New
New
Year 7

Using feedback to improve dystopian descriptions

I can use feedback to improve specific aspects of my descriptive writing.

New
New
Year 7

Using feedback to improve dystopian descriptions

I can use feedback to improve specific aspects of my descriptive writing.

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Lesson details

Key learning points

  1. Sentence level accuracy includes spelling, punctuation, sentence structures, syntax and fluency
  2. Re-writing a section of your descriptive writing is important as it shows a good understanding of the feedback
  3. It is important to understand where a mistake is, so that it can be avoided in the next piece of descriptive writing

Keywords

  • Grammar - Grammar refers to the rules about how words change and combine to make accurate sentences.

  • Tense - A verb’s tense will tell you whether the action happened in the past, present or future.

  • Foreboding - A feeling of something bad about to happen can be described as a feeling of foreboding.

  • Homophones - If two words are pronounced the same way but spelled differently they can be described as homophones (e.g. here and hear).

  • Desolate - If a place is uninhabited and gives an impression of bleak emptiness, it can be described as desolate.

Common misconception

That the first draft is the final draft.

The best writing is achieved through a cycle of initial creation, feedback and re-drafting.

Students could have written lots of dystopian descriptions. Consider using one of their own earlier pieces for feedback in learning cycle 2 rather than the student model.
Teacher tip

Content guidance

  • Depiction or discussion of sensitive content

Supervision

Adult supervision recommended

Licence

This content is © Oak National Academy Limited (2024), licensed on Open Government Licence version 3.0 except where otherwise stated. See Oak's terms & conditions (Collection 2).

Lesson video

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6 Questions

Q1.
What is the process of reading our work once finished, to check for mistakes, known as?
Correct answer: proofreading
checking
editing
redrafting
Q2.
Match these punctuation marks to their definition.
Correct Answer:colon,goes before a list or explanation.

goes before a list or explanation.

Correct Answer:semicolon,indicates a pause between two independent, related clauses.

indicates a pause between two independent, related clauses.

Correct Answer:dashes,interrupt a sentence to give extra information.

interrupt a sentence to give extra information.

Q3.
Which punctuation mark is usually used after expressing emotion?
question mark
comma
full stop
Correct answer: exclamation mark
Q4.
What piece of punctuation is missing from this sentence: 'The building now engulfed in flames stood out like a beacon on the horizon.'?
exclamation mark
question mark
Correct answer: dashes
full stop
Q5.
Which of the below is the best definition of the word 'desolate'? Here it is used in a sentence: 'The once thriving town was now desolate'.
Correct answer: An impression of bleak emptiness.
An impression of optimism and joy.
An impression of fear.
An impression of poverty.
Q6.
If you have a feeling of foreboding then you are convinced that...
Correct answer: something bad is going to happen.
something good is going to happen.
something strange is going to happen.
something boring is going to happen.

6 Questions

Q1.
Which of the following is NOT a good reason to proofread?
To spot spelling errors
To spot grammatical errors.
To spot punctuation errors.
Correct answer: To spot adjectives that can be changed for more ambitious ones.
Q2.
What is being described here: 'The rules about how words change and combine to make accurate sentences.'?
Correct Answer: Grammar
Q3.
The words 'buy', 'bye', and 'by' all sound identical but are spelled differently. As such they are...
synonyms.
Correct answer: homophones.
antonyms.
pronouns.
Q4.
A verb's will tell you whether the action happened in the past, present or future.
Correct Answer: Tense
Q5.
What pronoun is missing from this sentence: 'They slowly marched through the barren streets, anticipating the misery that lay before '?
Correct Answer: them
Q6.
Which teacher target below is the most clear and specific in relation to descriptive writing?
Add more adjectives to your piece of writing.
There aren't enough dystopian conventions and you only use commas and full stops
Correct answer: Add a semantic field of suffering to develop your theme of oppression further.
Vary your punctuation.