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Year 10
AQA

Evaluating and improving model responses on non-fiction texts

I can understand the expectations of a comparative response and use them to evaluate and rewrite model responses.

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New
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Year 10
AQA

Evaluating and improving model responses on non-fiction texts

I can understand the expectations of a comparative response and use them to evaluate and rewrite model responses.

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Share activities with pupils
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Lesson details

Key learning points

  1. Evaluating model responses with a specific checklist can help improve your own responses.
  2. You can use comparative conjunctions to make clear links between the texts.
  3. Your paragraph must focus on both texts in equal detail, with evidence from both.
  4. You must ensure that the focus of your comparison links to the question.
  5. You need to compare the writers' methods and their tone, as well as their overall attitudes.

Keywords

  • Resililence - the ability to bounce back from difficulties or challenges

  • Incite - to encourage or provoke someone to take action

  • Inequality - things are not fair or equal for everyone

  • Assertive - to confidently express your thoughts or feelings in a respectful and clear manner

  • Anecdote - a short and personal account or story, used in persuasive writing to create a rapport with the audience

Common misconception

Looking at other essays is cheating or copying.

Working with model responses helps develop your critical skills in order to evaluate your own work. Using and adapting others' ideas is a great thing to do!

This lesson uses the articles from Lesson 1 and 2 of this unit (which can be found in the additional materials). If these lessons haven't been completed, students will need time to read the articles. Models have been put in the additional materials, but you may wish to use your own or pupils' work.
Teacher tip

Equipment

You will need access to the model essays found in the additional materials.

Licence

This content is © Oak National Academy Limited (2024), licensed on Open Government Licence version 3.0 except where otherwise stated. See Oak's terms & conditions (Collection 2).

Lesson video

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Starter quiz

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6 Questions

Q1.
When writing a comparative response, you should aim to...
explore the differences in the texts.
explore the similarites in the texts.
Correct answer: explore both similarities and differences in the text.
focus only on one text.
Q2.
In her 'Letter to the Dreamers', Serena Williams uses a first person perspective. Which quote is an example of this?
Correct answer: "We must continue to dream big."
Correct answer: "When I was growing up, I had a dream."
"To all incredible women who strive for excellence."
"[w]omen have to break down many barriers on the road to success."
Q3.
In her speech 'Freedom or Death', Emmeline Pankhurst uses direct address. Which one of these quotes is an example of this?
"It is about eight years since the word militant was first"
"I am here as a soldier who has temporarily left the field of battle"
"No man was ever put out of a public meeting for asking a question"
Correct answer: "You have to make more noise than anybody else"
''That is the whole history of politics.''
Q4.
“We were called militant, and we were quite willing to accept the name”, is an example of …
Correct answer: first person
direct address
Correct answer: collective pronouns
metaphor
Q5.
Comparative conjunctions can be used to make comparisons clear. Which one of these is not a comparative conjunction.
However
Correct answer: Either
Similarly
Equally
Whereas
Q6.
Conjunctions can be used to make close comparisons. conjunctions come in pairs.
Correct Answer: Correlative

Exit quiz

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6 Questions

Q1.
Match the key words to the correct definitions.
Correct Answer:resilience,The ability to bounce back from difficulties or challenges.

The ability to bounce back from difficulties or challenges.

Correct Answer:incite,To encourage or provoke someone to take action.

To encourage or provoke someone to take action.

Correct Answer:inequality,Things are not fair or equal for everyone.

Things are not fair or equal for everyone.

Correct Answer:assertive,To confidently express your thoughts or feelings in a respectful way.

To confidently express your thoughts or feelings in a respectful way.

Correct Answer:anecdote,A short and personal account or story, used in persuasive writing.

A short and personal account or story, used in persuasive writing.

Q2.
In her speech "Freedom or Death", which rhetorical device does Emmeline Pankhurst not use?
Analogy
Correct answer: Humour
Repetition
Metaphor
Direct address
Q3.
Comparative conjunctions can be used in your writing to show similarities and differences. Which one of these is not a comparative conjunction?
However
Similarily
Contranstingly
Likewise
Correct answer: Cleverly
Q4.
Neither/nor and both/and are examples of.....
comparative conjunctions
discourse markers
coordinating conjunctions
evaluative phrases
Correct answer: correlative conjunctions
Q5.
Which words best describe the tone of Emmeline Pankhurst's 'Freedom or Death' speech when she says "I am here as a soldier"?
Correct answer: determined
Correct answer: aggresive
Correct answer: assertive
defeated
Q6.
"My dream wasn’t like that of an average kid, my dream was to be the best tennis player in the world." Williams uses anecdotes in her 'Letter to the Dreamers', why does she do this?
To boast about her successes.
Correct answer: To create a rapport with the audience.
To provide statistical evidence.
To present logical reasoning.
To emphasise chronological events

Additional material

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