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Year 10
AQA

Evaluating and improving model essays on 'Animal Farm'

I can use model essays to identify areas of strength and weakness to improve my own writing.

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New
New
Year 10
AQA

Evaluating and improving model essays on 'Animal Farm'

I can use model essays to identify areas of strength and weakness to improve my own writing.

Download all resources
Share activities with pupils

Lesson details

Key learning points

  1. Using a success criteria to look at model essays is a good way to understand and embed the expectations of writing.
  2. Reading model essays is a great way to find adaptable phrases and ideas for your own essays.
  3. Using WWW and EBI is an efficient way to identify areas of improvement.
  4. Rewriting model essays will help you be more critical of your own writing.

Common misconception

There is no benefit in looking at other people's responses.

How do you feel looking at your own work? It is quite difficult to be critical of your own work, practising on model essays helps this.

Keywords

  • Judicious - To be judicious is to make good and informed decisions.

  • Terminology - Refers to technical, subject specific language. For example, in English this might be the names of word types of language features.

  • Discourse markers - A word or phrase which organises writing into clear sections and ideas.

  • Sophisticated - In writing, sophisticated means an elevated, well written response that uses excellent vocabulary and references complex ideas.

Using a range of models for students to compare is a good way to identify specific ways of how to improve. It demonstrates what 'even better' looks like.
Teacher tip

Equipment

You will need access to a copy of 'Animal Farm' by George Orwell.

Content guidance

  • Depiction or discussion of violence or suffering

Supervision

Adult supervision recommended

Licence

This content is © Oak National Academy Limited (2024), licensed on Open Government Licence version 3.0 except where otherwise stated. See Oak's terms & conditions (Collection 2).

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Starter quiz

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6 Questions

Q1.
Which of these would you not find in a three part structure for an introduction to an essay?
Thesis statement
Focus on character or theme from question
Correct answer: Conclusive discourse marker
General comment about the text
Q2.
Which of these is not a conclusive discourse marker?
Consequently
In conclusion
Ultimately
Correct answer: Presenting
Finally
Q3.
Which of these are examples of complex sentences with fronted subordinate clauses?
Orwell describes the ...
Correct answer: In presenting Napoleon as ruthless, ...
Squealer uses a rhetorical question when he ...
Correct answer: Through the characterisation of Boxer, ...
Q4.
Match the type of context to the contextual information linked to George Orwell and 'Animal Farm'.
Correct Answer:Social,Orwell explores attitudes towards education.

Orwell explores attitudes towards education.

Correct Answer:Biographical,Orwell worked for the BBC between 1941 and 1943.

Orwell worked for the BBC between 1941 and 1943.

Correct Answer:Historical,Animal Farm was published in 1945.

Animal Farm was published in 1945.

Correct Answer:Literary,Animal Farm uses the tradition of a fairy tale.

Animal Farm uses the tradition of a fairy tale.

Q5.
Complete the quotes from 'Animal Farm' by matching the start of the quote to the end of the quote.
Correct Answer:No animal shall sleep in a bed,with sheets.

with sheets.

Correct Answer:Napoleon was a large, ,rather fierce looking boar.

rather fierce looking boar.

Correct Answer:...had a way of skipping ,from side to side and whisking his tail

from side to side and whisking his tail

Correct Answer:Surely, comrades,,you do not want Jones back?

you do not want Jones back?

Correct Answer:Napoleon ,is always right.

is always right.

Q6.
Which character from 'Animal Farm' says: "The only good human being is a dead one."
Boxer
Napoleon
Old Major
Correct answer: Snowball
Squealer

Exit quiz

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6 Questions

Q1.
What does the term 'judicious' mean in reference to using quotes?
Uninformed
Negative decisions
Correct answer: Informed and well selected
Hasty decisions
Q2.
What does a discourse marker do in writing?
Correct answer: Organises writing into clear sections and ideas
Adds unnecessary complexity
Connects sentences together
Adds description
Q3.
What is 'terminology' in the context of writing?
Everyday language
Correct answer: Subject-specific technical language
Rhetorical devices
Slang
Abstract concepts
Q4.
Which sentence starter is a good way to start a thesis statement?
In conclusion ...
Considering the facts ...
Correct answer: Through the presentation of, ...
To sum up ...
Orwell presents ...
Q5.
In 'Animal Farm', what literary technique is used in the phrase "he could turn black into white"?
Correct answer: metaphor
simile
hyperbole
irony
Q6.
When referring to introductions, what does the phrase 'moves from the general to the specific' mean?
It refers to adding unnecessary details.
Correct answer: It implies starting with a broad statement and narrowing the focus.
It advises avoiding specific examples.
It suggests providing examples from the question.

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