy individual and a healthy society.

So we've got a moral stance introduced.

Pause if you need to at this point, and then we will continue.

Now we're on to your opportunity to write your concluding paragraph.

I want you to think about ethos.

I want you to think about your connection back to your introduction.

Thinking about maybe repeating some of the vocabulary, thinking about how you're going to move from establishing almost a logos type of idea in the introduction through to the ethos standpoint, the moral viewpoint at the end.

Reminder of some of the things that you can include here.

Perhaps think about direct address, maybe think about the listing and then maybe think about our skill drill, skill drill, too, of using punctuation for a fact, okay? Right.

Control is over with you.

I'll be waiting.

Well done, so we have now drafted out our introduction and conclusion.

Please bring those along to you, with you to the next session.

All that remains for me to say is thank you for your focus today.

Please remember to do the exit quiz and enjoy the rest of your learning.