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Year 6

Self-editing a journalistic report based on 'When The Sky Falls'

I can edit my own journalistic report based on ‘When the Sky Falls’, aiming to improve the punctuation, text cohesion and vocabulary.

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New

Year 6

Self-editing a journalistic report based on 'When The Sky Falls'

I can edit my own journalistic report based on ‘When the Sky Falls’, aiming to improve the punctuation, text cohesion and vocabulary.

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Share activities with pupils

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Lesson details

Key learning points

Editing is a critical part of the writing process. A growth mindset helps us benefit most from editing.
Writing is most successful when editing is used to rethink, rephrase and reconsider first ideas.
Editing is most successful when it is chunked by punctuation, sentence structure, vocabulary and cohesive devices.
We can connect ideas in a range of different ways, using different cohesive devices - there is rarely only one way.
We use a less formal tone when quoting real people's speech; we use a formal tone elsewhere in our text.

Keywords

Growth mindset - a desire to keep developing any skill set
Text cohesion - how a text flows to maintain the interest of the reader and achieve text purpose
Cohesive devices - language structures that develop text cohesion
Formal tone - the effect created by using serious, factual language

Common misconception

Pupils may have all characters using the same language in direct speech.

Encourage pupils to think about the 'voice' of each character - how might they speak?

Ensure you clearly explain your own school procedures for rewriting passages and model how to do this on the page; we want to make it as easy as possible for pupils to rewrite small sections of their text in a way that can still be understood.

Teacher tip

Content guidance

Depiction or discussion of violence or suffering

Supervision

Adult supervision recommended

Licence

This content is © Oak National Academy Limited (2024), licensed on Open Government Licence version 3.0 except where otherwise stated. See Oak's terms & conditions (Collection 2).

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Worksheet

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Starter quiz

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6 Questions

Q1.

Which of these features would not be included in the conclusion of our journalistic report?

looking to the future

the most up-to-date information

Correct answer: summary of the events

the 'official' perspective

Q2.

What features of a conclusion are shown in this sentence? 'Margaret Blackwood, a council spokesperson, said that the council would be happy to help rebuild the zoo in the future.'

Correct answer: giving the 'official' position

giving the most up-to-date information about the event

Correct answer: looking to the future

Correct answer: reported speech

direct speech

Q3.

What features of a conclusion are shown in this sentence? '"We know these events are upsetting," she added, "but the right decision was made."'

Correct answer: giving the 'official' position

giving the most up-to-date information about the event

reported speech

looking to the future

Correct answer: direct speech

Q4.

Which example below uses direct speech correctly?

Mrs Farrelly said, "She came to the zoo just as they were about to shoot."

Mrs Farrelly said that she came to the zoo just as they were about to shoot.

Correct answer: Mrs Farrelly said, "I came to the zoo just as they were about to shoot."

Mrs Farrelly said, "I came to the zoo just as they were about to shoot?"

Q5.

Which example below punctuates direct speech correctly?

"I understand their actions," she added "but I'm still upset."

Correct answer: "I understand their actions," she added, "but I'm still upset."

"I understand their actions," she added, "but I'm still upset"

"I understand their actions" she added, "but I'm still upset"

Q6.

Jun says, "Completing our first draft is the end of the writing process." Which response is correct?

"Yes - it's finished!"

"No - publishing is the next step!"

Correct answer: "No - we need to edit and improve our work!"

Exit quiz

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6 Questions

Q1.

Put these steps of the writing process in order.

1 - generate ideas

2 - plan our writing

3 - write our first draft

4 - edit and improve the draft

5 - publish or present our work

Q2.

Which of these are true of editing and improving work?

Only bad work needs editing.

Correct answer: Editing can help make good work great.

Correct answer: Editing can help us correct mistakes.

Correct answer: Editing can help us find opportunities to improve our work.

Q3.

Which sentence has commas used correctly?

Andy Mayo, an air raid warden was present at the zoo.

Andy Mayo, an air raid warden was present, at the zoo.

Andy Mayo, an air raid warden, was present, at the zoo.

Correct answer: Andy Mayo, an air raid warden, was present at the zoo.

Q4.

Which cohesive device can be seen in this sentence? 'The zoo, which now has few animals remaining, suffered severe damage in the raid.'

adverbial complex sentence

Correct answer: relative complex sentence

non-finite (-ing) complex sentence

compound sentence

Q5.

What features in this passage show the informality we can use in some direct speech? '“And I still can’t believe it’s happened...” he said.'

Correct answer: contractions

Correct answer: ellipsis to show a thought trailing off

Correct answer: informal sentence opener

serious, factual language

Q6.

Which option below shows the most formal tone?

Correct answer: It is understood that all remaining animals have been secured.

We understand that all the animals left have been secured.

I have been told that all remaining animals have been secured.

It looks like all the remaining animals are in their cages.