New
New
Year 10
Eduqas

Revising and editing 'Animal farm' essays

I can use effective strategies to revise and improve an essay.

New
New
Year 10
Eduqas

Revising and editing 'Animal farm' essays

I can use effective strategies to revise and improve an essay.

Lesson details

Key learning points

  1. Topic sentences need to be clear and linked to the question.
  2. Main and supporting quotations from the text are used to justify arguments.
  3. Responses should avoid re-telling the plot.
  4. Revising and editing your essays is an important part of the writing process.
  5. Analysis should be linked to the writer’s purpose and comment on choices.

Common misconception

Once an essay is completed it's not worth thinking about again.

Revisiting our own essays can make feedback become really personalised and allow you to work and focus on your own targets.

Keywords

  • Cohesive - In writing, if the structure is cohesive it is clear how the parts fit together. It has a clear introduction, middle and conclusion.

  • Chronological - To arrange things in the order of which they happen in time.

  • Discourse marker - A word or phrase which organises writing into clear sections and ideas.

  • Elevate - You are elevating something if you are making it higher, or in the case of writing making it better.

Using your own knowledge of students, this lesson can be adapted to focus on personalised needs and specific areas of improvement.
Teacher tip

Equipment

You will need access to a copy of 'Animal Farm' by George Orwell.

Content guidance

  • Depiction or discussion of violence or suffering

Supervision

Adult supervision recommended

Licence

This content is © Oak National Academy Limited (2024), licensed on Open Government Licence version 3.0 except where otherwise stated. See Oak's terms & conditions (Collection 2).

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6 Questions

Q1.
Which word refers to the statement that appears in an introduction and presents your overarching argument?
topic
Correct answer: thesis
evidence
concluding
Q2.
Complete this quote from 'Animal Farm': "The others said of Squealer that he could turn ."
Correct Answer: black into white, black in to white, black to white
Q3.
Match the characters from 'Animal Farm' to the quote that describes them.
Correct Answer:Old Major,"a majestic-looking pig"

"a majestic-looking pig"

Correct Answer:Napoleon,"was now a mature boar of twenty-four stone"

"was now a mature boar of twenty-four stone"

Correct Answer:Snowball,"was best at writing"

"was best at writing"

Correct Answer:Mollie,"the foolish, pretty white mare"

"the foolish, pretty white mare"

Correct Answer:Benjamin,"the oldest animal on the farm and the worst tempered"

"the oldest animal on the farm and the worst tempered"

Correct Answer:Clover,"a stout motherly mare"

"a stout motherly mare"

Q4.
In 'Animal Farm' what are Boxer's maxims?
"Snowball is always right" and "Long live Animal Farm"
"I will work harder" and "Long live Animal Farm"
Correct answer: "I will work harder" and "Napoleon is always right"
"Napoleon is always right" and "Long live Animal Farm"
Q5.
From 'Animal Farm', what terminology would identify the method in this quote: "The animals worked like slaves."
Correct answer: Simile
Metaphor
Personification
Pathetic fallacy
Q6.
Starting with the first, put the plot points from 'Animal Farm' in chronological order.
1 - Old Major encourages a rebellion against Mr. Jones.
2 - The animals chased Mr. Jones off the farm.
3 - The farm is renamed 'Animal Farm' and the seven commandments are created.
4 - Snowball fights bravely in the 'Battle of the Cowshed'.
5 - Animals begin building a windmill, but this is destroyed in another battle.
6 - Boxer collapses whilst trying to rebuild the windmill.
7 - The animals realise that the pigs have come to resemble the humans.

6 Questions

Q1.
What is a cohesive structure in relation to writing?
A structure with loose connections.
An unclear arrangement of ideas.
Correct answer: A structure where the parts fit together logically.
A structure with repetitive elements.
Q2.
Which of the following is a discourse marker?
Analytically
Chronologically
Revealing
Correct answer: Consequently
Q3.
What is the purpose of using supporting quotations in an analytical paragraph?
To confuse the reader
To provide background information
Correct answer: To develop and strengthen the argument
To summarise the entire paragraph
Q4.
Which of these does not belong in the success criteria for an analytical paragraph?
Terminology
Topic sentence
Correct answer: Rhetorical devices
Context
Main and supporting quotations
Q5.
What device has been used in this quote from 'Animal Farm'? ''Surely, Comrades, you don't want Jones back?"
Correct answer: Rhetorical question
Metaphor
Alliteration
Simile
Q6.
Which sentence offers the best analysis of Squealer's use of rhetorical question in this quote from 'Animal Farm'? ''Surely, Comrades, you don't want Jones back?'
Correct answer: Orwell uses a rhetorical question to show the influential use of language.
Squealer asks this question to make the animals think.
This question appears in several times throughout the novella.
Squealer uses a rhetorical question.

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